OrGaNiZeD KoNFuSioN

Ayna Jundul Muslimeen Pt 2

2009-01-03T12:37:00.001-08:00

As I write this post Israeli ground troops have entered in to Gaza...

The recent news coming out of Gaza has weighed heavily on my mind and I can not help but ache for the pain and suffering my brothers and sisters are feeling.

I'm not writing this to discuss how illegitimate the Israeli occupation is, and I'm not writing this to talk about the fact that they are attempting to ethnically cleanse the region of non-Jews as these things are factual and are not up for discussion.

What I want to talk about is: What can we do?

Recently there have been many marches and rallies in support of the Palestinians with many concerned citizens and people who have had enough of the bias and unconditional support our country has had for Israel's actions making their voices heard. People who are standing in solidarity with the Palestinian people and sending a message that we do care about them and that we do feel their pain and that we do want to do what we can to end this genocide.

But something that has concerned me is that many of my Muslim brothers and sisters who want to help the Palestinian people and are trying their best to make a difference are themselves openly transgressing the laws and regulations of Allah swt.

I'm not saying this because I feel that I am on some high horse, wallahi I know how deficient I am and how far away I am from where I should be with regards to my Lord. But with the advent of sites like myspace and facebook I see major sins broadcast day in and day out through news feeds, pictures, wall posts, etc.

I remember reading the story of a famous Mujahid of our time who went to fight in the '67 war with Israel and during the night time he would notice that the 'mujahideen' were not spending their nights praying to Allah and making dua as was the example set forth by the true mujahideen of the past, and when he called them out for it they told him "this is not an Islamic war, this is an Arab war". At that point he said that he knew this was not where he wanted to be and he left them and ultimately the Israelis won.

So as a reminder to myself first and to anyone who may be reading this, lets rectify our selves and re establish our relationship with Allah swt. How can we possibly think that anything will change in the long term when Allah swt has promised us in His Book that He will not change a condition of a people until we change what is within our selves?

How can we have pictures posted of us drunk and passed out from New Years partying and at the same time wonder why our brothers are going through these difficulties?

How can we openly commit illicit acts with the opposite gender, be proud of it to the point where we have our haram relationship status for everyone to see along with pictures showing us engaging in acts that would require serious repentance to Allah swt while at the same time wonder why our mothers and sisters in Ghazza are being buried alive?

We need to take a long look at ourselves and ask the question: Am I contributing to this genocide by my lack of a relationship with my Lord?

Before we march on Washington demanding the administration change their policies, we need to raise our hands in dua and implore our Lord to change the situation of our brothers. And before we raise our hands in dua to Allah swt, the All Able and All Powerful, to change this situation, we need to ask ourselves if we are even in a state of being that our prayers will be answered.

As Muhammad PBUH told us in the famous hadith which Imam Nawawi collected in his 40 regarding dua:

"Allah the Almighty is good and accepts only that which is good. Allah has
commanded the faithful to do that which he commanded the messengers, and the
Almighty has said: "O ye messengers ! Eat of the good things and do right". And
Allah the Almighty has said : "O ye who believe! Eat of the good things
wherewith We have provided you"Then he mentioned [the case of] a man who, having
journeyed far, is dishevelled and dusty and who spreads out his hands to the sky
[saying] : "O Lord! O Lord!" - while his food is unlawful, his drink unlawful,
his clothing unlawful, and he is nourished unlawfully, so how can he be answered
!"

Do we fall in to this category as well? Do we openly commit sins which become part of us to the point that when we raise our hands our prayers aren't even accepted?

I pray that Allah swt strengthen the defenders of Ghazza, increase them in Iman, pour upon them patience, make their feet firm, straighten their backs, and grant them victory...ameen

And I pray that Allah swt destroy the oppressive regime attacking my brothers and sisters, make the ground under their feet shake, cloud their judgement, make their arms futile and inaccurate, and fill their hearts with terror...ameen

Niqabis 101

2008-08-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

Recently, as everyone knows, I became the last single guy left in my click. By last I mean their are guys younger than me who are getting married and i feel like i got the slow car in a go cart race and everyone's lapping me :)

But please hold off on the pity party, I am enjoying my single days walhumdulillah and though Im not really single by choice, I know that its definitely got its benefits like making G2 - Return of the lota (shameless plug) set to be released late this year inshallah, or by proving that I am a geek at heart by comparing looking for a wife to google searching. But before I continue, those of you who are designated my "google bots" I need you to continue to scour the "internet" for more potential "search results" if you know what im saying.

Which leads me in to the point of this post: Niqabis. As my "google bots" bring back their "search results" after I have made my "query" I know better than to try my fortune and declare that "im feeling lucky" just as I have learned that some "keywords" do not necessarily return the best "results". From here on out im sticking with the "advanced search" option as to not attract too many unwanted "spam". So as I was looking in to these results and "noting" them as well as clicking the "similar pages" option, I started getting more and more Niqabis in the mix.

I have never in my life been around Niqabis, interacted with niqabis, or had anyone in my family who wears niqab other than my deceased Daddi (Allah yarhamha) and my Pakistani cousins in the old country who scared me worse than the youtube maze prank when I noticed that they wore niqab in the street but took it off along with their khimar and jilbaab around their non-mahrem family members!!! Oh, and my sister wore niqab for like 37 seconds back in the day. Yeah Saadz, I still remember the good old ICCL days. So needless to say, when any "search result" is a niqabi I am automatically uncomfortable for a number of reasons (sorry, but I exaggerated a little so they might be extreme stereotypes)

1) I cant assume a niqabi is on the deen just based on her niqab.
2) Is the religiosity of a niqabi inherently greater than someone like me who struggles with keeping their iman afloat day to day?
3) What if Im not attracted to em? When would I make that decision? At what point in the determination of the "search result" do I assess the "image".
4) Do I automatically assume that she isnt going to work or shes going to be an Islamic school teacher?
5) What would I look like walking around with a niqabi? Im not talking image or ego here, im talking here is Iboo: Gandaghee 2, goofy, outgoing, talking to random strangers, going to the movies, going out to eat Iboo. How could that match with a absolutely conservative appearance having niqabi?

Theres more too, but I think the above 5 points are enough to make you want to smack me and teach me a lesson or two while (inshallah) knowing that I am just ignorant to niqabis and want to sincerely be enlightened. So here is my niqabi101 class. Anyone who is a niqabi, knows niqabis, is a guy who WAS in my situation, IS in my situation, or just wants the same questions answered themself: SPEAK!!!

BTW: I personally am of the opinion that niqab is strongly recommended, and that I would definitely want my wife to wear niqab outside of the US, but that since its not fardh that in places like the States you do not need to wear one.

Pain...

2008-08-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

What is this feeling that I feel inside/ It feels like a piece of me just died/ I used to write poems in tears cuz when I cried I could see it/ 'til the pages dried and then the pain once again subsides/ Now I write em in the blood of my brothers/ my sisters and mothers...

Dont wanna give too much away so I'll stop there. Its the beginning of a rhyme I wrote for a song (no, its not for Gandaghee)

Wisdom of Imam Ja'far as-Saadiq (ra)

2008-07-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

Imam Ja'far as-Saadiq was a direct descendant of Muhammed PBUH through his daughter Faatima (ra) and one of the greatest scholars of our Ummah. He had many famous students one of which was Imam Abu Hanifah (ra) who said about his teacher Imam Ja'far that he was the "most learned scholar I have ever seen". Another one of Imam Ja'far's famous students, Sufyaan ath-Thawree, (ra) (one of the people my nephew is named after) once narrated a story about his teacher.

Once, just as Sufyaan (ra) was about to leave his teacher's company he asked Imam Ja'far (ra) to teach him something useful. Imam Ja'far said to him "Sufyan, if you have a blessing and you wish to enjoy it for long, then continue to praise Allah and thank Him for it. Allah says in His revelation 'should you be grateful, I will definitely give you an increase' (14:7) And if you feel that your sustenance is slow coming, seek Allah's forgiveness repeatedly. For Allah says 'Ask your Lord to forgive you your sins, for indeed He is Much-Forgiving. He will let loose the sky over you with abundance, and will aid you with worldly goods and children, and will bestow upon you gardens and running waters' (71:10-12) Sufyaan, when you have a problem weighing heavily on you say, 'no power works except by Allah's leave'. That is key to its disappearance and one of the treasures of heaven". Sufyaan said "These three are awesome indeed!" Ja'far (ra) said "Sufyaan has understood them and Allah will benefit him by them, if He so pleases".

Sex and the City?

2008-06-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

Ive been noticing a lot of muslim sisters talking about how they want to go see Sex and the City in theaters, and so I went on my trusty www.kidsinmind.com website to see some details of what the movie's haram content was. Anyone who feels that it isnt "that bad" or that its "just a movie", I challenge you to read the following out loud to your parents, your siblings, or even your practicing muslim friends without blushing.

CAUTION: EXTREEEMLY GRAPHIC MATERIAL IN LINK.

http://www.kids-in-mind.com/s/sexandthecity.htm

Watching images like this is what desensitizes individuals into feeling like casual sex, homosexuality and other haram behavior isnt "that bad". Wheres the hayaa? Of course the movie was tops in the box office this weekend too! Naudhubillah! A muslim shouldnt be caught DEAD watching something like this, let alone talking about how great it is on facebook!

May Allah swt protect us and keep us far away from disgusting things like this...ameen

The Butterfly Effect...

2007-12-19T20:24:00.001-08:00

I graduate tomorrow inshallah...

With today being Eid, my hijri birthday, and the eve of my graduation naturally I feel as though there is no better time than now to reflect on my life thus far, what I hope God accepts as good from me, what I hope God forgives of my shortcomings, and what parts of my personality I still need to rectify if I wish to obtain God's Mercy.

I remember when I was in the local community college I had finally figured out what I wanted to do, I was acing all of my classes, and I was confident that I was on the right track in life. I was introduced to this guy who had been going to the community college for nearly 5 years and still wasnt too sure what he wanted to major in and anyone who knows me could probably guess that I gave the guy a hard time.

"Are you serious? You've been in school how long? At a COMMUNITY COLLEGE?"

After I left the guy I had this weird feeling inside me that made me feel real uncomfortable about what I had done. Though I didnt embarrass the guy in front of people and my conversation with him was private, I truly think that I made him feel really terrible. A short time after that I myself began to doubt what I was doing in school and so began my grueling 7 year career in college where I went through 5 majors and tons of money.

I look back at that day I made that guy feel bad about his time in school and I have to ask myself "did my arrogance with that guy cause me to have such a tough time in college or was it some kind of self fulfilled prophecy?"

Theres to ways that I can look at this incident: The first way is the way that Rabiah al Basriyyah ra, the great Zahida from the early muslimeen, looked at a hardship she went through. Once she tripped and fell and injured herself and when people went to see if she was ok they found her getting up laughing. The people around her asked her if she was crazy and she replied that when she felt the pain of the fall it reminded her of the promise of Allah that he will remove the sins from the believer when they go through any injury.

The second way to look at the incident is through the incident of the people of the Garden from Surah Qalam. Those people had a garden which they would cultivate and they loved and they
decided that they would gather their fruit in the morning, but they didnt want to give the fruit to any needy person. They came upon their garden and they found that Allah swt had destroyed their garden and they realized that they had indeed done wrong and transgressed. They then asked ALlah swt for forgiveness and then Allah swt says "Such is the Punishment (in this life); but greater is the Punishment in the Hereafter,- if only they knew!"

Was it a purification of my sins? A punishment for my evil actions? Or Both?

Now I look at the past few months and I see that my relationship with Allah swt has definitely been on the decline. I have not been consistent nor have I met the level of iman that I was at no less than a year ago. Of course faith is not a static thing and it goes up and down, but lately my downs have gone down lower than I have ever been and I havent been as urgent in trying to get my iman back up. I look at how Allah swt has responded to me and I see that plans which I made which I feel were great plans have disintegrated. I was certain that something was good for me and my deen and my istikhara had yielded a really positive response yet Allah swt took me away from something which I felt was beneficial and took it away from me in the most abrupt and confusing fashion.

What this again a purification for my soul? Was Allah swt punishing me for my inconsistency?

I have concluded that my inconsistency and lack of desire to develop a stronger relationship with my Creator has led to certain totally confusing things taking place within the last month and I am determined to change myself. Of course that is why you ask Allah for guidance and I have trust in Him that if I strive to please Him he will grant me the best in this life and the next, but I am not totally sold that my istikhara is the reason why I am left without getting what I thought was best for me, I think it might be a punishment for the injustices which I committed against myself and did not seriously try to seek expiation from.

May Allah swt forgive me and make easy for me my ascension to maqaamaat closer to Him. May Allah swt grant me that which is best for me and my deen and bring it close to me, and keep far away from me that which takes me away from Him. May Allah swt grant barakah in my life and make me among those whom He loves...ameen

Final Destination...

2007-05-25T08:28:00.001-07:00

From God we come and to Him we shall return...

http://wjz.com/topstories/local_story_138150629.html

In the summer of 2000 I had just graduated High School and me and my homies from school used to hang out real hard having some good old times just kickin it and enjoyin life. Then I went to visit my brother who was living in Houston at the time, and while I was there the homies I would hang out with got in a car accident with the driver dying instantly, and the rest of the dudes in the car having serious injuries...except for Reese. He actually walked out of the car on his own.

A year after the accident, Wali -may Allah have mercy on his soul- , who was riding in the passenger seat of the car, passed away from complications of a follow up surgery on his eye. Now, 7 years later, Reese Johnson is gunned down in a senseless act of violence, now leaving only two survivors of the car crash alive.

This reminded me of the movie final destination, when the characters "escape" death, only to be caught one by one. This is the reality that each and every one of us is living. We narrowly "escape" death every day because these close calls are just reminds that we gotta get on our Ps and Qs and take this life seriously and find our purpose. We have no guarantees as to when we will die and we cant be acting like we are going to live till we're 70 because its not guaranteed and we could be standing outside OUR doorstep and get shot down and murdered in a split second when we least expect it just like Reese.

Its sad to see that this society is so selfish and so cold that they wouldnt think twice before taking a man's life for a few dollars without thinking about the man's family, the man's mother wife or children. Senseless acts of violence like these are what really burn me up inside because the motive for ending a man's existence in this world was material gain of only a few dollars? Its ridiculous to think that now his children will be orphans and his mother will have to mourn her son's passing for something as stupid as a few dollars that Reese would probably have given the robber if he would have had the chance.

I pray that we take advantage of our life before we die as we never guaranteed even a second on this planet.

2007-05-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is my newest desktop picture, and I have no idea what it says. If any of you can read it and tell me what it says then you are wicious!!!

Mufti Taqi Uthmani has NOT endorsed the Amman Message...

2007-04-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

Taken from www.askimam.org

Fatwa # 15064 from South Africa

Date: Tuesday, April 17th 2007

Marriage Season...

2007-04-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah...

This year is the first year where my closest friends are getting married in droves, and not only are my friends getting married but some of my favorite people in the entire world are now engaged and getting married. I cant even begin to explain how happy I am for these people and I pray that Allah swt blesses the couples with ease in this stressful time of wedding planning, blesses them with ease on their respective weddings, and ease and barakah in their married life to come. I just hope that I can come to all of your weddings!!!

Those of you who are in my close circle of favorite people and are not yet hitched, and you know who you are, I am making dua for you!!! And no...im not just praying for you so that angels make the same dua for me too.

Congrats again my peoples!!!

MIST 07 reflections...

2007-04-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

So its been a week since MIST has ended, and subhan Allah all week I have been thinking about the tournament and how amazing the weekend was.

As I sat there on the day of the awards banquet, listening to the chatter and anticipation of all the children and seeing the sheer joy on their faces, i couldnt help but choke back tears, as I have done every year, just from the thought of this being the next generations of muslimeen in America ready to carry the banner of Islam. I see children who are no doubt better than me, children who are more skilled than me in writing, more knowledgeable than me in deen, and more ready to do islamic work than i will ever be. Every year at the end of MIST on the day of the awards banquet I sit there and look around at the children and choke back tears and I remember the fact that I am behind, I am wasting time, and I am getting older by the day and Allah swt has an entire generation of children just waiting for their chance to change the world, children ready to lap me on their way to Jannah while i sit idle doing nothing to change the world.

To me, this is why MIST is the most important organization and tournament that exists in the US, as I have been quoted as saying here in the muslim link. When I came out of high school i had no idea what Islam was, I had no experience with how organized Islamic work worked, and I didnt even know what the purpose of an MSA was. All of these children participating in MIST are exposed to all of these things, gaining an advantage over their predecessors as they come into the college MSA scene running instead of crawling like us.

Usually, my team (Team Taqwa) does very well placing in the top 3 for all but one year since the tournament began (if my memory serves me correctly) but unfortunately this was not our year. But regardless of the outcome, I looked at the faces of my kids and subhan Allah, I remembered what it was like to actually be around a large group of muslims from your generation for the first time and it gave me goosebumps. The majority of these kids struggle with their Muslim identity in public school settings and for one weekend they are in an environment where its all Muslim all day, and like the hadith of our beloved Prophet Muhammed PBUH states and I will futilely attempt to paraphrase, if you are in the blacksmiths place of work, you will come out of it with soot and smell upon you no matter how involved you are with the blacksmith work. And this one weekend their imam increased from being around their brothers and sisters, from intending to benefit their iman, and for competing and striving against each other in pleasing Allah swt.

Anyone who is around those who organize MIST, or is involved in MIST in any level be it organizational or otherwise, has to testify to the fact that these children show great promise for our Ummah. Its not just that they are practicing Islam and implementing it in their lives as early as middle school, but those that have never been exposed to Islam seriously are being exposed to it in a great environment of competition and gaining a great love for the deen. I was a panelist at a session about majors and this one kid asks me how he can become an Islamic Scholar. Subhan Allah I almost teared up at the sheer notion that this kid at an early age was interested in the sciences of Islam and how to be proficient in them to a level where he wanted to not only be a scholar of deen but a Doctor as well so that he could benefit the people greatly. I looked into that youth's face and I saw a great want and desire to benefit those around him and I pray that Allah swt grant him the best in this world and the next.

In conclusion, MIST is that fire that is lit up under me every year. People say ISNA motivates them to do good works and of course Ramadan does for me and everyone else, but MIST has its place in what motivates me to do better and strive harder in everything im doing for the reason that there are little kids fast approaching at my heels ready to pass me and grab the torch of Islam, and if I want to keep up im gonna have to work harder.

May Allah swt bless all those who organized MIST!
May Allah swt bless all the coaches, judges, speakers, and volunteers!
May Allah swt bless all the participants in MIST, make all the good that they heard this weekend be a means by which they shall enter paradise!

Ameen

Fahd al Kunderi Chillin...

2007-03-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

Be sure to turn off his recitation that I have playing before playing this clip.

May Allah swt accept his dua for himself and for us all...ameen

my new favorite website...

2007-03-12T15:21:00.000-07:00

So a brother hit me with this website recently, and I think its one of the most important websites ive come across in a very long time. It describes exactly what sexually explicit scenes are in a movie so that a person has an exact idea of what they are getting into before watching a movie. It really makes the movies look so bad that you dont even want to see them, no matter how good they supposedly are.

www.kidsinmind.com

1 yr old Maryam...

2007-02-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

So I havent been keeping you all up to speed with the growth of Miss Maryam so i figure her first birthday being today would be a perfect time to upload some pics. Note: We did NOT celebrate her birthday today for anyone who is wondering...we're celebrating it this weekend. Enjoy!!

classic...

2007-02-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

So I walk into the masjid Saturday morning and see this sign taped to the shoe rack in the men's side of the musallah and I just had to take a picture of it with my phone and post it. Classic!!

May Allah swt return brother Ismail
Gomaa's shoes...ameen!!

Qari Hajjaj Ramdan Hindawi reciting surahs Yunus & Hood in Pakistan

2007-01-24T20:12:00.000-08:00


Now I was never a huge fan of the mujawwad style of recitation where the reciter recites really really slow, until I met Qari Hindawi. This is one of the greatest recitations ive heard in a long time and I felt compelled to put the video up for yall to see. Enjoy!!

Habits...

2007-01-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

Repel the thought, for if you don't, it becomes an idea. So repel the idea, for if you don't it will become a desire. So fight against that (desire), for if you dont it will become a determination and a passion. And if you dont repel that, it will become an action. And if you dont replace it with its opposite, it will become a constant habit. So at that point, it will be difficult for you to change it.'
-Ibn al Qayyim ra

for myself first...

2006-12-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

For those who are just getting into the deen, just starting to enjoy the taste of Iman and are still on that first 'high'. This is just some advice for myself and for you, as Allah swt says [translation] "remind, for verily the reminder benefits the believers".

1) If praised by anyone regarding anything, immediately seek refuge in Allah. Truly arrogance is a disease that is just waiting for its chance to invade the heart. Do not allow yourself to feel happy when someone praises your deeds, instead feel shy as if a secret of yours has been made public.

2) Humility is the first step in learning, do not allow yourself to think that anything you have learned has made you better than anyone else for as soon as such a thought enters your mind you have once again lowered yourself in maqam. We learn to please Allah, to benefit ourselves in the hearafter, and to serve others. The first of which commands humility, the second of which requires humility, and the third of which develops humility.

3) Do not call another to good until you have established in your heart your insignificance in comparison to Allah.

4) Do not enjoy talking about any jahil activities you did before Allah swt blessed you with this deen. Such thoughts should force you to cry and seek forgiveness.

5) Realize that just as Allah swt has blessed you with Islam, and blessed you with Iman, and opened your heart to the realities of this deen, just as you now feel that obedience to Allah is obvious, remember how you did not give it it's due before, how you neglected Allah swt's rights upon you and took this deen lightly. Just as Allah swt has blessed you with Islam, He can take it away. Make istighfar, praise Allah and thank Him for you have done NOTHING to earn Allah swt's mercy.

6) Do not stop and take inventory of the knowledge you have gained, boasting about it and taking pride in its discussion. Do not be like the builder who builds a home piece by piece and decides to stand and admire the construction thus far, until the home begins to crumble due to lack of its completion and maintenance. Our home we are building is in Jannah, and we should not sit back to look at it until we are dead and gone, for truly it is of no benefit to us until we leave this place.

7) As soon as you learn a few ayaat or ahadith, take a look at yourself and ask yourself if this knowledge has changed your demeanor, enhanced your relationship with Allah swt, and increased your remembrance of Allah. If it hasnt, you need to renew your intention.

May Allah swt make us among those whom He loves...ameen

Hadith of the Week 10/27

2006-10-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

So I am sending a hadith of the week to my MSA so I have decided to post the hadith here as well. I am getting the ahadith from Zaad at-talibeen by Shaykh Ashiq ilaahi al Bulandshehri translated by Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf.

adduaa'u mukh-khul ibaadah (saheeh Bukhari)

"Supplication is the essence of worship"

Supplication has been called the essence of worship for two main reasons. First by supplicating to Allah, a person fulfills his obligation of calling on Allah, which is understood from the verse "And your Lord says, 'Call on Me, I will answer you (your prayer)" Quran 40:60. This is worship in its purest form. Second, by invoking Allah, one realizes that only He can fulfill one's needs. The servant who calls upon his Lord abandons hope in everything else and turns his full attention to Allah, humbling himself in front of Him. This is the essence of worship. Another desired result of worship is to attain reward from Allah. Because there is such great reward in suplication, it has been called the essence of worship. (mazaad al raagibeen 7)

Prescription 4 Change...

2006-10-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Heres a hot lecture by Imam Suhaib Webb about Ramadan. Ive been sitting on it for a while and havent gotten a chance to post it on da bliznogg so my bad.

You can find more lectures like this at this link that my MAS bros and sisters put together: http://www.masyouth.org/ramadan.php?page=segment1

Duas!!!

Do you want some Islam on it I can SPREAD IT WITH MY SWOOORD!

2006-10-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

Great article written by a Jew about the concept of Islam being spread by the sword.

Since the days when Roman Emperors threw Christians to the lions, the
relations between the emperors and the heads of the church have undergone
many changes.

Constantine the Great, who became Emperor in the year 306 - exactly 1700
years ago - encouraged the practice of Christianity in the empire, which
included Palestine. Centuries later, the church split into an Eastern
(Orthodox) and a Western (Catholic) part. In the West, the Bishop of Rome,
who acquired the title of Pope, demanded that the Emperor accept his
superiority.

The struggle between the Emperors and the Popes played a central role in
European history and divided the peoples. It knew ups and downs. Some
Emperors dismissed or expelled a Pope, some Popes dismissed or
excommunicated an Emperor. One of the Emperors, Henry IV, "walked to
Canossa", standing for three days barefoot in the snow in front of the
Pope's castle, until the Pope deigned to annul his excommunication.

But there were times when Emperors and Popes lived in peace with each
other. We are witnessing such a period today. Between the present Pope,
Benedict XVI, and the present Emperor, George Bush II, there exists a
wonderful harmony. Last week's speech by the Pope, which aroused a
world-wide storm, went well with Bush's crusade against "Islamofascism", in
the context of the "Clash of Civilizations".

IN HIS lecture at a German university, the 265th Pope described what he
sees as a huge difference between Christianity and Islam: while
Christianity is based on reason, Islam denies it. While Christians see the
logic of God's actions, Muslims deny that there is any such logic in the
actions of Allah.

As a Jewish atheist, I do not intend to enter the fray of this debate. It
is much beyond my humble abilities to understand the logic of the Pope. But
I cannot overlook one passage, which concerns me too, as an Israeli living
near the fault-line of this "war of civilizations".

In order to prove the lack of reason in Islam, the Pope asserts that the
prophet Muhammad ordered his followers to spread their religion by the
sword. According to the Pope, that is unreasonable, because faith is born
of the soul, not of the body. How can the sword influence the soul?

To support his case, the Pope quoted - of all people - a Byzantine Emperor,
who belonged, of course, to the competing Eastern Church. At the end of the
14th century, the Emperor Manuel II Palaeologus told of a debate he had -
or so he said (its occurrence is in doubt) - with an unnamed Persian Muslim
scholar. In the heat of the argument, the Emperor (according to himself)
flung the following words at his adversary:

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find
things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword
the faith he preached".

These words give rise to three questions: (a) Why did the Emperor say them?
(b) Are they true? (c) Why did the present Pope quote them?

WHEN MANUEL II wrote his treatise, he was the head of a dying empire. He
assumed power in 1391, when only a few provinces of the once illustrious
empire remained. These, too, were already under Turkish threat.

At that point in time, the Ottoman Turks had reached the banks of the
Danube. They had conquered Bulgaria and the north of Greece, and had twice
defeated relieving armies sent by Europe to save the Eastern Empire. On May
29, 1453, only a few years after Manuel's death, his capital,
Constantinople (the present Istanbul) fell to the Turks, putting an end to
the Empire that had lasted for more than a thousand years.

During his reign, Manuel made the rounds of the capitals of Europe in an
attempt to drum up support. He promised to reunite the church. There is no
doubt that he wrote his religious treatise in order to incite the Christian
countries against the Turks and convince them to start a new crusade. The
aim was practical, theology was serving politics.

In this sense, the quote serves exactly the requirements of the present
Emperor, George Bush II. He, too, wants to unite the Christian world
against the mainly Muslim "Axis of Evil". Moreover, the Turks are again
knocking on the doors of Europe, this time peacefully. It is well known
that the Pope supports the forces that object to the entry of Turkey into
the European Union.

IS THERE any truth in Manuel's argument?

The pope himself threw in a word of caution. As a serious and renowned
theologian, he could not afford to falsify written texts. Therefore, he
admitted that the Qur'an specifically forbade the spreading of the faith by
force. He quoted the second Sura, verse 256 (strangely fallible, for a
pope, he meant verse 257) which says: "There must be no coercion in matters
of faith".

How can one ignore such an unequivocal statement? The Pope simply argues
that this commandment was laid down by the prophet when he was at the
beginning of his career, still weak and powerless, but that later on he
ordered the use of the sword in the service of the faith. Such an order
does not exist in the Qur'an. True, Muhammad called for the use of the
sword in his war against opposing tribes - Christian, Jewish and others -
in Arabia, when he was building his state. But that was a political act,
not a religious one; basically a fight for territory, not for the spreading
of the faith.

Jesus said: "You will recognize them by their fruits." The treatment of
other religions by Islam must be judged by a simple test: How did the
Muslim rulers behave for more than a thousand years, when they had the
power to "spread the faith by the sword"?

Well, they just did not.

For many centuries, the Muslims ruled Greece. Did the Greeks become
Muslims? Did anyone even try to Islamize them? On the contrary, Christian
Greeks held the highest positions in the Ottoman administration. The
Bulgarians, Serbs, Romanians, Hungarians and other European nations lived
at one time or another under Ottoman rule and clung to their Christian
faith. Nobody compelled them to become Muslims and all of them remained
devoutly Christian.

True, the Albanians did convert to Islam, and so did the Bosniaks. But
nobody argues that they did this under duress. They adopted Islam in order
to become favorites of the government and enjoy the fruits.

In 1099, the Crusaders conquered Jerusalem and massacred its Muslim and
Jewish inhabitants indiscriminately, in the name of the gentle Jesus. At
that time, 400 years into the occupation of Palestine by the Muslims,
Christians were still the majority in the country. Throughout this long
period, no effort was made to impose Islam on them. Only after the
expulsion of the Crusaders from the country, did the majority of the
inhabitants start to adopt the Arabic language and the Muslim faith - and
they were the forefathers of most of today's Palestinians.

THERE IS no evidence whatsoever of any attempt to impose Islam on the Jews.
As is well known, under Muslim rule the Jews of Spain enjoyed a bloom the
like of which the Jews did not enjoy anywhere else until almost our time.
Poets like Yehuda Halevy wrote in Arabic, as did the great Maimonides. In
Muslim Spain, Jews were ministers, poets, scientists. In Muslim Toledo,
Christian, Jewish and Muslim scholars worked together and translated the
ancient Greek philosophical and scientific texts. That was, indeed, the
Golden Age. How would this have been possible, had the Prophet decreed the
"spreading of the faith by the sword"?

What happened afterwards is even more telling. When the Catholics
re-conquered Spain from the Muslims, they instituted a reign of religious
terror. The Jews and the Muslims were presented with a cruel choice: to
become Christians, to be massacred or to leave. And where did the hundreds
of thousand of Jews, who refused to abandon their faith, escape? Almost all
of them were received with open arms in the Muslim countries. The Sephardi
("Spanish") Jews settled all over the Muslim world, from Morocco in the
west to Iraq in the east, from Bulgaria (then part of the Ottoman Empire)
in the north to Sudan in the south. Nowhere were they persecuted. They knew
nothing like the tortures of the Inquisition, the flames of the auto-da-fe,
the pogroms, the terrible mass-expulsions that took place in almost all
Christian countries, up to the Holocaust.

WHY? Because Islam expressly prohibited any persecution of the "peoples of
the book". In Islamic society, a special place was reserved for Jews and
Christians. They did not enjoy completely equal rights, but almost. They
had to pay a special poll-tax, but were exempted from military service - a
trade-off that was quite welcome to many Jews. It has been said that Muslim
rulers frowned upon any attempt to convert Jews to Islam even by gentle
persuasion - because it entailed the loss of taxes.

Every honest Jew who knows the history of his people cannot but feel a deep
sense of gratitude to Islam, which has protected the Jews for fifty
generations, while the Christian world persecuted the Jews and tried many
times "by the sword" to get them to abandon their faith.

THE STORY about "spreading the faith by the sword" is an evil legend, one
of the myths that grew up in Europe during the great wars against the
Muslims - the reconquista of Spain by the Christians, the Crusades and the
repulsion of the Turks, who almost conquered Vienna. I suspect that the
German Pope, too, honestly believes in these fables. That means that the
leader of the Catholic world, who is a Christian theologian in his own
right, did not make the effort to study the history of other religions.

Why did he utter these words in public? And why now?

There is no escape from viewing them against the background of the new
Crusade of Bush and his evangelist supporters, with his slogans of
"Islamofascism" and the "Global War on Terrorism" - when "terrorism" has
become a synonym for Muslims. For Bush's handlers, this is a cynical
attempt to justify the domination of the world's oil resources. Not for the
first time in history, a religious robe is spread to cover the nakedness of
economic interests; not for the first time, a robbers' expedition becomes a
Crusade.

The speech of the Pope blends into this effort. Who can foretell the dire
consequences?

Uri Avnery, an Israeli writer and peace activist, founded the Gush Shalom
movement. He had served three terms as an MP at the Knesset.

This article was published by Gush Shalom
http://zope.gush-shalom.org/home/en/channels/avnery/1159094813

Cluster Bombs in Lebanon...

2006-09-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5360150.stm

Israel pressed on cluster targets

Up to 40% of cluster munitions in Lebanon did not explode

The UN has urged Israel to say exactly where it fired cluster bombs during its recent bombardment of south Lebanon.

Humanitarian co-ordinator David Shearer says Israel's failure to provide the co-ordinates has hampered a clear-up effort that could take many months.

An average of three people are killed or wounded a day by cluster munitions since the fighting ended on 14 August.

Thousands of cluster bomblets landed in farms and villages, some 30-40% of which failed to explode at the time.

It seems to me extraordinary they were fired in the last hours of the war where civilian populations were known to be going

UN Humanitarian Co-ordinator David Shearer

Israel denies using the munitions illegally against civilian targets during the conflict.

But Mr Shearer said Israel has yet to explain why 90% of its cluster munitions were fired in the last days of the conflict, as UN members were finalising a ceasefire resolution.

"We know these munitions have a failure rate and it seems to me extraordinary that they were fired off in the last hours of the war into areas where civilian populations were known to be going," Mr Shearer told a news conference in Beirut.

"For a humanitarian person, it defies belief that this would happen."

Economic impact

At least 350,000 unexploded bomblets litter southern Lebanon, the UN says, only 17,000 of which have so far been cleared, mostly from villages, schools and playing areas.

Israel denies firing the weapons at non-military targets

At least 15 people including a child have been killed and 83 others wounded, 23 of them children, the UN says.

UN demining teams in south Lebanon say the Israeli military has supplied maps of cluster bomb strikes but they are not detailed enough to be of use.

Mr Shearer said the economic impact of unexploded cluster munitions would also be severe, as farmers are unable to utilise their land in a region which depends on agriculture for 70% of its income.

Human rights groups have criticised both Israel and Hezbollah for targeting civilians indiscriminately in the five-week conflict, which was sparked when Hezbollah militants captured two Israeli soldiers in a cross-border raid.

ISNA 06 Ruminations...

2006-09-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

So ISNA ended last week and alhumdulillah, once again it was a very well timed vacation for me before school started officially and I was going to drown in my books.

One thing I notice is that every ISNA/Labor day weekend there is some really really peculiar thing that happenes in the news. For instance, a number of years back Princess Dianna died in her car accident, years after that Ricky Williams who was set to be one of the greatest Running Backs in the NFL decided he was going to retire in order to smoke weed, and then this year not only did the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin get killed by a fatal Sting Ray sting to the chest, but a LineBacker for the San Diego Chargers was shot 3 times by the police and was suspended by the team. How crazy is that?

Back home as I was at ISNA, my Maryam (my niece for you newcommers to my blog) got her ears pierced. She looks like a girl!!! My baby is getting all grown up. :(

Back to the conference.

Here are some main points I took from the conference, actually, they are pretty much all I remember one week later as I am trying to summon my thoughts together to make this entry. Im sure more will be recollected as I need it in every day life situations insha Allah.

1) In a lecture about the one who sheds tears for the sake of Allah (the 7th of those 7 shaded by Allah swt's shade on the DOJ) given by Imam Suhaib Webb (may Allah preserve him) there was a question asked about group dhikr. Imam Suhaib began to answer the question by first getting to the root of the issue which is difference of opinion, and he made the point that the difference between whether group dhikr is permissible or not is not a traditionalist vs salafi thing, but it is a fiqi issue that scholars like Abu Bakr al Maliki (Imam Suhaib follows the Maliki Madhab) and others within traditional Islamic Schools also see as not permissible. But he made the point that there are two different types of differences: masaa'il ijtihaadiyyah (matters for those of Ijtihaad) and these matters are matters that are allowable differences, and these differences must be respected by all schools. It is a consensus of the scholars that such matters that fall into this latter category can not be changed by the hand, therefore if someone follows the opinion that it is permissible and you dont, you can not change this with your hand and you leave the person to his dhikr. He then recommended the ettiquettes of disagreement which I gotta check out when I get a chance.

2) I went to a Shia/Sunni session which, to no surprise, was booked beyond capacity since errybody and their mom wanna know what the deally is. Imam Magid made the point that Muslims need to get back to the Sunnah of Muhammed PBUH which is to honor ahl al bayt, and he also made sure to mention that Abu Bakr ra's grand daughter was actually the mother of Imam Ja'far as Sadiq, who Shia's consider to be one of the 12 imams. The shia speaker also made the point that Shia need to stop cursing the Sahabah of Muhammed PBUH and that this is something that must be fixed if we want bridges to be built.

3) The most beneficial thing I think I got out of the entire conference was the dua of Muhammed PBUH that he used to say the most during his life as reported by umm Salama ra. Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik, O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen. Subhan Allah! This is such an easy dua and was emphasized serveral times by Imam Suhaib Webb as well as another speaker whose name escapes me right now. This is going to be the dua of the year for me iA!

4) Suhaib Webb also made reference to a hadith that I really felt was extremely benefical to me in which Muhammed PBUH enters into Jannah and sees people who are already there. Muhammed PBUH then asks these people how they snuck into Jannah and they replied "We worshipped Allah swt secretly so we entered Jannah secretly"...Subhan ALLAH!!! This hadith brought tears to my eyes. How many of us do deeds that no one by ALlah swt knows about? How few and far in between are these deeds that are not known by anyone but Allah?

5) In a late night tahajjud session Imam Suhaib webb gave a tafseer of surah Fatihah and I did not know that the surah was actually revealed in both Makkah and Madina, once in each location. This is amazing. In the same session he was then asked during the question answer session whether or not it is necessary to follow a madhab. He responded by saying that he perferred that one follow a madhab, but that that was his own opinion. He then clarified by saying that he definitely recommended following a madhab in ibadaat (acts of worship) since these acts of worship can nnot be mixed and matched, and he gave the example of the placement of the hands (he's Maliki) and how he keeps his hands to his sides, but that the preferred opinion is that if you are in a place where like 95% of the people are not Maliki, then you fold your arms like erryone else to be uniform with the jamaa'. THis was a crucial point he made which is that you dont make these fiqi differences be that which breaks you apart, and that you dont act as if yours is the only valid opinion.

6) Last but not least, a saying of the Tableeghi Jamaat as quoted by Imam Suhaib Webb ( I guess everyone can figure out which lectures I attended huh?) that 'He who is talking, his tongue is closest to his own ear'...subhan Allah, this is a beautiful reminder to practice what we preach and to make sure that we are not calling others to that which we do not even follow ourselves. I remember there was a scholar (someone can post the scholars name cuz i cannot remember it right now) and during his time the slave trade had really became popular in the area. The scholar was asked to give a khutbah telling the people to free their slaves. So one jummah goes by and the scholar does not mention it, then another jummah goes by and he does not mention it, another jummah goes by and the person is wondering why the scholar has not yet mentioned it in the khutbah. Then finally the scholar gave a khutbah in which he asked the people to free their slaves and everyone freed their slaves. When asked why it took so long for him to give the khutbah on the slaves the scholar said that he did not have a slave of his own, so he went out and bought one. Then he kept the slave, and then set the slave free. Then finally he was going to preach something that he too had practiced, and so he waited to give the khutbah until this point.

May Allah make us among those who listen and follow the best of what we listen to. May Allah accept the good deeds that everyone who attended ISNA has put forth, and forgive any sins that may have accumulated for anyone during ISNA as well....ameen

insignificant...

2006-08-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah...

This is a forward I got and when I saw it it made me remember the ayah in Suratul Insaan where Allah swt says in the very first ayah 'Has there not been over Man a long period of Time, when he was nothing - (not even) mentioned?'

Antares is the 15th brightest star in the sky.

It is more than 1000 light years away.

Subhan Allahi amma yushrikoon!

Imagine us, this feeble fragile little creature created from najaasa, not even being able to feed ourselves! Then growing into a being that can stand up, poke out its chest, and reject Allah swt's Power and Might, and to show arrogance though we are merely a dot standing on a dot that ultimately is unmentionable when compared to the heaven in which it is, and this heaven, immesurable to the scientist and considered infinite because of this inability to measure, is merely a dot compared to its superior heaven. Then ultimately, this second heaven and all the heavens put together comprise merely a dot, an unmentionable blip in size compared to the Arsh of Allah swt.

Ya Allah make us among those who are humble, and if we are not humble then ya Allah humiliate us and bring us down into humility. Ya Allah if there is even a mustard seed of arrogance in our hearts then remove it ya Allah, and make the distance between us and this arrogance the distance between the heavens and the earth ya Rabbal Alameen.

Ameen

Latest Maryam

2006-08-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since i hit yall with some Maryam Zuberi soooo here she is, 6 months old and 14 lbs masha Allah. Is that not the cutest thugg face ever!! My baby is growing up so fast!!!!

May Allah swt protect her from hassad, keep her upon the fitrah her entire life, and make her among the beacons of light for the future of this ummah...ameen

I know yall are wondering: The camel I got in Madina for my sister and it sings arabic songs so we decided to sit her on it, while the Grumpy Dwarf i got for my sis like 5 years ago on her Bday.

Good times

Gandaghee II: Not gonna be done for ISNA...

2006-08-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

For those who care Gandaghee 2: Return of the Lota has been delayed..........again!

Seems like I am the only one who still had time to do it seeing how the entire crew is either engaged or got married within the last few months. But even i was working too much to get any time to do anything for the movie so...yeah next ISNA insha Allah.

Keep the hype alive!!!

lowest of low...

2006-08-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

So I went to the local masjid in Bmore that has a gym to play all night just like any other Friday night, but this time was different.

I actually was on a winning team!!

Im not talking just winning one game, but we won 7 straight games and after I took my shoes off and retired from blisters, my team won another one without me.

But in the midst of such good times I had a moment that really grounded me, burst my bubble, and made me reflect on my maqaam with regards to closeness to Allah swt.

Allah swt indeed tests those whom He loves and to elevate our status in the afterlife we go through a purification process here on earth. Each passed test elevates us closer to Allah swt.

I was talking to one of the brothers there and I asked him if he was married, just small talk trying to do some ta'aaruf, getting to know my brothers in Islam. Im expecting a simple answer of yes, no, im working on it, something to that effect yet I get an answer that totally floors me.

This bro, not even 30 years old yet, tells me that his wife passed away 3 years ago and that he has been raising 4 children on his own for 3 years.

Subhannallahal adheem!

I would never have thought that this bro was going to give me such an answer to such a simple question and my expression on my face froze.

What kind of weak individual I am to think that I go through any kind of hardships in my life when brothers are going through struggles so real, that if this burden were to be placed on my shoulders I would crumble under pressure.

Is it because Allah swt has a test waiting for me that I have yet to encounter? Or is it that Allah swt knows how weak I am that He swt has made my life easy to the point that I do not recieve tests like everyone else?

I remember reading in al Furqaan by Imam Ibn Taymiyyah ra the difference between a Prophet/King and a Messenger/Servant. The example of a Prophet/King is Sulayman alayhis salaam who inherited a kingdom with a huge dominion, saw success in this life according to standards of this world, and whose duty was to carry on the Jihad against the idolators and to maintain order in the world with his power and vast influence. Then the example of the Messenger/Servant is that of Muhammed PBUH who never saw material success in this world. He PBUH died in such a state that as he was slipping in and out of consciousness he saw a few gold coins in his presence and asked what it was, and immediately ordered that it be distributed to the needy. This is the man who bled at Ta'if and was chased out by a mob of stone hurling individuals simply because he PBUH called them to Allah swt. He bled until his sandals had puddles of blood, yet he did not curse these people and did not want them to be punished for their actions.

The expansion of Islam came mostly under Umar ra who was the vicegerent of Muhammed PBUH to the rest of the world for the most part, while Muhammed PBUH spent 23 years purifying, sanctifying, and perfecting the people so that they would be prepared to be torch-bearing messengers of the Messenger.

Can you imagine that Muhammed PBUH was only a Prophet of Allah swt for 23 years, yet he made such an impact on the entire world?

This example of struggle and striving without seeing the fruits of it in this world makes Muhammed PBUH superior to all other Prophets and Messengers that ever were sent, and this is a sign to me of the importance of struggle in regards to our station of nearness to Allah swt.

I do not want to pray for hardship, but what does it mean when I am not being tested with anything close to what my peers deal with?

Allah doesnt burden a person beyond their scope, so should I pray that my scope be raised and my shoulders be strengthened so that I can bear a burden of a greater scope than I can right now?

May Allah swt make us all among those who realize that the tests we deal with are absoulutely nothing compared to the tests that Muhammed PBUH went through, and that we realize our trials, as significant and difficult they may seem, are nothing compared to someone else on the earth who is dealing with something much greater than us.

Ameen

Men of all Men...

2006-08-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

So I have been listening to the Madina Period cds by imam Anwar al Awlaki (may Allah preserve him) and subhan Allah, I am at the story of Badr, a story I know very well, but imam Anwar highlights some incidents that I had never heard, stories that as I hear them my face changes and my heart drops as I envy the Sahabah for being able to be in the company of the greatest man to ever live.

The sahabah were standing in rows as they prepared for battle (as it is mentioned in Surah Saff) and Muhammed PBUH was walking in front of them and making sure they were lined up properly as if they were in salah. He PBUH was using an arrow to straighten them out and he came to one Sahabah who was a little further out than the rest so he pushed the Sahabah back with his PBUH's arrow. The Sahabah's name was Sawaad ra (not Safwan, i got two names confused).

After the Prophet PBUH pushed him back with the arrow, Sawaad ra said "Ya Rasulullah, you have injured me, and I want to retaliate."

Imagine that? This is not only a member of an army, but the leader of the army. He PBUH was not just a leader of any army but he is the leader of the army of the Muslimeen. He is not only the leader of the Muslimeen but he is the Prophet of Allah swt, peace and blessings be upon him. Imagine what a leader of an army would do to a common soldier who said something like this to them in front of the entire army? They would have him taken away and locked in a jail cell or something, but this is Rahmatal lil alameen, the Mercy to Mankind we are talking about.

Muhammed PBUH exposed his stomach and told Safwan ra to retaliate if that is what he wants to do. Safwan ra got down, kissed the stomach of Muhammed PBUH and hugged the Prophet PBUH.

Muhammed PBUH asked him why he did such a thing, and Safwan responded with a response that made my eyes well up.

He said "Ya Rasulullah, you see what is ahead of us (meaning the imminent battle), and I wanted the last thing I touch to be the skin of Rasulullah PBUH", and then Muhammed PBUH made dua for him.

Laa ilaaha illalla!

How beautiful was this relationship between this companion who we barely know anything about and Muhammed PBUH!? Every Sahabah felt that he was the closest to Muhammed PBUH and they loved him so much that they were ready to sacrifice their life for him.

My favorite Sahabah (abu Dujanah ra) at the battle of Uhud, when Muhammed PBUH was injured, stood in front of him PBUH and shielded him by turning and facing him and putting his arms up to the sides, and arrows were being fired at Muhammed PBUH and abu Dujanah ra caught the arrows in his back and didnt even turn around ensuring that Muhammed PBUH was safe.

I just try and imagine that moment before battle, the calm before the storm where anxiety is in the air, this Sahabah still doing something like this to express his love to Muhammed PBUH.

No leader has ever been loved more by his followers than Muhammed PBUH was loved by his Sahabah and is still loved by his followers who have never even met him.

Can you imagine him PBUH standing there on the day of Judgement, with the hawd there, recognizing you as his follower, and calling you over and giving you to drink from his very hand? If that does not make you get tingly inside then you need to check your pulse.

I was talking to my summer camp kids about how we are force fed the definitions for beauty and coolness, and we just take them and run with em. We think a beard is not cool and a shaved face is. We think that emulating some rapper or singer or actor is the way to success when all this will do is land us in deep deep trouble regarding our hearafter. I told them that the only people worth emulating for guys and girls is Muhammed PBUH and his companions. We gotta analyze everything that comes to us that is culture, analyze its ability to conform to the laws of Allah swt and the Sunnah of Muhammed PBUH, and then we accept it and reject it based on this criteria.

We can not allow ourselves to melt into this disgusting culture of lewdness, selfishness, arrogance and greed. We are Muslims and we are far superior to this type of lifestyle.

May Allah grant us the love of Muhammed PBUH which is expressed through action and not lip service. May Allah make us among those who Muhammed PBUH is their most beloved, and who Muhammed PBUH will give to drink from his blessed hands on the Day of Judgement. May Allah love us and forgive our sins for following Muhammed PBUH. May Allah swt protect our youth, keep them on the straight path, and make their Muslim Identity strong.

Ameen...ameen...ameen...

ayna jundul muslimeen?

2006-08-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Its people like this that make me want to confront any terrorist jihadi muslim who thinks that every non muslim civilian living in the west's blood is halaal because they support the killing of innocent muslimeen all over the world.

May Allah guide this man to the truth of Islam as he obviously stands for truth already.

Abu Tangent...

2006-08-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

So I havent posted in a while because the last post pretty much sums up everything going on in my life. My brothers and sisters being massacred in Lebanon has not only occupied my thoughts but it has occupied my prayers, it has taken away from my sleep, it has constantly been on my mind and I have constantly been reflecting on the fact that this attack on Lebanon and the imminent attack of Greater Syria is of the signs of last days to come as narrated from Muhammed PBUH (al bidaaya wan nihaaya by Ibn Katheer ra).

One of the main things ive been thinking about is the ayah in the Quran in Surah Israa where Allah swt says:

"17:81 And say: "Truth has (now) arrived, and Falsehood perished: for Falsehood is (by its nature) bound to perish."

innal baatila kaana zahooqa, verily falsehood by its nature is bound to perish. Subhan Allah, how truthful is Allah swt?

This bubble that we live in known as the US, a bubble that has duped us all to think that this system is the most forward thinking and productive system and a vanguard for the entire world to follow is crumbling from the inside. The morality of the commoner in this country is on average something that is accepting of so many evils and munkaraat that not more than 100 years ago were condemned publicly by the mainstream American. This disintegration of the morality of a nation is one of the signs that this place is set to be implode, as was true of the Persians, Romans, and yes, even the Muslimeen. Of course we know that our leaving our message is what caused us to be in the state that we are in now, but the full embracing of the 'freedoms' of these other societies is what causes them to pervert, and eventually it only takes a slight nudge from an outside force to bring the empire crumbling down.

This concept of the nature of falsehood being that it will self destruct is something that we as Muslims really really need to reflect on. Allah swt is testing us with a really strong test where we have to decide if that which is from Allah is going to be our banner, or if we are going to concede to the apparent goodness of a man made greed based fascism in disguise mirage we know as Western 'Democracy' based on the sheer fact that they have a bigger piece of the dunya than we do. Subhan Allah! As if this dunya is an adequate measure of success! Muslims lost this dunya when we took our eyes of the pleasure of Allah and placed it upon this unworthy mass of fools gold, and the Kuffar won this dunya when they left Allah and focused on hoarding anything and everything on this world and they made every breath they take be for the sake of gaining wealth and status down here in the lowest of low.

ad Dunya...the word itself comes from the root that means the lowest. What a small price we have sold our souls for! Are our souls not worth more than something that is here today and gone tomorrow! Are they not worth more than that which we can not even take into our graves?

I remember once I was sitting outside somewhere waiting for someone to come and it was night time. I was looking at a home and it had its lights on, then suddenly the lights turned off. This made me remember the saying of Ali ra where he stood above a grave and said the following to the inhabitors of the grave.

"Oh dwellers of the tomb! tell us about yourselves or we will tell you about yourselves! The money was divided, the women got married, and others inhabited your houses. I swear by Allah that if they could speak they would say 'We have never seen a better provision than taqwa'"

Here we are faced with a decision between choosing haqq and choosing baatil, and we choose baatil because we see its immediate benefit in the dunya, and the benefit of the hearafter is not something that is tangible to our senses.

A closing thought I have is actually something that i was reflecting on while I was in salaah. I was reciting suratul Ikhlas in my sunnah and I came to the second verse. "Allah is as Samad", The Self Sufficient. How ironic it is that this is in surah Ikhlas, a surah that is extremely short and easy to recite if you wanna just make your salah and bounce without reflection. This surah (unfortunately) is like the surah that you say when you dont have time to pray and you just wanna get it done, and subhan Allah, one of the ayaat is affirmation of the fact that Allah swt does not need us nor does He swt need our prayers. If we think we are just gonna say what we can real fast to escape the responsibilty we have as a muslim to make salah, then we gotta remember that the reward for such a salah will be according to our sincerity. Allah swt is Self Sufficient, and our salah should be done in such a state of humility and need with the constant thought in our mind that we are fuqaraa, that we are needy, and that Allah is al Ghaniyy, The Rich.

May Allah make us among those whom He loves.
May He make us among those whose salawaat are based upon ikhlaas.
May Allah grant victory to the mujahideen all over the world

ameen

Disgusting...

2006-07-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/07/23/perry.tyre/index.html

if this story does not fill your eyes with tears, if this story does not fill you with anger and sorrow, if this story does not dry your mouth and fill your throat with a helpless lump, if this doesnt force you to get up and make dua, if reading this does not evoke any emotion from your heart, you have a serious problem.

Ya Allah grant Mohammad Mansour Jannah! Ya Allah forgive him all his sins and write him down as a shaheed! Ya Allah remove any pain and suffering from little Muhammad and his sister Maria! Ya Allah if it is their time to go, ya Allah grant them shahadah and grant them ease to their pain! Ya Allah forgive sister Nuhader Mansoor all her sins! Ya Allah forgive her her sins, multiply her good deeds, and pour upon her patience! Ya Allah grant her ease in this difficult time! Ya Allah grant Ali and Ahmed ease in this difficult time and take all pain and grief away from them! Ya Allah you are the Witness over all of your creation and You are the Most Just, grant this entire family jannah without reckoning, make this missle attack be the cause for their being admitted into Jannatul Firdaws, and make them witnesses against the Jabbareen who did this to them on the Day of Judgement, where judgement will be Yours and Yours alone ya Allah! Taqabbal duaa'ee, wa akhiru da'waana aanil hamdulillahi rabbil aalameen.

Wansur al Mujahideena fisabeelika fee kulli makaan...

2006-07-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

So as I watch the news about the terrorist state of Israel and see images of the sheer destruction that these Jabbareen have done to the lives of so many innocent Lebanese, I am filled with so much anger and rage that literally my muscles are cramping up and flexing like I just came back from the weight room. To think that 2 soldiers being captured by Hezbollah (which is in no way shape or form an act of terrorism) has triggered the Israeli government to allow the indiscriminant bombing of civilian installations including caravans of refugees, apartment buildings, masajid, trucks bringing aid, roads leading out of southern towns, cell phone towers (making impossible any communications from the south) and news station broadcasting locations (so the news of the devastation cant get out to the public) is something that is making my blood boil.

To think that all this obvious criminal, oppressive, disgusting behavior is going on is enough to make me fume, but then, to turn on the tv and see 'mideast specialists' and so called 'un envoys' come and clearly show that they are merely war monging, racist, two faced SOBs who have redefined terrorism to mean any act of agression done by a Muslim against civilian or military target, whether legitimate or not. I mean, how could someone possibly be looking at the same images as me, of mass graves filled with children and women, entire families murdered at their homes, fathers jumping into the graves of their children to kiss them one last time, and try and come on television and explain to me me that these types of attacks are legitimate?!! This is absolutely maddening!!!

This attack on Lebanon is another Furqan just as Badr was a furqan, and you are clearly seeing a line being drawn between haqq and baatil. People are coming on tv and clearly saying that this is WW3, between judeo christians and radical Islam. Subhan Allah! They are drawing such a clear line, yet we are afraid to even speak out against injustice and obvious atrocities because we are afraid.

This is terrorism!! We should get up and say loud and be heard that we will not put up with such injustice against human life.

I was so angry last night that I made dua to Allah that he give me hidaya from anywhere I could get it, and subhan Allah my Wisdom for the Seeker by Shakyh Zulfiqar Ahmed was sitting on the sofa in the basement right next to me. I said bismillah and opened to a random page and THIS is the letter that I opened to.

Subhan Allah, how great a reminder?!

May Allah destroy those who spread mischief upon the earth
Ya Allah, Ya Qawwiyu ya Azeez! Grant victory to the Mujahideen all over the world!
Ya Allah, you accept the dua of the believer and the dua of the opressed, ya Allah accept my dua and accept the dua of those who are being oppressed in Lebanon...ameen

Faghfirlee, fa innahu laa yaghfirudh dhunuuba illa unt...

2006-07-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

Shaddad ibn Aws narrated the Messenger of Allah PBUH said "The best of istighfar is 'O Allah! You are my Lord, there is no god but You, You created me and I am your slave, and I uphold Your pledge and promise as best as I can. I seek Your protection against the evil that I have done, I acknowledge Your blessing upon me and I acknowledge my sin. So forgive me, for none can forgive sins except for You.' Whosoever says it in the evening with firm conviction and then dies in that night, will enter Paradise" Related by Bukhari

The Good, the Bad, and my big toe

2006-07-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin...

I guess the good news is where I should start my story.

By the grace of Allah swt my sister got engaged to a brother from London this passed weekend, and though there really is no such thing as an 'engagement' in Islam, there such thing as a commitment to get married so before you shoot me with your bida gun you betta recognize foo.

The wedding insha Allah will be in the States so my sis's fiance wanted to throw a party with all his homies there. The party was great, my sis looked beautiful on the sisters side (yes he is also a partitioner like us) and we had a grand ol time.

London is an awesome place, especially East London which reminded me very much of Karachi with all the niqaabis, sunnah beards, masajid and ghetto desi strip malls. Even though it was hella expensive there and really crowded, i could actually see myself living there if the need arose.

The muslims there were stronger, they were an intricate part of the culture of the place and not just some doctors and engineers who make their money and live out on a hill like we are here. Their presence was actually in the streets and they were known. This became obvious to me when i would walk around and the people wouldnt stare at me. Here in the US i walk around anywhere and I get the death stare like im automatically Osama's cuzzin cuz i got a beard and my skin is brown, but there I even saw advertisments for things that had hijabis in it. How gangsta is that!

Oh, and I flew business class on the way back alhumdulillah, to be honest I was not that impressed. I mean, of course you get better food, gangsta chairs that recline like all the way back, but then you got people getting free alcohol and they are no afraid to get drunk as a skunk. I even told the girl seated next to me that I wasnt even going to act like ive been here before or fake like this is how im livin. Im here cuz i got a hookup.

So that pretty much sums up the good part of the trip, lets move to the rest of it...

Now i was supposed to leave to go to London on Thursday, but I ended up staying at the airport all day only to find out that all the flights to the connector in Atlanta were overbooked and I wouldnt get a flight. Problem is I checked my bag already so I didnt know where it was, but was assured by the counter lady that I would reunite with it in London.

So Friday morning I go back to the airport and catch a flight early in the AM to Atlanta alhumdulillah and then get the flight I expected all the way to London. But before the flight to London I ate some Panda express at the airport which gave me some serious acid burn to the extent that I actually felt like I had a fever. I still think it was something wrong with the food since my stomach felt some serious cramping but I just figured it was acid. I ended up taking 2 8hour PM tylenols and just being asleep throughout the flight.

When I get to London I go to the baggage counter only to be told that my bad has not arrived and that it is still stuck in Baltimore. Yes, Baltimore as in my hometown. I am now stuck in London with 1 pair of clothes that im wearing, and a backpack full of books, a phone charger, face wash, and some chappals. Ohhhh yeah this trip was not looking good.

I end up buying a punjabi-ish outfit for the party that night which came equipped with a dupatta which i promptly turned into a turban.

Fastforward through the party.

So im sitting at the computer in the living room of the house we were staying in and I call someone over to check out a video that I saw on googlevideo. As I move over (im on my knees btw) and feel some glass like material on my foot which makes me go 'ouchouchouchouch' until I roll over to see that a push pin had gone almost a quarter inch into the top of my big right toe and bent, lodging itself in the bone of my toe. I could not really understand how something like this happened, and everyone was too busy playing karron board to really be paying attention to my foot except the one I called over to the cpu. I then tried to gently pull the pin out of my foot but it would not budge, it was lodged pretty good. I had to give it a good tug until it finally came out, and with it came a lot of blood. Alhumdulillah the needle didnt break, and the bleeding eventually stopped, and I didnt need a tetnus (sp?) shot since I had gotten one a couple years before when I was playin basketball and got a tooth lodged in my head (long story). To make a long story short, my toe swoll up pretty good and I just lost the knot on the location of the penetration today.

Now came the return flight...

We spent an entire day at the airport in London only to find out that we could not get onto a flight back because there were 40+ people on standby and barely 15 seats available all day. After hours there, we went back home, only to find out that the next day would be even less likely to get a flight, with the lady at Delta telling me and my sis's fiance that flights would freeing up in Mid August. MID AUGUST!!!????

We all then decide that we are going to go on a trip 5 hours away to Manchester where it seems more likely that we might actually get on a plane back home. My sis's fiance books tickets on a double decker coach bus with AC to get us to Manchester, and when we get on the bus it looks like we're gonna have a fun road trip.

Wrong.

5 minutes into driving we notice a burning smell, then a smell of fumes coming from the engine, then we notice that the AC doesnt work and that the engine heat was taking over the bus. I sweat straight through my clothes as did errybody else, until we finally arrived at our destination.

Of course we couldnt just end the story on such a happy ending right?

We get to the airport at 12 midnight and our flight that we wanna catch is at close to 2PM, so we had a lot of time to kill. We sleep in waiting area chairs until we find a musallah where me my future bro in law and his friend end up sleeping. Time goes by, and finally comes time for us to catch our plane. We're on stand by, there are like 12 seats with 15 people listed, which means our priority level determines if we get on or not. They call names, people go, until they call my fam and I up. The guy at the counter tells us that there are 3 seats on this plane and that all 4 of us would not be able to board. My dad decides to be gangsta and try and take the next flight (to NY) which my sis my mom and I get on this one to ATL. We get to ATL only to find out that my dad, who alhumdulillah made the flight to NY, got in from Manchester late and missed the connecter flight back to MD, which meant he had to spend the night at the airport and try and catch the flight to MD in the morning. We have to switch our flight from MD to DC since the MD flight is booked, and we get back home at 12AM Thursday morning alhumdulillah.

My dad ends up getting home this afternoon and by the time i got home from the summer camp he was like sleeping unconscious on the couch (poor guy).

I just got back from the airport which had been keeping my luggage since my departure and subhan Allah they had this huuuuuge letter on it to explain to me what happened cuz they knew id be blown.

So what have I learned from this trip.

1) My sis is so happy its rediculous, and she has a right to be because she deserves it. Her fiance is awesome and I am, for the first time, comfortable (not happy) giving my sister away.

2) London is bananas

3) There is a reason traveling is a tazkiyyah and the dua of a traveler is accepted. Because it is hardship that you endure that you have to endure with no choice, and this patience is a patience of purification from Allah swt.

4) I hate flying

5) Praying on a plane stinks.

May Allah make my sister and her fiance a couple joined together for the sake of Allah, and may Allah swt protect her and him from haram, and allow the marriage to be done quickly and with ease...ameen

London bound insha Allah...

2006-07-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

So I found out today that tomorrow afternoon I will be leaving for London insha Allah.

Please make dua for me and my family, and pray that my journey is safe to and fro.

Salaamu alaykum

One of my Favs...

2006-07-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

Juwayriyyah, ummul mu'mineen, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that once the Messenger of Allah PBUH went out of his apartment when she was offering the Morning Prayer. When he came back in the forenoon she was still sitting there. Observing this he said "I have recited 4 words 3 times after I left you and if these were to be weighted against what you have recited since morning then these would outweigh them: Subhan Allahi wa bihamdihi, 'aadada khalqihee wa ridha nafsihee wa zinaata arshihee wa midaada kalimaati (Glory be to Allah and praise is His (as great as) the number of His creatures, the extent of His satisfaction, the weight of His domain and the ink (needed to write down His countless) signs (of presence, omnipotence and grace)."

Related by Muslim

Qadr Allah wa ma shaa fa'al...

2006-07-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah

Sometimes some people randomly come into your life and you cant even avoid em, like you would not even see them coming yet they just appear into your life, benefit you, and then they make their exit.

Theres that hadith of the mujaddid that is promised to come at the beginning of every hundred years and reattach the muslims to the Quran and Sunnah, and subhan Allah I think each one of us has our own personal mujaddideen (someone check my plurarlization) who come and revive the love for Allah and Muhammed PBUH's way on our own personal level.

You dont even realize it but as you are seeking Allah and searching for the straightest path you find a guide who sometimes doesnt even realize that they are a guide and they take you by your hand and put you on the path your seeking.

I dont know how someone can not believe in the Qadr of Allah when you can just bump into a person like this for what is an insignificant amount of time, their beautiful smell rubs off on you, and you both continue on your own path but you notice as you continue on your path that now you smell of this beautiful smell and benefit from a light that they added to yours helping you to illuminate your path even clearer.

May Allah swt reward these people and make them among those whom He loves...ameen

Rant upon Rant...

2006-07-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ultrasensitivity of a believer

Be very shy and have delicate feelings. Be greatly sensitive to beauty and ugliness; the first pleases you, while the second pains you. Also, be modest without being lowly and meek, or selfproud. If you demand less than what you deserve, you will receive what you deserve.

I remember When I first read that piece of advice from Imam Hassan al Banna I reflected on what exactly was important about sensitivity of our senses. If one is to just raise his head in the street he would not have to look far to see something that would consititute zina of the eye. So other than the fact that this type of use of the eye is considered a sin, what exactly is the harm that this action does to a believer?

Let me give you two extreme examples that can allow you to guage the importance of guarding your eye before I even explain my theories.

1) I remember back in the day I was at a particular conference and there were one of these marriage sessions, where the brothers were seperated from the sisters and all the brothers asked all these questions to the shuyukh about how to get married, what to look for in a wife, etc. One brother stood up, grabbed the mic and asked the shaykh: "Now I know that we are supposed to marry sisters who cover and wear hijab or whatever, but all the sisters who wear hijab are ugly."

2) One of my dear friends studied in Yemen for a long while, and while he was in Yemen I remember him telling me that almost every sister there would wear niqaab. While he was in the company of one of the shuyukh a brother came and asked the shaykh a question. He said to the shaykh that when he went to Hajj, the women obviously are not permitted to wear niqaab so their faces were exposed when they were making tawaaf around the ka'ba. He said that while he was making tawaf he would notice the faces of the women and he could not help but get aroused and so he was asking the shaykh about the acceptance of his tawaf in such a state because he could not help what he was feeling.

Now just reflect on these extremes and try to fathom the difference of sensitivity each person had to the opposite gender.

One person obviously sees nothing but fitna around them and as they see this fitna they cant help but set up standards as to what they want their future wife to look like. There was a study conducted earlier this year in which it was reported that an average woman thinks about her weight every 15 seconds. EVERY 15 SECONDS!! This 'standard' of beauty being setup by the media is a standard that is not even real, most of the actors have had some sort of enhancement done to their face or bodies, are wearing tons of makeup, and if that isnt enough the pictures are airbrushed and manipulated to create this 'perfect' body.

What happens when you go from a room which is dark to a room which is bright with light? Your eyes have to adjust right? But that initial sensitivity to the light is not something that lasts unless you protect your eyes from light again, and then the next time you see the light your eyes will once again have to readjust.

To me this is exactly what happens to people who do not lower their gaze and fall victim to the fitna around us. This desensitization leads to many many evils from thinking that a woman is ugly because she has covered her beauty up from public view, all the way to homosexuality which stems from oversaturation and indulgence of the senses to the point where nothing pleases you anymore and you want to 'experiment' with other curiousities you may have which you hope will quench your desires.

Imagine that in the East people men are having children way into their late fifties, while here in the West men are impotent by then and are getting their doctors to prescribe them drugs that can cure this problem. I have a theory that this is because of the desensitization in this society with regards to the senses being guarded, and this leading to these problems.

The lowering of our gaze is not just a physical lowering of the eyes, but is a state of being.

Constantly talking to the opposite gender and hanging out with them and having casual relationships with them leads to desensitization as well.

Imagine you are a guy who talks to women without guarding yourself with regards to your adab and content of the conversations, you would be desensitized to an extent regarding relationships with the opposite gender and may expect that your wife act a certain way that you are already comfortable with, and if she doesnt you would be dissappointed. This desensitization is extremely dangerous to me because I think many divorces happen because a person was not 'satisfied' with their spouse which comes from a particular definition of 'satisfaction' developed through over-interaction between the genders.

I mean, imagine a man looking at a model constantly and not lowering their gaze; this persons most likely not going to marry a model so then what? He is going to be disappointed in what he has because it isnt what he is used to seeing. While a man who lowers his gaze, and lives in a place where the beauty of a woman is not for public display, this person gets married and is satisfied with whatever Allah swt gives him because his standard of what beauty is is almost non existent other than his family and what he might occassionally notice around him.

Our souls need to be kept in a way that they will be extremely sensitive to beauty and ugliness, the beauty of Allah swt and the ugliness of disobedience.

I had been reflecting on what types of things I hear brothers say they are looking for in a spouse.

1) Someone who wears Hijab
2) Someone who is funny
3) Someone who likes the same things I do
4) Someone who prays 5 times a day
5) Someone who reads Quran all the time

etc

I have been thinking about exactly what it is that I want in a wife which can possibly guarantee the most good in that person. Like, what is it that I can find out about a sister that when I hear it I check off like 75% of what im looking for in a mother for my children.

Now I could marry a hafiza, but that would not safeguard her character as being soft and gentle. I could marry a daughter of a well known scholar of Islam expecting her to have been brought up knowing right from wrong but then what about the son of Nuh PBUH? I could marry one who wears hijab and jilbab and the works but would that safeguard that under all that cloth would be a woman who trembles at the thought of standing before Allah swt naked that Day?

The only thing that can possibly safeguard this is if the sister is devoted to the inner realm of her being, the purification of the heart by means described by the Quran and Sunnah, by focusing on the diseases that her heart contains and trying to estinguise them, she has consciously recognized the futility of action without ikhlas, the riyaa which is wearing hijab while not living it, and the vanity of action without sound knowledge.

Irony...

2006-07-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

I first started working at Sears when I was going into my senior year of high school in the summer of '99. I was in the mens department and I had a pretty fun group of guys who worked with me: Jeff, Matt and Ryan. Jeff was a crazy guy who dreamed of one day becoming a Marine and though I was not really a practicing Muslim, I still had a pretty strong sense of reality and I used to warn him of joining the military of this most corrupt country.

But ive never been a good caller to Islam.

I dont know what it is but ive never successfully brought someone into Islam as hard as ive tried, but truely Allah swt is al Haady and He alone guides to the truth. But though I didnt have the hottest dawah skills, I still used to make clear right from wrong and express my disapproval for things like drugs and such, and I think this used to be my only success in dawah: Making clear a difference between Muslims and Non Muslims in terms of habits, norms, acceptable behavior, etc.

So a couple years back Jeff and I reunite, he comes and searches me out at work, and I find out that he had gone over and fought in Afghanistan. He comes and tells me sad stories of what kind of stuff he had scene and how he was told that when he did return as a civilian that he not tell us of what type of stuff they took part in, but he did anyway. He had no choice but to affirm what I had warned him about earlier, recognizing that it wasnt the brightest idea to join the Marines. As usual we have some talks about stuff he has done that we as muslims dont do, so as he would tell me about his escapades I would nod yet my facial expression would tell him clearly how I really wasnt trying to hear what he was talking about. Then again we lost contact.

Last week I get another call from Jeff.

"Ibrahim!"
"Yeah?"
"This is Jeff from Sears!"
"Wassup Jeff!"
"Dude im chillin..I need you to do me a favor"
"Wassup?"
"I need you to get me a Quran"
"Sure bro, no doubt"

I had my doubts as to exactly why he wanted a mushaf, yet I did my best to get one.

By the will of Allah swt I could not get my hands on a translation Quran in time so I instead got Surah Shu'ara on cd with the translation (a beautiful dawah tool made by my boy Kareem at www.qurannow.com) and I got some Why Islam packets together so that when I met him id give him the whole package.

So I went to his job this past Friday and we talked.

"So Jeff..whats up?"
"Im kind of on a search for my Lord dude"
"Yeah? Exactly what is it that you are looking for?"
"Hapiness. Ive done everyone ive wanted to in my life and I just dont feel happy. Im not content. I want to have a relationship with my Lord, and I knew I should call you."
"You know what Jeff, everyone ive met who has converted to Islam, as different as everyone's story is, they have one thing in common: That the were seeking their Lord, and the thing that seperates Islam from other religions is the fact that Islam establishes a direct connection between you and your Lord without having to go through anything else."
"Yeah man, I just wanna know exactly what it is that the Lord wants from me"

Subhan Allah! This amazing statement affirmed to me that insha Allah this guy is sincere in his search for Allah swt because hes not just looking for some easy way to hapiness, he wants to put in work and find out exactly what it is that ALlah swt wants from him!

"You know Jeff, there is a precise necessity in everything of our being. We need water to survuve, we cant just say we're only gonna drink soda and never drink water and then somehow stay alive. It is precisely water that allows us to live. Just like it is oxygen precisely that we must breath in order to live, the same way there is only one true way to God."

"Yeah, its like i go to church and I ask questions and I dont feel like I get the answer im looking for. I went to a gas station the other day and this Pakistani man starts talking to me about Islam. He says that he is content with what he has, and hes just an oil changer. I want to be content like that!"

" You know Jeff, when you get to the status of having a special relationship with your Lord then you know that everything that happens to you is going to be good for you in one of two ways. 1) there is an immediate good that is gonna happen or 2) there is something good that will come later. So you know that everything that does happen is always gonna be good."

So then we started talking about other stuff and questions he had about just life, and I gave em the cd and pamphlets, giving him one last piece of advice.

"No one prays to God saying 'oh God make me a Christian, or oh God make me a Muslim' what you need to do is stay sincere and say 'Oh God guide me to that which is true, and guide me to you' and you should be fine."

He took the stuff and I told em to call me if he has any questions on the material, but ima call him tomorrow iA and follow up with em to see how hes doing.

Ya Allah! Ya arhamar rahimeen! Ya Haady ya Allah! if Jeff is sincere in seeking the truth then facilitate his search! Make easy for him his path, and if he deserves guidance then guide him by my hands! Ameen Ameen Ameen wa akhiru da'waana anil hamdulillahir rabbil 'alameen...

Retreat Revisited...

2006-06-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

So I think i was half asleep when i published my last post and I left out one really crucial point made in the different sessions over the weekend that I think was extremely beneficial.

'The Struggle to Align the Heart and the Mind' was the theme of the camp, and I think this particular point pretty much sums up the message made throughout the weekend insha Allah.

1) This life is a competition, and this is evident by everything around us and within us. The brother who made this point in his talk used to example of our creation. He went into detail about the biological makeup of the sperm and how hundreds of thousands of them are fighting to be the one that reaches the ovum yet all these obstacles are set up along the way, until finally when all is said and done only 1 is the victor. This competitive nature of creation is also evident in grass as they compete with each other for resources, and trees compete with grass for their resources as well. The speaker went on that the tree drops its leaves on the grass in order to kill it. People say they do it for this reason or that, but they are competing for resources".

This is a sign for mankind as our creation was started with competition and we now should be competing with our brothers and sisters to get a higher maqam with Allah swt.

Imagine that Muhammed PBUH even instructed us to make dua for him after each adhaan that Allah swt grant him al waseelata wal fadheelah, the highest level of al firdausil a'laa which is right under the throne of Allah swt.

Another speaker built upon this point by talking about our ruh. This ruh is described in suratul Baqarah by Allah swt as 'roohi', a rooh from Allah swt. This is our connection with Allah swt as this rooh is what directs us to do good actions and someone who does good continually is feeding their rooh and becoming one who is within the mercy of Allah swt. Imagine that our rooh longs for Allah so much that once a day it leaves us and dissappears in order to facilitate that love for Allah. Every time we sleep our rooh leaves us and that is why when we wake up we say the dua "Alhumdulillahil ladhee ahyanaa ba'da ma amaatana wa ilayhin nushoor", 'Allah praise be to Allah, the one who gave us life after death and to him is the ressurection'.

Another speaker also commented on a similar topic where he stated that someone who has a proper balance of heart and mind, these two become like a trained dog. You tell it to sit, it will sit. You tell it to 'get em', then that dog is gonna get em. Same way when a person does not have their mind and heart in control then these desires become like a pitt bull from the hood that is so out of control, when you see the owner walkin the dog it almost seems like the dog is walking them. The dog will bite anyone it feels like, and will be totally wreckless when it comes to its following desires.

Our heart is put into check through the rememberance of Allah swt, and our mind is put into check through the following of the Quran and Sunnah of Muhammed PBUH.

A speaker made a point that one who has an ego, will then poke their chest out and act in a manner of legislation without wisdom. Someone will come up to such a person and get them fired up and get them to say something that they shouldnt say and bam, they get thrown in jail cuz they didnt use hikmah in their speech and they followed their ego instead of following sound judgement.

I remember having a discussion with a brother once about how some people have so much energy when it comes to the deen when they first are exposed to it's pure form. This energy is the reason why I think many scholars put the first two steps of an Islamic Movement's ideology as 1) Knowledge and 2) Sincerity. This is because sincerity without knowledge is not what is going to save you necessarily. These rookie muslims come into the deen so pumped to follow the 'Quran and Sunnah' that they develop a sort of Intellectual Arrogance. They feel that they have now been rightly guided therefore every opinion must now be derived strictly from Quran and Hadith with no need for a sharh of the hadith or the commentary of a mufassir. We can just look through the books with our Yusuf Ali old english translation which is almost as difficult to understand as the arabic, and understand what the true way of implementing the deen is.

Where is our humility?

In my opinion this type of mentality is what has gotten many youths into the Jihadi movement because they feel that this type of method HAS to be right cuz 1) everyone is against it, and 2) they are raising the banner of Islam in all their videos so they gotta be the chosen ones.

Ignorance of the deen coupled with impatience with establishing the deen the way the Prophet did it has lead to many of our brothers choosing such a path, may Allah guide them to the correct path and make them among the foremost in opposing such a methodology of unbased jihadi theology...ameen.

Truely it is authentic scholarship which will guide us to the true way of getting out of this quick sand, and this method of trusting Islamic scholarship will only come about when the gap is bridged between those who have the daleel (Scholars) and those who seek the daleel, and this will only happen once we stop being arrogant thinking we can figure it all out on our own, and begin understanding that wisdom is not a right but it is a reward from Allah for those who struggle in His Path.

May Allah make us among those whom He loves...ameen

Retreat!!!

2006-06-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

"Nothing is real until it is experienced"

This is what the sign read above the main cabin at the campgrounds of our retreat this past weekend.

Obviously this statement is contradictory to many points in our aqeedah but it definitely had me thinking the entire weekend about exactly what defines 'experience' and what exactly is 'real'.

There is something about driving a distance to a secluded camp site in the woods that just adds a different level of focus that can not be compared to a hotel room at a conference. You are downgrading your normal everyday lifestyle to a subpar standard of living, solely to gain Allah swt's pleasure and to reach a maqam closer to the Most High.

When we arrived to the site Friday we got prepared to pray Maghrib and the ameer of the retreat made a suggestion that definitely set the tone of the retreat. He reminded everyone of the need for khushu' in our salaah and recommended everyone to take a couple of minutes before the salaah started to just reflect on Allah swt silently and to prepare for the salaah as if it is our last. Subhan Allah the silence of the room was extremely tranquil as everyone was focused on the salah to come. One brother later described how he noticed that the ranks were naturally straight and the 'ameen' after surah Fatihah was in such a unison that it seemed as though we timed it perfectly. The brother continued and made the point that many say the uniformity of the 'ameen' after surah fatihah is a rather accurate measurement of the brotherhood in the jamaa'. Everyone was on que and on key, and this seemed to be a sign of good things to come for the weekend.

After Maghrib we made the adhkaar of the evening as was the Sunnah of the Prophet PBUH. It always surprises me how we possibly think we can be close to Allah swt or be on the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammed PBUH when we do not remember Allah in the morning and evening as is instructed in the Quran.

Saturday was scheduled to be a very long day so we went back to our cabins to sleep and energize for the day to come.

After Fajr we all went to the soccor fields and began doing warmup stretches and exercizes. We did this one old football drill we used to do when I played for my high school called Oklahoma's where you jog in place until the leader yells out 'HIT!' upon which you have to hit the floor ASAP doing a pushup and coming back up to your feet and jog. I was made to be the model of how this 'Hit' is supposed to look and of course when I heard the command, I hit the ground so hard that I almost knocked the wind out of my self. Im still feeling the soreness in my ribs.

Next we played the classic game of all camps: Square of death.

There are two teams and a rectangle is split in half evenly. One player from each team must venture across the divide and try to tag one of the players on the other side and get back safely without being tackled by the other team. If the player makes it back safely, then everyone he touched will be out. Our team went down 3 games to nill until I valiantly (and rather fortunately) nominated myself to go and tag the others, ran straight at one of the opposition without hesitating, and dragged ~4 of them on my back across the line mashallah. This energized my team to win the next 4 games until we finally tied in the 8th. Was probably the best game of SOD ive ever played, and I got the bruises and cuts to prove it.

Now let me skip forward a bit because I am boring myself with all the nitpicky details...

I was in charge of setting up the entertainment portion of the retreat and I got a bunch of bros/sisters from the camp to perform nasheeds/poetry, etc but I unfortunately had to miss the event as I had a wedding to go to.

***TANGENT ALERT!!!***

The wedding was for the only sister in our circle of family friends (other than my sis) who grew up with us and who I have known since day as far back as I can remember.

I could not help but feel weird when we went over to the girls side to take pics when I noticed her decked out in dulhan gear. She was really getting married! I remember playing basketball with her and playin video games, and now she was getting married. Her mother and aunts were all emotional during the ruksati and I couldnt help but look at their faces and remember them 15+ years ago when we are all little rugrats causing mad trouble.

Truely time is ever ticking...

***TANGENT OWWER***

I got back to the campsite after fajr Sunday and when I got there I noticed that the mood of the camp had definitely changed since id left. After the entertainment session there was a campfire during which some reflective activites had taken place and these activities really seemed to be affective as I noticed something in the air when we had breakfast, an even stronger sense of brotherhood than before.

At the end of the camp we had our normal conclusion which entails the brothers making a circle with the brothers and the sisters with themselves respectively, and going around to each person and allowing them to reflect on something they benefited from during the weekend.

Subhan Allah, the most profound thing I heard was probably something that the kid did not even consider profound, yet it really summarized what retreats and halaqaat are for us. The kid made an analogy between the retreat and playing tag. He said that when you play tag you are being chased by someone, and you have to try and avoid them and you do everything you can to not get caught, and then there is a base. When you get to base its safety for a certain amount of time like 10 or 15 seconds, and then you have to go out and run away from the tagger again. He said that retreats and halaqaat are like base for him for when Shaytaan is chasing him cuz he knows he is safe there, and then after this time runs out he has to go back to reality of avoiding the tagger.

I always told everyone who ever asked about my intentions when I go to things like retreats and conferences, that my number one intention is to network with the brothers. At retreats it never fails that I develop a genuine love for a brother for the sake of Allah, simply by being around them and noticing their demeanor. As the ameer of the retreat put it, I just hope that at events like this, people that I meet only once at this retreat and then never see again, I see them on the day of Judgement under the shade of Allah swt when there is no shade but his, and I am honored with this shade because of the love that we shared for the sake of Allah swt at the retreat.

May Allah make us among those whom He loves...ameen

GQ...

2006-06-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

So im 23 years old now, and I was looking in my closet and realized that if some stranger were to come to my crib and go through my gear they would think some 19 year old thugged out dude lives here.

But thats not me anymore.

I dont listen to music anymore, I dont hang out with knuckle heads and im not 19. Im supposed to be graduating college and getting into the real world and I think its about time I dress like it.

I mean, dont get me wrong, white tees and timbs will be my casual gear for life inshallah, but I cant be goin out to restaurants with my homies (who are older pimp dressin dudes mashallah) wearin my thug gear.

So i had been lookin at a bunch of gear at different places and my Allah is it hard to be GQ and not be gay. Its like every shirt is cut to be tight on your body and every pair of pants looks almost like I would not be permitted to pray in em. Not to mention being GQ is not cheap by any means.

So I went to Hechts and they definitely were short on clothes of my taste. Who da hell wears linen shirts? I aint tryin to look like a freakin curtain!

So I remember overhearing one of my more pimp dressing homies talk about Express for Men and I laughed at first, not knowing that Express actually made mens clothes, but I heard they opened a store in our mall so I figured id check em out.

As soon as I walked in I saw the shirts i was gonna buy. Pin striped collar button downs of different colors that I could wear on Jeans or Dressy pants.

To make a long story short, I spent a bar on 3 shirts and a pair of pants, and got some Aqua Digio cologne to smell pretty too.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I have officially changed my steelo...

Suratul Qiyamah

2006-06-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

1. I do call to witness the Resurrection Day;

2. And I do call to witness (an nafsal lawwaama) the self-reproaching spirit: (Eschew Evil).

3. Does man think that We cannot assemble his bones?

4. Nay, We are able to put together in perfect order the very tips of his fingers. (29 secs)

5. But man wishes to do wrong (even) in the time in front of him.

6. He questions: "When is the Day of Resurrection?"

7. At length, when the sight is dazed,

8. And the moon is buried in darkness.

9. And the sun and moon are joined together,-

10. That Day will Man say: "Where is the refuge?" (49 secs)

11. By no means! No place of safety! (54 secs)

12. Before thy Lord (alone), that Day will be the place of rest. (56 secs)

13. That Day will Man be told (all) that he put forward, and all that he put back.

14. Nay, man will be evidence against himself, (1 min 8 secs)

15. Even though he were to put up his excuses.

16. Move not thy tongue concerning the (Qur'an) to make haste therewith.

17. It is for Us to collect it and to promulgate it:

18. But when We have promulgated it, follow thou its recital (as promulgated):

19. Nay more, it is for Us to explain it (and make it clear):

20. Nay, (ye men!) but ye love the fleeting life, (1 min 34 secs)

21. And leave alone the Hereafter.

22. Some faces, that Day, will beam (in brightness and beauty);-

23. Looking towards their Lord; (1 min 45 secs)

24. And some faces, that Day, will be sad and dismal,

25. In the thought that some back-breaking calamity was about to be inflicted on them;

26. Yea, when (the soul) reaches to the collar-bone (in its exit), (1 min 58 secs)

27. And there will be a cry, "Who is a magician (to restore him)?"

28. And he will conclude that it was (the Time) of Parting;

29. And one leg will be joined with another:

30. That Day the Drive will be (all) to thy Lord!

31. So he gave nothing in charity, nor did he pray!- (3 min 50 secs)

32. But on the contrary, he rejected Truth and turned away!

33. Then did he stalk to his family in full conceit!

34. Woe to thee, (O men!), yea, woe! (4 mins 11 secs)

35. Again, Woe to thee, (O men!), yea, woe!

36. Does man think that he will be left uncontrolled, (without purpose)? (4 mins 19 secs)

37. Was he not a drop of sperm emitted (in lowly form)?

38. Then did he become a leech-like clot; then did ((Allah)) make and fashion (him) in due proportion.

39. And of him He made two sexes, male and female.

40. Has not He, (the same), the power to give life to the dead? (5 mins 5 secs)

Picnicakkk

2006-06-18T21:43:00.000-07:00

Is there anything better than a masjid picnic on a beautiful summer day?

Just to hear the sound of happy children laughing and playing is enough to make me happy.

Water balloon fights, dunk tank, Jousting, face painting, cotton candy, bbq, basketball, masjid packed so much that people had to pray in the library.

These types of events just define what summer is.

Drug Dealer...

2006-06-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Working at the pharmacy has really made me depressed.

Birth Control
Ambien
Wellbutrin
Percocet/Vicodin
Viagra
Lunesta
Adderal/Ritalin
Plan B
Valtrex

What is wrong with this society?

People are so drugged up its not even funny, yet they dont care to change their lifestyles. Theyd rather take a pill that would make the symptoms go away, and continue on doing what theyre doing.

What is the difference between a crackhead in the ghetto who is buying an illegal drug from a dealer on a corner, and a rich business man who gets his doctor friend to write him prescriptions for pain killers every month, gets a legitimiate pharmacy to fill the script, and then has his insurance cover most of it as he pays a copay for his fix.

Is the latter somehow better than the former because he went through the system to get a legal high while the other dude is doing something 'illegal'?

This society needs Islam.

It seems like 1 out of every 5 people I help is getting either a depression medication or something that can let them sleep at night. These are not just people in a social low class or something, im talking doctors lawyers and the like. People who come into my line looking like they got it made, can not even get by without taking something to ease their pain.

If they had ALlah swt in their lives there would be no way that they would have these problems.

Then I get young girls who come in to get their birth control, then older girls come in and get valtrex and depression medication. Its almost like i see these girls starting off on one level and then getting into this cycle.

Its making me sick.

May Allah protect us from such a life where we depend on medication to get us through the day...ameen

Wallahi...

2006-06-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

This Dunya is absolutely nothing.

You think that you see something which will please you, it will not.

You see something difficult to leave, leave it and it will be replaced by something better.

Let it Go.
Let it Go.
Let it Go.

Close your eyes...take a deep breath in...exhale.

That breath that you just took will never come back.

How did you use that breath?

Did you use it to remember Allah?
Did it benefit you in the least bit?
Will you see that breath on your scale in the hearafter?

Really, what is it about this place that hypnotizes us??!! It is absolutely nothing! If this lowly and temporary pleasure pleases you, then just imagine Jannah: A place MADE TO PLEASE YOU!!!

The word Dunya itself comes from the word that means lowest. This place is not even made to please us yet it does, imagine the pleasure of the place made strictly to please those who Believe.

Oh brothers and sisters. This life is short. Consider it 5 stages.

1) Birth and Development
2) Education
3) Establishment
4) Fruits of Establishment
5) Death

Today you are in one bubble, tomorrow you will be in another.

Yesterday we were children, today we are adults, and tomorrow we will be in our graves.

Take heed to my advice.

Repent. Make Dhikr. Increase in extra worship. Let go of this world.

Rollercoaster...

2006-06-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

What a day...

The day started out with news that Zarqawi was killed in Iraq. Obviously his methodology to expunge the lands of Iraq of these occupation was a methodology that I dont agree with nor condone. The rules of warfare in Islamic Law clearly disallow terrorism as a means of Jihad, period.

But then why am I sad?

As a muslim we know that our message is that of mercy and compassion to all that exists: Humans, animals, plants, land, everything. It is our responsibility as Muslims to love for our brother what we love for ourselves.

So why would I love to see my brother in Islam have 2 500 pound bombs dropped on his head?

No matter what sin this brother commits he is still my brother and it is my responsibility to do whatever I can possibly do to get him to stop what he is doing. For me to cheer and rejoice that he was killed is absolutely unacceptable. We should be saddened that this brother of ours chose this methodology and (to our knowledge) was killed on such a path.

Do we not know the story of the man who killed 99 men, and then sought out Allah's Mercy and Forgiveness! Do you not know that on his search for this forgiveness he killed another servant of Allah because he told him he could not be forgiven for his sins? Do we not know that this murderer died on his way to seek maghfiraah and was accepted into Jannah because of his striving to seek Allah's pleasure?

How could we be happy that our brother in Islam was killed doing something that could land him in Jahannum wa naudhubillah? Where is our brotherhood?

Do we wish to please Allah or do we wish to please the kuffar?

If we wish to please Allah then we pray that Allah swt guides our brothers to the right path, forgives them their sins, and grants them Jannah because has hideously dispicable the crime of terrorism is, we should not wish hellfire on our brothers. We should wish that Allah accepts whatever they have put forward in good and allows them to be within His Mercy.

A continuation...

2006-06-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah...

The NY Rep made a post that included things in it that I was wanting to post about for about a week now, and I just didnt know how I wanted to tackle the particular thoughts I wished to express.

Then I read the post and it almost felt as if I wrote it since it covered much of what I was wanting to talk about.

Muhammed PBUH used to make dua to Allah swt that He swt protect our Nabi from a sudden death. I remember reading about that and I reflected on how hadhrat A'isha ra and the other wives of the Prophet PBUH, how bibi Faatima ra, how Abu Bakr Umar Uthman and Ali ra along with the other ashaab would have reacted had the Prophet PBUH died suddenly without any signs of his imminent death.

How terrible a thing that would be?

It would feel like it was dawn and you are expecting the sun to be there to brighten up the path which you have intended to take and that sun never came out, and you are left in the dark. Not just that, but it would feel as though you are already on a path following a guide and the guide suddenly disappears and you have no idea where to go since you have not prepared yourself to a point where you are self sufficient to guide yourself.

How lonely a feeling!

The pain of a sudden death is something I pray Allah protects me and you from, as I know that I would not want anyone in my fam or immediate circle of beloved brothers and sisters to die unexpectedly as this might devestate me.

But truely it was my going through the pain of a sudden death of this type that brought me to recognize the importance of every second of every day.

I remember I was asked to give a halaqa at a local masjid last year dealing with the rememberance of death. It was for the youth and these particular youth were some 'thuggs' who seemed very rough and tough. Yet I narrated this very story of what it was that awakened me and opened my eyes to the importance of our purpose on earth, and we all sat together and cried.

Many do not know this, but the Gandaghee project was manifested during a qiyam we had during Ramadan. One of the guys called Aatif and I and told us that his boys were not using Ramadan to remember Allah swt, and that he really didnt know what to do. He felt really depressed about it to the point where he was going to just leave these dudes and not come back, so we told him to come and hang with us. After hanging for a while we prayed and wrote a script prayed and then wrote another script, until finally we decided to go VA where those guys were and just Tableeki Jamaat style turn their place into a qiyam. The bro who was concerned asked me to lead salaah and give a short talk. I ended up talking about this very thing as well and the importance of good friendship. Again, it hit home to these kids and they recognized the importance of using each second of Ramadan wisely as you never know when your gonna go. Everyone knows they have to, but when you hear a real life story dealing with something like this then you can almost put your self in the position and internalize the pain suffered by another.

My clique of homies back in high school was not necessarily the type of guys who had a good influence on me. We used to go out and do dumb stuff, and the year I graduated we had gotten cars and we would drive around Bmore city and act a fool. We became a really really tight crew and you almost bet that any given night I was with these dudes doin it up.

Summer of 2000, I graduated High School and was on top of the world. I was driving back from somewhere I shouldnt have been, chillin with people I dont hang with anymore, and im driving my van. Im followin my boy cuz we're goin to DC from Bmore and I dont know how to get onto the highway and he is drivin like a maniac. I am tryin to keep up, and i dont notice the guy in front of me hit the breaks. I am certain ima hit em so I swerve to the left and skid. A car hits me from behind forcing me to hit the car in front of me and I swerve across the oncomming traffic. Allah decrees that there are cars coming across and so I swerve straight into the curb on the opposite side of the road. Im going so fast that I hit the curb, go airborn, and land in the grass beyond the curb. I wasnt wearing any seatbelt but I managed to hold on to the arm rest keeping myself from hitting the winshield.

I had never felt such a feeling of helplessness in my life.

When my car skid I had no control over anything that was going on, and it was clear to me that what Allah swt decreed was going to happen right then, and Allah swt had it written that I would come out unscathed. This was just the start of my summer car crash experiences that year.

So a week later I went to Houston to chill with my bro for a couple of weeks (he was living out there back then) and before I left I hung out with em one last time. A few days into my vacation I get a phone call like 8AM. Its one of my boys telling me that my homies who I hung out with so often had gotten into a serious car accident.

Driving was my boy Ade, shotgun was his cuzzin Waliy Rabb (Muslim), back left to right was Etiene, Varny, and Reese. At around 3AM Ade was going 120 MPH around a tight turn and he had been drinking. He ran straight into a tree, had no seat belt on so he flew straight through the winshield and died instantly. Waliy didnt have his seatbelt on either and his head hit the dash board so hard that his face was literally stuck to it. They had to cut his face off in order to get him out. Etiene had a huge gash in his neck and fractured his skull, Varny had numerous internal injuries to his organs and the impact knocked his teeth out, while Reese walked away from the crash nearly unharmed.

This devastated me.

Surely Allah swt protected me from this accident by placing me in Houston that day, because there was a 95% chance that if I was home, I woulda been with these dudes.

So by the time I get back, Ade had been buried (many of my friends were angry with me because I wasnt at the funeral until they found out I was out of town) Varny and Etiene had surgeries done and they were no longer critical, yet Waliy, the only Muslim in the crew other than me, was in a coma. His head had swollen up so big that you could not even recognize him and they did not think he was going to make it.

Now Waliy was Muslim, but did not know the smallest thing about the deen. He knew he was muslim because his father, who was in prison doing a long term bid, was muslim. I used to give em a little dawah but nothing super serious cuz obviously I wasnt really practicing my self.

As soon as I got back my dad and I went to visit him at Shock Trauma yet we got there too late to get in. Then we went again a few weeks later and found out that he had just been transferred to a NJ hospital closer to his family.

At this point I am so blown that I didnt get to see him, yet I continue treading through my life.

A few months go by and I get word that he has gotten out of the coma and is in a rehab facility in Jersey. Im thrilled, but still just moving with my life not thinking about reaching out to him or anything, thinking that he probably doesnt even remember me after all the brain damage.

About a year and some months go by, and my sister (who was still in high school) tells me that Waliy just moved back in town and is finishing up his school at the old high school. He was in a wheel chair and the brain damage had left him mentally challenged to a degree.

For some selfish reason I still didnt seek him out, probably because I felt guilty about not getting to see him when he was sick.

But one Jummah, after salaah I turn around and he is there! I could not believe it. I went to say salaams but it was so busy that by the time I got to the back he was already gone.

Apparently he had talked to one of his teachers, who was a muslimah, and told her that his iman was really low. He was really concerned about it so she had her husband hang out with him in order to get his spirits back up. He had brought him to jummah that day.

The next week I went to pick my sis up from school and I see him out front of the school. I jump outta the car thinking that this kid probably isnt even gonna recognize me yet he slowly is like 'heyy....my...man....ib..bu...whats goin on man?'

He said he needed a ride home and we talked on our way to his house. As he got out of the car I asked em if I would see em at Jummah that week. Slowly he responded in the negative, telling me that he had a surgery scheduled for his eye and that he wouldnt be able to make it. He told us to pray for him, and he left.

That weekend I find out that he died from complications in the surgery for his eye.

This was the final crack in my foundation of materialistic worldly existence and broke me out of the cocoon that formed over my being and the callus on top of my heart.

This kid knew NOTHING about this deen, absolutely minimal understanding of Islam yet he knew that Islam was the truth. His father had been in prison his entire life, and his mother wasnt Muslim, yet he maintained his identity. Then after all this pain and suffering in this dunya. He went from a kid who carried around a hair brush in school brushing his waves in between classes, to someone with a reconstructed face. After all this, as soon as he got his senses back the first thought he had was Allah swt. His relationship with Allah swt had deteriorated and he wanted that relationship to get stronger, and he sought out the means to mend the relationship when he did not even have legs that worked properly!! He wheeled his way to his teacher and he walkered his self to Jummah, and he died insha ALlah with Iman in his heart.

What will I say to Allah swt that day when Allah swt asks me why I did not reach out to Waliy and give him more dawah. I was blessed with a family who was all muslim who practiced Islam and had a culture of Islam yet I did not even try to bring him closer to Allah swt. Instead we shared in ignorance and I lowered myself knowing that I shouldnt, while he knew no better.

This guilt is something that fuels me till today as most certainly I will be held accountable for my heedlessness. I pray that Waliy forgives me for such selfishness, and that Allah swt judges me with His Mercy and not His Justice...ameen

How many of us have anything even CLOSE to this type of adversity in our lives?

How many of us fold after a minor bump in the road, angry with Allah swt, al Ghaniyyul Hameed, because He swt allowed us to go through such an insignificant harship?

The pain of a sudden death is most definitely a pain that none of us want to endure, but death is certain. Death is certain and life is not, so how can we possibly live for that which is not certain and ignore that which is most definitely on its way?

Allah is Truth, His Mercy is Truth, His Love is Truth, His Jannah is Truth, and His Jahannam is Truth. Ya Allah make us among those whom you love! Ya Allah make our good deeds heavy on the scales and make our bad deeds lighter than a feather that Day! Ya Allah make our paths blessed paths which end in Your Paradise!

Ya Allah accept Waliy's good deeds and erase all of his evil deeds! Ya Allah make his record honored and make him one of the siddeeqeen! Ya Allah make Waliy's grave an expansive garden of Paradise!!

Ameen.

Beard steez...

2006-06-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

Before

After

So I was at my boys house a couple days back, and he was imploring me to allow him to trim my beard. I was like helll nawwww cuz first of all, I cut my own hair, and second of all, I was growing it out fist length sunnah style so I didnt wanna bother its natural progression.

But he proposed a design to me of fading in the sides (since the sides had been growing at a faster rate than the bottom) and not touching the bottom as to maintain the fist.

I took his idea, went home, and decided that I would give it a shot. I had no idea that there was THAT much hair on da sides!!

I took the first pic that night, and it turned out to be rather gangsta so i made it my celly's wallpaper. I was at a dawat at Aatif's cuzzin's crib and all the aunties were there. Obviously they are gonna as me how Aatif is engaged and im still single.

Aatif's mom swore she had someone for me already as did his aunts, telling me that I need to be moving on rishta stuff. So I showed em the pic and told em I wasnt getting any girls calling back after showing em my rishta pic. They all were scared when they saw the pic LOL.

The pics look like 2 different people almost, but khayr, I think I still maintained the integrity of the beard, and now when it grows longer it'll really grow in fist length status cuz I didnt touch the bottom at all.

Shout out to all my bearded bros out there! Sisters think wearin a hijab is hard, try having a beard and tell me how easy it is to maintain!

PS: Would you be my friend if I really smiled like that?

Pooetry

2006-06-02T23:28:00.000-07:00

Heres a start to a poem im working on. Tell me what you think...

O you endowed with beauty
Are you to be sought for that over which you have no control?
Or is it your heart upon which the seeker should lay their gaze?
Truely training is evident upon tissue
Thus its strength is manifest
And surely the cultivation of the heart is manifest
On the face of the believer
No worldly beauty
can compare to His Light

What is there other than the heart, good manners, and mutual consultation?

2006-05-30T20:46:00.001-07:00

I have been reading The Muslim Mind on Trial by Abdessalam Yassine and Wallahi I recommend this book to each and every Muslim with a brain. It raises some questions that are essential for us to answer as we move forward in our movements and as the world progresses.

We think that all these problems around us and all this strife, toil and trouble that the Muslim world is going through right now is independant from our own internal state when this chaos is merely an extension of the chaos going on within us.

The key to success is purification, and the goal of purification is perfection of manners, and the results of perfect manners is brotherhood and dawah, and the benefit of brotherhood and dawah is a pure community of justice and ihsan, whose benefit will be shone throughout the world.

Our benefit to mankind is that of being advanced in our manners and justice, as well as our grounding in the sciences of this world.

To try and establish an 'Islamic state' by merely enacting the rules and regulations of the deen, and then setting up the punishment systems for those who break these rules, is like establishing a hollow pillar. This pillar will look strong and will seem to be able to withstand a great amount of weight upon it, but the minute it feels some weight it will crumble and its hollow center will be made evident.

Who are we and what is our purpose?

Is our purpose to establish Allah swt's law in the land? Is that our ultimate goal?

The establishment of the law of Allah on the land should be an extention of the establishment of the love of Allah in our hearts, and the ihsaan in our worship should be reflected with ihsaan in our conduct with our muslim bretheren as well as the non muslim.

The level of Ihsaan in our worship is a high level which takes time, effort and struggle. Unfortunately something ive noticed is that some people have taken this level of Ihsaan and turned it into a worldly pleasure worthy of being sought in order to achieve some 'spiritual high' which will be extacy on earth.

How can we take such a beautiful thing such as closeness to Allah swt and belittle it to just merely a worldly pleasure?

Our intention should be to get so close to Allah swt that He swt turns our selves into His Tools, and of course this maqam will return a feeling too overwhelming to even describe.

But then there are people who are taking means outside of the sharia in order to gain this pleasure, and this is why I think this science has gotten such a horrible stigma attached to it.

May Allah make us among those whom He loves.

Its Official: Summer time has begun...

2006-05-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

A summer has not truely begun until the first dive into the swimming pool, and I must say that the water was miiiiiiiiiiighty cold.

Summer Break Zindabaad!!!

Bonus Mallo...

2006-05-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

Love.

Newest Desktop Pic...

2006-05-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Maryam AKA Yams AKA Mallo Ali Khan AKA Ultee Monster AKA MallayMallay AKA Poopadoop AKA Thugg Jr givin the camera the peace sign. Im so proud.

Summer Reading...

2006-05-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

So I went to Islamic Bookstore (www.islamicbookstore.com) and picked up my reads for the summer. I usually get books that deal with hard concepts that I hear about all the time, but this time I figured id get books I would normally get plus others about stuff that I know little about so that I can broaden my horizons and gain knowledge bout stuff from the source instead of hearing about it from others.

The Divine Names and Attributes - al Bayhaqi
The Muslim Mind on Trial: Divine Revelation vs Secular Rationalism - Abdessalam Yassine
Return of the Pharaoh: Memoir in Nasir's Prison - Zainab al Ghazzali
Medicine of the Prophet - as Suyuti
Wisdom for the Seeker - Zulfiqar Ahmad
Deliverance from Error - Imam al Ghazzali
The Clear Criterion for Distinguishing between Islam and Godlessness - al Ghazzali *
The Infamies of the Batinies and the Virtues of the Mustazhirites - al Ghazzali *
The Correct Balance - al Ghazzali *
The Noblest of Aims in the Explanation of God's Fairest Names - al Ghazzali *
The Book of the Marvels of the Heart - al Ghazzali *
Necklaces of Gems: Biography of Abdul Qadir al Jilani - Muhammed ibn Yahya

* Came packaged with Deliverance from Error

I also picked up another dear beloved son by Imam Ghazzali to give to someone as a gift.

I hope I get these joints finished this summer cuz I most certainly got a gangsta deal on em.

Deficiencies...

2006-05-19T23:29:00.000-07:00

So alhumdulillah the semester has finally come to an end.

This has to be the slackerest of slacker semesters in the history of slackerdom. I mean, I did nothing at all. I could have taken like 3 more classes and still had time to do homework and stuff cuz I didnt do anything until the last second. I can not allow myself to have another semester like this, cuz I cant afford to anymore.

So now that the semester is over, I finally have enough time to rant about what has been eating me up inside for the past month.

I need to develop thicker skin.

I have this OCD type of behavior when it comes to my being liked by anyone and everyone I come in contact with. I want everyone to love me and this is the only way I will feel comfortable. If someone has a problem with me, I tend to do anything I can to try and fix myself so that the person does not have any ill feeling towards me.

This was evident when we first made Gandaghee and premiered it at ISNA 2 summers ago.

After showing it, these two brothers walked up to the table where we were selling the DVDs outside the main hall, and made a scene. I was just walking by and my boy was selling the movies, and I saw the brothers pick up a copy and throw it down on the table.

"You all are worse than the kuffar!!! You are taking Islam and making fun of it! You need to burn all of these!!!"

I was utterly shocked.

I could not believe that my intentions would be questioned to such a degree that I would be grouped in a category worse than those who dont even believe in Allah. My boy who was selling the DVDs started to get a bit annoyed and started saying stuff back to them, but I just asked to guys to step aside and talk to me. I implored them to have a discussion with me about what they saw as problematic to such a degree, yet they refused and walked off.

Now you would think that me asking them to talk to me would have consoled me a bit, but it didnt. I then asked another brother to go find those brothers and find out who they are and to talk to em, and the brother did and came back to me saying that they had a convo with him and they almost retracted their statement. This was good enough to make me feel a bit better.

So what now?

I was playin basketball at the local masjid and I was guarding this young lookin kid who I didnt know. During the game its my habit to make ta'aaruf (getting to know?) with the peeps and I started a convo with the kid. Come to find out that he goes to my uni! Im in shock so I ask em if he comes to any MSA events cuz I never see him. He responds in the negative, and when I ask why not, he responds: Because the MSA is a bit fundi[mentalist].

"Fundi? Dude...Im the freakin president!"

Upon hearing this revelation the brother kinda looked embarrassed and the game continued. I didnt pay his comment any mind at the time, but then I began thinking about it.

"Do people think I am an extremist? Do I come off as an arrogant fundementalist who looks so intolerant to others who may be at different levels of Iman that people dont even wanna come around?"

I put that thought on the back burner and continued through the semester until, this time in a few less words, I was again implicated to be intolerant, unyielding and rigid in my interpretation of this deen and our practice of it in the daily life.

This really hurt me.

I try so hard to look at my heart in the mirror and to find my faults, and I try and rectify them, and Wallahi I have alot of faults and I am extremely hard on myself about them as to trying to straighten them all out. So when someone tells me something that I need to work on, then I take the naseehah with gratefulness cuz I indeed was looking at the same deficiency that had just been pointed out and I was in the process of fixing it.

But when I get blindsided by an accusation of sorts, a blanket label and characterization which I deed not foresee, then it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I really take to heart any criticizm that I recieve which I did not see coming, and this time was no different. I began doing some soul searching and 3rd person-ish investigations if you will, where I was analyzing my interaction with others in my life.

I know that the Prophet PBUH did not go around waving a stick at the Sahabah ra, beating them over the head with it to adjust them and redirect them onto the straight path, and this was the Prophet PBUH!! The one person who would have the right to be harsh, yet he was but a mercy to mankind and he proved it with his humble behavior PBUH.

Some may feel that now that they are into the deen, and are trying to straighten themselves out, that they now have the duty of pulling out the nahee the munkar police badge being the mutawwa' of the household and of the MSA and of the workplace. This is not dawah! This takes people away from the deen most of the time, ESPECIALLY with the household.

How could you possibly think you will 'discipline' your wife through harshness and supervision of all of her actions? Muhammed PBUH told us for a reason that women are delicate creatures which require gentleness, mildness and tenderness, and that a riteous wife is the greatest of all provision in this world. How could we treat such a gift with harshness? You must become the closest companion of your spouse and the greatest comfort for your spouse and the greatest confidant of your spouse if you want to develop a relationship of mutual growth and development of iman. You cant expect to force it upon her, that is just not going to work.

So since I was concerned with my own actions being not what they seemed to me, and because it was concievable to me that I had created a bubble around myself where I didnt really know how I was acting, I went to work and I asked em if I was forceful in my dawah or harsh to them in any way.

Then I asked my MSA friends who are around me most of the day and they also responded with the negatory response like my coworkers.

Finally I asked the one person I am around all the time and the one who is the beneficiary of anything Islamic that I know: My sis, and she responded with such a beautiful response.

She first laughed and gave me a kiss followed by an awww since I was really blown at being seen as something that I hope that im not. Then she told me that it should not matter what someone else thinks, especially someone who doesnt really know me. I should just pay it no attention, and that I shouldnt try and validate myself by trying to please everyone who may have a problem with me.

Cuz its obvious that if I was intolerant and rigid of things, then surely I wouldnt live in my home under my current conditions, I wouldnt have retained my old friends despite our differences in what we consider 'fun', and I would have been told my those close to me of my forceful nature before someone who doesnt even know me would assess me as indignant.

So what I have I learned?

1) I have alot of diseases in my heart
2) I need to develop thicker skin when it comes to criticizm from outsiders because I can not expect to be liked by everyone.
3) My sister is whom I can ask if I need to know what my deficiencies are. She knows me better than anyone

I want to also make clear that in no way am I bragging or anything like that. I have serious issues that I deal with day in and day out. I dealt with rigidness in the deen and some brothers who set for me the perfect example of balance of ikhlaaq and dawah showed me how to properly act. But what im saying is that you need to be a self accusing soul who constantly asks itself what its doing, where its going, and how its acting. This will result in knowing yourself in depth, and knowing your weaknesses and identifying them. My weaknesses are a plenty and I pray that Allah swt cleanses me of the diseases which occupy my heart. Just because this particular thing is not an issue that I have iA, does not mean that I dont have other really detrimental issues that I need to resolve if I wish to be in the Grace of ar Raheem.

Chapter 57 - The Iron...

2006-05-19T04:11:00.000-07:00

Do follow along with the meaning as you listen to the recitation as to not take this as entertainment, but as the word of Allah swt which is meant to guide us and to fix our deficiencies. I have put time markers on the ayahs that move me the most and I pray that they do the same for you as well...

1. Whatever is in the heavens and on earth,- let it declare the Praises and Glory of Allah. for He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.

2. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: It is He Who gives Life and Death; and He has Power over all things.

3. He is the First and the Last, the Evident and the Immanent: and He has full knowledge of all things.

4. He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in Six Days, and is moreover firmly established on the Throne (of Authority). He knows what enters within the earth and what comes forth out of it, what comes down from heaven and what mounts up to it. And He is with you wheresoever ye may be. And Allah sees well all that ye do.

5. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth: and all affairs are referred back to Allah.

6. He merges Night into Day, and He merges Day into Night; and He has full knowledge of the secrets of (all) hearts.

7. Believe in Allah and His apostle, and spend (in charity) out of the (substance) whereof He has made you heirs. For, those of you who believe and spend (in charity),- for them is a great Reward.

8. What cause have ye why ye should not believe in Allah.- and the Messenger invites you to believe in your Lord, and has indeed taken your Covenant, if ye are men of Faith.

9. He is the One Who sends to His Servant Manifest Signs, that He may lead you from the depths of Darkness into the Light and verily Allah is to you most kind and Merciful.

10.(2min 11sec) And what cause have ye why ye should not spend in the cause of Allah.- For to Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth. Not equal among you are those who spent (freely) and fought, before the Victory, (with those who did so later). Those are higher in rank than those who spent (freely) and fought afterwards. But to all has Allah promised a goodly (reward). And Allah is well acquainted with all that ye do.

11. Who is he that will Loan to Allah a beautiful loan? for ((Allah)) will increase it manifold to his credit, and he will have (besides) a liberal Reward.

12. (3min 11 sec) One Day shalt thou see the believing men and the believing women- how their Light runs forward before them and by their right hands: (their greeting will be): "Good News for you this Day! Gardens beneath which flow rivers! to dwell therein for aye! This is indeed the highest Achievement!"

13. One Day will the Hypocrites- men and women - say to the Believers: "Wait for us! Let us borrow (a Light) from your Light!" It will be said: "Turn ye back to your rear! then seek a Light (where ye can)!(4 min 5 sec) So a wall will be put up betwixt them, with a gate therein. Within it will be Mercy throughout, and without it, all alongside, will be (Wrath and) Punishment!

14. (Those without) will call out, "Were we not with you?" (The others) will reply, (5 min 5 sec) "True! but ye led yourselves into temptation; ye looked forward (to our ruin); ye doubted ((Allah)'s Promise); and (your false) desires deceived you; until there issued the Command of Allah. And the Deceiver deceived you in respect of Allah.

15. "( 5 min 30 sec)This Day shall no ransom be accepted of you, nor of those who rejected Allah." Your abode is the Fire: that is the proper place to claim you: and an evil refuge it is!"

16. (6 min) Has not the Time arrived for the Believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed (to them), and that they should not become like those to whom was given Revelation aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.

17. Know ye (all) that Allah giveth life to the earth after its death! already have We shown the Signs plainly to you, that ye may learn wisdom.

18. For those who give in Charity, men and women, and loan to Allah a Beautiful Loan, it shall be increased manifold (to their credit), and they shall have (besides) a liberal reward.

19.(7 min 40 sec) And those who believe in Allah and His apostles- they are the Sincere (lovers of Truth), and the witnesses (who testify), in the eyes of their Lord: They shall have their Reward and their Light. But those who reject Allah and deny Our Signs,- they are the Companions of Hell-Fire.

20. (8 min 28 sec) Know ye (all), that the life of this world is but play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting and multiplying, (in rivalry) among yourselves, riches and children. Here is a similitude: How rain and the growth which it brings forth, delight (the hearts of) the tillers; soon it withers; thou wilt see it grow yellow; then it becomes dry and crumbles away. But in the Hereafter is a Penalty severe (for the devotees of wrong). And Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the devotees of Allah.. And what is the life of this world, but goods and chattels of deception?

21. (9 min 20 sec) Be ye foremost (in seeking) Forgiveness from your Lord, and a Garden (of Bliss), the width whereof is as the width of heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allah and His apostles: that is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom he pleases: and Allah is the Lord of Grace abounding.

22. No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah.

23. In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favours bestowed upon you. For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster,-

24. Such persons as are covetous and commend covetousness to men. And if any turn back (from Allah.s Way), verily Allah is Free of all Needs, Worthy of all Praise.

25. We sent aforetime our apostles with Clear Signs and sent down with them the Book and the Balance (of Right and Wrong), that men may stand forth in justice; and We sent down Iron, in which is (material for) mighty war, as well as many benefits for mankind, that Allah may test who it is that will help, Unseen, Him and His apostles: For Allah is Full of Strength, Exalted in Might (and able to enforce His Will).

26. And We sent Noah and Abraham, and established in their line Prophethood and Revelation: and some of them were on right guidance. But many of them became rebellious transgressors.

27. Then, in their wake, We followed them up with (others of) Our apostles: We sent after them Jesus the son of Mary, and bestowed on him the Gospel; and We ordained in the hearts of those who followed him Compassion and Mercy. But the Monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them: (We commanded) only the seeking for the Good Pleasure of Allah. but that they did not foster as they should have done. Yet We bestowed, on those among them who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are rebellious transgressors.

28. (12 min 23 sec)O ye that believe! Fear Allah, and believe in His Messenger, and He will bestow on you a double portion of His Mercy: He will provide for you a Light by which ye shall walk (straight in your path), and He will forgive you (your past): for Allah is Oft- Forgiving, Most Merciful.

29. That the People of the Book may know that they have no power whatever over the Grace of Allah, that (His) Grace is (entirely) in His Hand, to bestow it on whomsoever He wills. For Allah is the Lord of Grace abounding.

Recap while I have a minute...

2006-05-16T15:24:00.000-07:00

So while I have a bit of time between finals (next one is thursday so make dua!) I figured Id rewind this past weekend.

So I had a computer science project due on Sunday by Midnight, a statistics project due Monday Morning, and a genetics final Monday as well. So you obviously know what I did this weekend huh?

Guess again.

I decided that instead of studying, I would go up to Philly with my homies for one of my homeboy's wedding, and guess what?

It was totally worth it.

We left here late so when we finally got to the venue we had missed the nikaah by 10 minutes. I was a bit blown at first, but the feeling subsided with each one of my homies I saw and hugged.

Some of these guys I hadnt seen in a couple of years and subhan Allah they completely humbled me when I met em.

I found that many of them were on the same path as me but just a few miles ahead. They had devoted their focus on their internal realm, and were taking defined steps to purify their hearts and maintain a close relationship with Allah swt. I swear by Allah that these brothers seemed like shining lamps and when I inquired about what these guys had been doing, i find out that indeed they had been focusing on their hearts.

The wedding itself was exactly the kind of wedding I want: Simple, at a masjid, snacks, pics, ruksatti and im out.

We were at my boy's house afterwards and his mom was just like 'It was a simple wedding for a simple couple' and subhan Allah, to be simple in this case is most definitely a compliment.

Weddings should be a time of enjoyment and celebration, not a time of stress and bankruptcy.

On a side note: How amazing is it when you make an intention to do something that you wont be able to do, and then Allah swt makes it happen in another way?

We race for adhan sometimes and we dont get it, and then we just show up with an intention to make adhan and Allah swt blesses you with the opportunity to gain the reward, even though you're at a masjid out of state, with a jamaa' full of people who go to the masjid, and a muadh'dhin standing at the mic.

innallaha bi kulli shay'in qadeer

Shaykh Riyadh ul Haqq - Fitna in the Ummah

2006-05-15T07:04:00.000-07:00

So obviously I am very busy seeing how Finals are here, but I also have been doing some research on my own soul and what exactly I want to target for reform with regards to my qalb and its many weaknesses. These thoughts have been a bit too personal and interreflective to post as they would leave me rather vulnerable with regards to my personal struggles being exposed.

So instead I decided that it was time that you guys got a chance to read the notes of the Shaykh Riyadh ul Haqq lecture that was given here last month. It was an amazing lecture, and I didnt complete typing my notes up before I noticed that sister Sana (http://www.sanurii.blogspot.com) being the thug that she is, posted a really beautifully detailed account of the evening on her blog. So with her permission I would like to share the url with you.

I will be back by the end of the week insha Allah!

Make dua!

http://sanurii.blogspot.com/2006/04/sheikh-abu-yusuf-riyadh-ul-haq-notes.html

Wait...

2006-05-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

My heart found another
Weaknesses
Manifested themselves
In the other as strengths

How rusty I am?
Yet how pure how white how bright you are!
Praise Allah!
How I long for the company of thee
How I long for the comfort
Of the One which you seek

Only one first impression
Oh no, don’t go!
I know I am rusty
I wish not my rust upon you!
I don’t wish to change you
But I wish to change me
I don’t wish to raise you
Nor you to raise me
Cant you see?!

I only want
To grow

Growth part II

2006-05-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

Its ironic to me how we can get into the deen and become 'religious' and we automatically assume that we have somehow earned Allah swt's hidaaya and that we have to now by default be upon the right path.

Sincerity is step one, and then step two is seeking the knowledge.

Even Musa PBUH wasnt just granted a sea which was split that he could just walk right through. He even had to take the means that he had which was the stick which he had to hit the sea with for it to part. Even the Anbiyaa' were not just granted success, they had to strive hard to achieve it.

I got into an 'interesting' discussion just now with an old friend of mine who was studying overseas and we got to the topic of taqleed. The discussion turned into almost a 'this what you have to do to be on the right path' talk and subhan Allah, I marvelled at the scene.

I dont believe anything just so that I can associate with a particular group and then subscribe to their magazine and hang their flag in front of my door. I believe anything that I believe because I really reflected on it, I came to a fork in the road and assessed the evidence I had to find the road best travelled, and most importantly: I implored Allah swt to guide me to that which is true.

So I have no problem discussion why I am treading the path I am treading because I feel as though it is the most sound and will be able to explain it, but dont attack me and my beliefs trying to imply that your way is the only way. I take conversations like this extremely personal because it makes me think that you are calling me insincere and are telling me that my imploring Allah swt for guidance and my seeking the truth has lead me into a deviant direction.

I dont think I even realized how much ive changed over the past 3 to 4 years. I was digging through my archives of email and I came across an email that a brother (may Allah reward him) had sent me through a message board that I used to post on (even before Islamica). I had made a post about exactly the same moment when I began doubting traditional scholarship which I mentioned in an earlier post, and this brother took the time to express to me his concern about the path I was headed down. This particular email is a reply that the brother sent to an email I had sent him, so my words are going to be in a red color and I will leave his black.

Subhan Allah, I read the email and it brings tears to my eyes to think that this brother cared enough to take the time out of his life to address my misconceptions with the utmost manners. Notice my writing style and my 3s for Ains. LOL, what a poser I was.

Check it out...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 31st 2002

From what i have studied, which as i admit once again, is very little, is that the different types of worship and rituals that the Sufis have been known for are not from the Quran and Sunnah.

Maybe then what is required is further study, and lessconcern regarding the judgement of others, what do youthink my dear Brother? Of what use will this avail youas currency in the hereafter? Better you do a morethorough investigation, and one which is from lessbiased sources, and proceed more impartially. For onewho admits to having studied little you are alreadyprematurely coming to judgements on such issues.

Furthermore, you should know that the usuliyyun didnot consider the Qur'an & Sunnah as the only usul,that you say "Quran and Sunnah" as if these are theonly two sources. Yes, they are the primary sources,but from them other sources were derived. Such usullike ijma', qiyas, and others which there is somedisagreement upon, like istihsan, istishab, saddal-dhara'i, etc.

Im sure everything that is related to Sufi rhetoric is not Bid'3a, but people like Ibn Arabi have said things that clearly contradict the Quran and Sunnah.

And you know this by yourself, or by your reliance onwhat others have told you? If it is by what othershave told you, then that precludes your own capacityto judge, for if you could do so yourself you'd haveno need for recourse to others. By virtue of thishandicap, it is better for your akhira that you leavejudgement in the absence of citing authorities, untilsuch time as you yourself can *verify* what is beingsaid about such Shuyukh. The flesh of scholars ispoison, and if it isn't necessary for you to delveinto that which is obviously beyond you, then don't.Many of us lack the humility to be able to back off.For you to be able to even consider judging Shaykh Ibnal-'Arabi [raheemullah], you'd need to be proficientin his thought and works, and not just quote whatothers have said having read a few articles, or hearda few tapes/talks. Are you able to be independent inyour analysis, or are you confined to the explanationsof what others have told you? If I were to ask you toexplain to me those concepts of his [raheemullah]which are contended by some of those you take youropinion from, could you explain it *without* referringto what such people have told you? If not, then youhave no business casting judgement on one whose affairlies with Allah ta'ala. Such preoccupations blind usto our own miserable condition.

ibn Arabi claims that he wrote a book and distributed it to people by permission of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) which was given to him in a dream which he claims to have seen?

I cannot comment on this, but are you willing totestify that he [raheemullah] was lying? Given that hewas most definitely a thiqa, are you willing to put*your* neck on the line concerning - at the least - aScholar, and say he was lying? You seek to increaseyour burden of accountability before Allah ta'ala so?Is it worth it akhi?

How much have you read of what the *Classical* Ulemasaid about him? And a word of advice. *Don't* rely onthe opinion of those Scholars about who themselves arethe subject of much disagreement and debate. Rather,try and rely on those Scholars upon whom there is ageneral consensus, and the khubool [acceptance] of theUmmah. Because of you rely only on those Ulema whothemselves have debate surrounding them - even if youyourself disagree with the contentions concerning them- then you will never be able to proceed with yourcontentons, because others will disagree with yourciting of that Scholar as a source.

Most of this book contradicts what Allaah revealed in His Books and is opposed to what His Prophets said. And this was a prominent Sufi shaikh.

No scholar is without his critics. Imam Ibn Taymiyyah[raheemullah] was not without his critics too. So,should the *mere* PRESENCE of criticism be taken as aproof of someone's deviance? If the presence ofcriticism of Shaykh ibn al-'Arabi is a proof againsthim [raheemullah] then let us be consistent and agreethat the presence of criticism of Imam Ibn Taymiyyah[raheemullah] is also a proof against him. But no,regarding one, you would rush to defend him, yetregarding the other the same level of judiciousness isnot exercised. And Allah ta'ala is aware of suchinjustice, and the recompense will be as it wasearned, wallahu a'lam.

Then not to mention such Sufi rituals like deep reflections in cemeteries communing with the dead, the theory of anthropomorphism, sufi healing, etc all have no basis in the Quran and Sunnah and are therefore Bida.

The Sahabah [radhiallah ta'ala ajmaeen] are reportedto have made taffakur in cemeteries, wallahu a'lam. Asfor communing with the dead, please bring forth someproof, for an allegation in its absence is ghiba, andonly the foolish would even entertain ghiba without aqat'i [definite] proof.

Regarding anthropomorphism, then it is unusual youattribute this to sufis, when it is well known to be ahallmark of some of their critics, wallahu a'lam.Again, some evidence would be of use. What is sufi healing?

My Aqidah inshaALLAH is to follow the Quran and the SUnnah.

So, you're a sufi too. ;)

If Sufis believe that one should hear and obey the Quran and Sunnah without any innovations, then they have the same aqidah as me. WaALLAhuA3lim.

Except that you probably reject what many manyscholars - including Imam ash-Shafi'i [raheemullah] -define bid'ah as.

I think i have changed my view and now do agree as far as the certain rituals being condemned. But The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours [i.e., Islam] that is not a part of it, will have it rejected.”

Hadith is dangerous to quote without sharh, so bewareof your implication, lest it depart form the intendingmeaning of Al-Shaari'.

Some unseen was granted by ALLAH subhannah wa ta3la for Muhammed PBUH to know and convey to us, but only ALLAH knows the Ghaib THE All knower all Wise.

Which is a u-turn from your original statement.

SubhanALLAH, this is why I wanted to know the Sufi Aqeedah. I want to know if they feel they can achieve explaining the unexplanable or re-explain the already explained.

How well do you know your own aqidah, before youenquire about the aqidah of others? Is that not ofmore importance my dear Brother?

Your above point is oxymoronic too. How can oneexplain the unexplainable? What you mean is, can oneexplain that which is *considered by some* to beinexplicable, right? Give me an example of somethingyou mean.

Secondly, can you cite me an *authoritative* source which states that this is what sufis believe please? I want to learn aq, i want to know if this is what they believe.

Well, if by this you are admitting you have noexample, then again I caution you of your ghiba, forsuch an allegation without evidence/proof istantamount to ghiba, wallahu a'lam. Akhi, this is nolight matter. If you have backbitten *all* sufis, youmay have closed a door to jannah for yourself, forthat is a right Allah ta'ala will not intervene in,and yet, how will you ever obtain the forgiveness ofevery sufi??! You won't, so why not instead *not* putyourself in such an insurmountable position in thefirst place.

Akhi I hope you arent trying to put me down as I am trying to learn and am on that quest daily through ALLAH's mercy.

Then don't cut off the means to that Rahma by engagingin what could constitute ghiba. If you want that Rahmaso much, then tread much more carefully akhi.And know the difference between being put down, andbeing put in your place.

One of the hardest lessons tobe learnt is to distance oneself from kibr[arrogance], mukaabarah [obstinacy], and pride. I haveyet to achieve this.

I am trying to follow the examples of> the companions as when they heard a new revelation, they made sure they had implemented it in their lives before moving on.

Yet you seem to be hasty in judging that which youhave yet to fully grasp. Why? Why can you not witholdjudgement until you have obtained the knowledge?

I constantly learn and act, learn and act, ONLY by ALLAH's mercy.

The mercy you show to other Muslims - including theSufis - is the mercy you will be entitled to on theDay of Judgement, wallahu a'lam, so be wary of how youare towards those whom you frown at. For all yourcriticism, many of them may have had more ikhlas in asingle prayer of theirs, than you have ever managed tomuster in all of yours. Allah ta'ala knows what lieswithin.

Know also that it was/is a classic trait of the Ahlal-Firaq [Peopl of Sects] to be preoccupied in judgingothers more, and the self less. It is one of shaytaanstricks to veil them from their own faults, wallahua'lam.

Ameen, and may ALLAH reward you for helping out a miskin brother like myself get the fruits of knowledge which i am starving for. Ameen

Astaghfirullah, I am not any kind of vehicle forknowledge, plase don't make the mistake of thinkingthat akhi, for to do so will only land you in hotwater. :) Plus, personally, I think this issue you'reasking about is of much less importance to you thanmany other kinds of knowledge you should be seeking.One of which would most definitely be some knowledgeof fiqh and usul, as exemplified in another of yourposts, in the Madrasatul Ilm of Madinat al-Muslimeen,which you posted on 25/01/02 at 23:04:02, and entitled'What do you do when your local Imam says there is noneed for a daleel?' You wrote:

At the Masajid tonight the Imam was explaining the artof Wudu according to the Hanafi school of thought. Iwas one of the older guys there as there were manyother young children. He said some things associatedwith Wudu which raised my eyebrows along with a coupleother brothers who were near me. After the halaqa oneof the brothers asked the Imam if he could kindly givehim the sources for the prescribed methods which hewas illustrating. The Imam then asked him and I tocome with him into his office. He then went to hisbookshelf and started picking up book after booksaying that he has read and studied these books andknows what hes talking about. He said that there is nosuch thing as daleel in the UK (where he is fromoriginally) and that this is something very new tohim. He said that we should trust him and that hewouldnt teach us anything wrong. WHAT SHOULD WE DO Ifelt very baffled as I have never heard this before?May ALLAH guide us all...

There exist a number of problematic concepts in thatpost which you need to comprehend.May Allah (awj) judge you - and me - according to His(awj) Rahma, and not His (awj) Justice

Newest desktop pic...

2006-05-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

I think the thing that i cherish most in my life right now is when Maryam is crying, and I approach her and say 'hey Maryam! Its Chachu!' and she opens her eyes, looks at me, and stops crying.

<------ I Love this Girl!! ------>

Tears...

2006-05-01T22:20:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some people recite the Quran, the very Quran that we all recite, yet they are overcome with emotion and break down and cry?

What is different between them and us?

I reflect on the fact that Allah swt's words can be recited and and one person could hear them and become overcome with emotion and it increase them in faith, and another person could be standing next to that person and this very same recitation can increase them in disbelief and become that which defines them as a person of the hellfire wa nauthubillah.

Allah swt tells us in surah Israa':

whenever thou recitest the Qur'an, We place an invisible barrier between thee and those who will not believe in the life to come:

There is no power nor might except Allah swt.

I think that we do not focus on our hearts as we should, and we do not give proper time to purifying it and that is why when we hear the Quran we are not moved as we should.

Imagine this: Allah swt tells us in the Quran "wa low anzalna hadhal Qurana 'alaa jabalil lara'aytahoo khashi'am mutasaddi'am min khasya tillaah".

That surely if Allah swt would have revealed this Quran upon a mountain then the mountain would be crushed to dust out of fear of Allah.

Yet Allah says in another part of the Quran: For, Believers are those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a tremor in their hearts, and when they hear His signs rehearsed, find their faith strengthened, and put (all) their trust in their Lord.

This is extremely deep to me because the mountain is crushed and torn asunder, yet our hearts feel a tremor.

Subhanallahi wa bihamdi!

Its as if the mountain, being a creation which does not have choice in its actions, when given such a heavy burden it can do nothing more than crumble due to the responsibility contained within the Quran. Yet the heart, the word Qalb comes from the root word which means to turn and flip, and this Quran causes it to tremor, and then to have ease. Allah swt has fashioned us in a certain way that even as we get farther and farther into our spiritual path and develop an even closer connection with Allah swt, He swt has still given our hearts the ability to have ease still.

If we would not be fashioned in such a perfect way then surely we wouldnt be able to hold this responsibility.

I feel as though the importance of knowing what the Quran means is paramount because there can still be some feeling of the tremor when the Quran is recited and we dont understand what it means, but when you know what Allah swt is telling you, when it was revealed and under what circumstances, and what the scholars have explained the verse as meaning, then surely you will be moved by the Words of Allah swt.

Take as an example the surah I have playing right now. At the 6 minute mark you will notice that the recitor begins repeating the ayah and getting extremely emotional. What is this ayah talking about? What does it mean?

Has not the Time arrived for the Believers that their hearts in all humility should engage in the remembrance of Allah and of the Truth which has been revealed (to them), and that they should not become like those to whom was given Revelation aforetime, but long ages passed over them and their hearts grew hard? For many among them are rebellious transgressors.

How relevent a verse?

I remember at our annual Villanova Camp Retreat that the local MD masajid used to go on, a couple years back my boy came up with this activity one night. It was going to be dealing with death and how it can come and find us at any time, any place. We had a soundtrack made of different sound effects, had the lights dimmed to a point where we could barely see, and a few of us brothers created a scene where we acted as if we were in a car accident, and one of us died. We then acted as if we were looking at the casket of the deceased and we began describing them.

"Man, I never thought they would die this eary. I was just with him the other day."

Then we turned to the bros and sisters and revealed that the deceased was actually them. They were the one who had passed away so suddenly.

A brother then began going in depth about death, and reflecting upon it, and he had asked me to recite a few ayahs about the day of judgement from surah ma'aarij.

6. They see the (Day) indeed as a far-off (event):

7. But We see it (quite) near.

8. The Day that the sky will be like molten brass,

9. And the mountains will be like wool,

10. And no friend will ask after a friend,

11. Though they will be put in sight of each other,- the sinner's desire will be: Would that he could redeem himself from the Penalty of that Day by (sacrificing) his children,

12. His wife and his brother,

13. His kindred who sheltered him,

14. And all, all that is on earth,- so it could deliver him:

15. By no means! for it would be the Fire of Hell!-

16. Plucking out (his being) right to the skull!

Everyone in the room began bawling. Everyone felt the ayahs in their hearts, and everyone felt the tremor, and everyone's eyes began to leak as they understood the depth of these verses through context.

Muhammed PBUH used to seek refuge in dua 'min 'aynil la tadhma', from the eye which does not shed a tear.

May Allah make us among those who, when His words are recited, our eyes well up with tears, our hearts tremble, and our limbs commit to actions corresponding with sincerity for worshipping Allah swt the way He is to be worshipped, and obeying the commands which He has given us...ameen

Interest vs Compatibility

2006-04-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

What is it that we feel like we need to almost be secretly interviewing anyone of the opposite gender who is a 'prospect' of any sorts?

I mean, it is understandable at some level and acceptable to gauge how you might feel about a person IE the list. But the list has fallacies.

Yes, the list concept is not foolproof.

To me there is a 4 step process to marriage.

1) Search
2) Interest
3) Compatibility
4) Acceptance

This strategy is like a funnel because as you go farther into this process the closer you are to finding the right one, but each one of these steps has to be done correctly.

These steps can only work if done properly. That means that you don't reach out to a person directly, and if you are talking to them and develop an interest, that you do everything to cut off any casual contact that you might have with them or else you might develop some really gay elementary schoolish feelings type of garbage which can lead to narrowmindedness resulting in skewed logic.

Now I myself feel that there is a HUGE difference between the steps of interest and compatibility. Interest is something that can happen anywhere anytime and you can assess your interest rather easily, and can find out if the other party is interested just as easily. But some might think that compatibility can also be accessed as easily as interest.

Compatibility is a VERY delicate step and can only properly be assessed after both parties have convened properly, the environment is then controlled and clear, and direct questions are asked. If you think that you can assess whether or not you are compatilble with a person just by judging something they may have said in passing, then you are really really far off.

Say that your speaking online for instance. How can you judge a person's tone? What if the person is totally not understanding what your talking about and they are misinterpreting what you mean, and you think they are responding to something yet they are responding to something completely different, can you possibly hold their response against them? What if the person is talking to 6 people at the same time and they aren't even paying attention to what your sayin, and you are analyzing their every word? Can you really think that your gonna find out how a person reacts to particular situations by posing anecdotes and then assuming that the person understands completely the situation your setting up, and then you have somehow understood what you think is this person?

You can completely miss a person's true personality if you try and just figure them out through shallow online conversations, and this can be tragic sometimes as what you think a person is like can sometimes be extremely far from the truth. How can a person possibly defend themself then after you have a preconceived notion on how they are, based on some flimsy proof! It could ruin something that could possibly be a great thing.

If you want to find out about a person who is not necessarily in your local area then here is a hint: Ask someone who knows them or someone who knows someone who knows them!

Now I am brown, and I know that at least brown people for a FACT can find a BRAZILIAN different people who know another brown person anywhere in the US. So if you wanna know about how a person REALLY is, why don't you ask someone who knows em? Don't rely on your own intuition because there is a reason that the Prophet PBUH said that it is ok to say something bad about a person when you are approached about a person for marriage or business purposes. It reveals TRUE evidence on how a person is.

To think that you might actually be incorrect on what you think a person is truly like is something that should force a person to take the proper avenues, that if there is an interest, then you don't just rate compatibility on info that has a strong possibility of not being correct. You go all out in your research of you are serious, and you will be surprised how honest people can be when you ask em about someone you are interested in.

Someone you think is absolutely great can be revealed to have a terrible rep wa nauthubillah, and someone you think is really not compatible with you might actually show to be someone totally different.

Don't think that your gonna go at something that is this delicate on your own! It aint gonna work!

If any of you sisters ever need to know about any dude and how he is, then holler at me cuz I tend to know everyone or know someone who knows em. I got yalls back!!

A Semester of Growth...

2006-04-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Never did I think that I would be at the point that I am now.

Never did I think that this semester I would learn finally learn what Islam is.

Never did I think that I would meet people who without them even knowing would nurture my heart solely through companionship.

Jeffrey Lang came to the University of Maryland a couple weeks ago and he spoke about the spiritual growth of a person. To answer a question about the requirements for Jannah he drew this diagram that was simple yet full of wisdom.

He drew a straight line near the top of the board, and drew arrows going up to that line from various starting points which were at variable distances from the line he drew.

He described this sketch as what people ignorantly feel is the 'requirement' for entering Paradise. People think that there is like a certain something that is to be done in order to enter it just like a test in school has a set grade for an A, etc.

He then drew another diagram which had different starting points for the arrows, and each arrow was drawn with variable lengths stopping at different heights.

This was what he described as the growth of a human being's soul. We will be judged not on where we end up, but on what we did with the circumstance we were given.

How much we grew is what we will be judged on.

So this leads me into the first tangent:

My understand of what fiqi is was so narrow that it inhibited me from practicing Islam comfortably. I had been coached by my environment to not trust the traditional Ulema of our Ummah, particularly the ulema of the indian subcontinent.

I saw them as backwards because I never heard them talk about how I need to read hadith and the such, instead they would just give me rulings and tell me to follow em.

How could I possibly follow that path? How could I follow a person?

Questions like this lead me to fill myself with a form of arrogance, thinking that I can learn this deen on my own by reading the works of fuqaha and deciding what was 'more authentic'.

What a freakin joke that statement is.

How could I think that I am going to be able to look at some complex jurispudic ruling, evaluate many of them, and pick one which is more 'authentic' without any knowledge of anything compared to these gargantuan Scholars of Islam!

Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq compared doing something like this to someone who goes to a doctor and is diagnosed with cancer, a form that if immediately treated with chemo it would go away. Then the patient goes home, consults books about his symptoms, consults the opinions of various doctors, and then decides that he is going to form a different opinion that he feels is more authentic based on his understanding.

How could someone who is lower in knowledge claim to have the ability to know and understand the usul of the various fiqhs, why doesnt this person just become a mujtahid of his own right instead of even consulting other rulings?!!

I reflected hard core on the path I was on because I was not content with where I was spirtually.

I remembered the khushoo' I had before I stopped recognizing scholarship, and I longed for that feeling again.

This lead me to making hard core dua, and Allah swt blessed me with people who presented to me clearly what traditional Islam was, and its legitimacy.

For instance the Hanafi Madhab is a school of thought that people ridicule and mock because they are accused of following qiyas over proofs. Yet I sat in the company of scholars of the hanafi madhab who are muhadditheen, and quote saheeh hadith for anything they ever give a ruling about.

And when you ask the people of the school, they can easily refute that issue and make extremely clear the fact that the school is merely the preservation of the jurispudic methodology of none other than Abdullah ibn Masood ra, considered one of the most senior in fiqi among ALL the sahaba ra ajmaeen.

So what I finally understood was the fact that following the hikmah established by the schools of thought, and relying on orthodoxy, is actually following the wisdom of the Prophet PBUH which was then ultimately passed down to his companions, then to their companions, and then to scholars such as imam Abu Hanifa.

Then another realization I had to make was that of understanding the refutation of the false notion that a school of thought is actually the rulings of one scholar, and then these rulings are passed down to students. What a school of thought is is a methodology of a senior sahabi (such as Abdullah ibn Masood ra) passed to his students who preserved rulings and added new rulings using that methodology, and then the chain continued until now. Scholars within the school disagree about rulings sometimes, and the majority opinion (Jumhoor which is a word I became familiar with) of the scholars within a madhab is usually best to be followed.

I finally was convinced that the best and safest of ways to practice this deen was that of following a particular fiqi, and not picking and choosing between different madhahib because to do so is very problematic (I will add a link to a lecture that explains this for anyone interested).

I was once again Hanafi.

The reasons I chose the Hanafi school are numerous but I will outline the main ones in no particular order insha Allah

My family is Hanafi, and I was not benefitting them with any knowledge I was gaining because they didnt believe in my methodology
The scholars in my area whom I already know and have a relationship with are Hanafi Ulema, so if I wanna have access to rulings I have to chose that which is easiest to find.
I speak Urdu, so when I do start in depth studies insha Allah I will be able to start with Urdu as I learn arabic insha Allah.
When I get married my wife will most probably be desi, which means she also most probably will be hanafi
I was hanafi before, and I know alot about the fiqi so it wouldnt be too much of a learning curve.

There are also other reasons but I think you can see why I chose this madhab.

What did this mean? Now that I was hanafi, what was gonna change?

Subhan Allah, the majority of what i was doing was already hanafi-acceptable so I didnt even ahve to change, but now I had the comfort of knowing that a mujtahid made the decision and not just some random person.

Now came the studies of what hanafi fiqi was.

I started having personal lessons with a local Imam, who is also the Shaykh who overseas my tajweed/Quran studies.

The main thing that you hear is the salafi/sufi battle. I had to ask what it is that legitimizes a group and makes them correct over another.

Now I do not believe that one group is absolutely wrong, but I did not know too much about sufis so I started researching.

All I knew was the fact that when I heard certian shuyukh speak about anything, they brought a depth to the topic unmatched by others. I would later find that these scholars were actually scholars of tasawwuf.

To my surprise, I found that Tasawwuf was no different in its science than that of hadith science and aqeedah science. For instance you can find someone who knows the hadith, record the hadith with its chain, and establish it as a tangible entity. So people can look and see exactly what the science is preserving because its something that is matter. Yet the science of Tasawwuf is merely the preservation of Ihsaan, and the methology that the sahabah used to establish ihsaan in their lives.

To think that since Ihsaan is something that cant be measured it isnt something that is preservable or something that can be made into a science is not correct. We have dua and adhkaar of the Prophet PBUH: Who preserved them? It was the scholars of tasawwuf who preserved the true hikmah of how to to use a dua correctly and what the conditions were of the dua. A dua is not just a hadith that is recitable by us, it is a piece of soul enhancing vitamins if you will, that you must know the dose of and the time you have to take it before you just take it any way you want.

The main thing I was skeptical about was the fact that I always heard about people worshiping awliyaa and praying at graves, etc. One of these nurturers of my heart confirmed to me that some people might participate in these actions, but it is not something that is correct. Some tariqas might provide evidences for things like this, but as far as the fiqi I now follow, I found it to be unacceptable.

This epiphony of sorts has totally changed my outlook on who I am and who I aspire to be.

Sincerity is the hardest of things to maintain in my opinion, and something I know I do sometimes is I try and not look sincere in front of people so that they think im just chillin and not really into the deen. This actually is backwards reasoning because you are then intending to please someone other than Allah, and this is something extremely dangerous wa naudhubillah. This problem that I have with sincerity is something that I have not been able to solve despite all my efforts, so now I have an avenue of solving this dilemma.

We had a tarbiyya conference at the masjid I go to for Quran/fiqi lessons and in this conference one shaykh descibed the importance of us to let go of our arrogance and to trust the elders IE scholars of this deen. This is an issue that is mostly just an issue in the west, and the shaykh said that this problem is one of the root causes of our issues within our communites.

So where does this leave me?

I have 3 weeks of school left, and I already mapped out for yall what my schedule is as far as school goes for the summer and fall, and I plan to make big moves as far as deen goes and how I want to learn it. I dont wanna get into details, but let me just say that many who think they know me would be surprised by what I may be about to do this summer wallahul musta'an.

May Allah reward those who have been vehicles of clarity and have given my contentment in my stance, and may Allah make them among those whom He loves, preferres, and guides...ameen

http://downloads1.nadeemdownloads.com/ISLAMIC%20SERVER%2005/Riyadhul%20Haq-Juristic%20Differences%20Part1.mp3

http://downloads1.nadeemdownloads.com/ISLAMIC%20SERVER%2005/Riyadhul%20Haq-Juristic%20Differences%20Part2.mp3

check those lectures to get a clear understanding of where im coming from if you have questions. I think Shaykh abu Yusuf does a stupendous job at explaining the topic of Juristic differences.

Utopia...

2006-04-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Its rather funny how sometimes our imagination can set up this bubble around us when we are dealing with uncertainty, giving us creative license to interpret anything the way we want to interpret it.

Its like you have something which you are unsure about how you are to interpret it, so you figure out how you want to interpret it, and then you release it into space to then orbit around you at an exact calculated orbit that you are comfortable with.

As if everything revolves around us, and there is no way something could be in disagreement with our interpretation.

Just remember that if something is uncertain, you take all the means possible to make it certain regardless of how you might look dumb in the end. You gotta have the guts to step up and be responsible for your actions, or else you will never grow.

We also should keep in mind that when the bubble does burst, and reality is shown, that you laugh it off, brush your shoulders off and keep it thoro as you know Allahul Musta'an and Qadr Allah wa masha fa'al.

IM A SURVIIIVA!

To hold you over...

2006-04-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Since I have yet to get time to put up the notes of the Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haqq lectures, here is a link that, if you look at it, you have to make dua for me. That is a promise I am taking from you all so I will hold you to it.If you dont know what to make dua for, then make dua that Allah accept all my duas.

http://nadeem.lightuponlight.com/indexaudios2.html#
Abu_Yusuf_Riyadh_ul_Haq

that is one long link, i couldnt keep it together cuz it was messing up the blog format, so just cut the second line and paste it into the address bar next to the first line.

This link has lectures of the shaykh on it, but the site has a rack of lectures from like every scholar you can think of...in MPFREES!

Dont forget the duas and the notes will be up ASAP insha Allah...

True Peace...

2006-04-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

http://gandaghee.blogspot.com/2006/02/peace.html

That post was made in February when Uncle Nazir Baig had a stroke and we went to go visit him. Subhan Allah, last night at around midnight he passed away in the rehab center, presumabely in his sleep.

inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon

How insignificant our issues seem when we think about the reality of our life ending at its appointed time.

Allah swt tells us in the Quran "Qul innal mawtal ladhee tafirroona minhu fa innahu mulaaqeekum".

Say: "The Death from which ye flee will truly overtake you"

We think what we are going through is so stressful and important yet we have no idea the trials that each one of us will face when our souls reach our collar bone and our legs are crossed over each other in the shroud in which we will be buried.

Musharraf Qaadri, Nazir Baig, and Nazir Vohra (May Allah have mercy upon them all), all uncles in my community whom I grew up knowing and loving, have passed away within the past 2 years.

When my father was all but gone to Allah swt Nazir uncle came and sat next to him and kept him company all afternoon even though my father was delirious from the medication he was on.

I look around and see the sons of of each of these now deceased cornerstones of the muslim community in this area and I see myself.

I put myself in their shoes and it fills me with a grief that I can not describe.

How could I possibly step up and be a leader like my father? Will I ever possess the cunningness of my father so that when he is gone, I will be able to benefit the family the way he did? Will I be able to console my mother when his day comes?

Or my mother: When she is gone, what will I do? Whose lap will I lay in when I come home from a hard day of work? I cant even continue without my eyes watering as this is a thought that I can not reflect on without my heart comming up into my throat.

How scary a thought it is to know that one day, the ones who cared for you when you were unable to care for yourself, who raised you with blood sweat and tears, who cried when you were hurt and prayed for your well being...will be gone soon.

May Allah grant Nazir Baig the highest levels of Jannah, forgive him all his sins, and make him among those whom He loves...ameen

FYI

2006-04-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq is masha Allah a fountain of knowledge.

I took about 7 and a half pages of notes on his lecture he gave here last night entitled "Fitna in the Ummah" and im in the process of trying to read my scribble scrabble and translating it onto word so I can post it here and send it to people who requested it.

Make dua!! Yeah...im talking to you!

Da Weekend...

2006-04-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah, this weekend began on such a sour note with me thinking that I was gonna be just rolling around in my house wearin my pajamas and being a loser, but instead you all made dua for me as I requested walhumdulillah and I had an absolutely splendid weekend.

Friday

It all began Friday evening when I made dua that Allah swt fill my emptiness with Quran, and to replace my lonliness with a companion of great regard, the Quran. I went to hifz class and recited the rest of the juzz I was on to my shaykh (may Allah preserve him) and subhan Allah he just smiled as I recited to him and kept his eyes closed. I am extremely OCD when it comes to not making any mistakes at all in a juzz and if I make a mistake or have an atak (get stuck) then I get extremely pissed and wanna just start over. So this happened a couple of times as I was reciting and I sucked my teeth and implored the shaykh to allow me to start from the beginning. He instead told me it was ok and told me to keep going. I finished the juzz and he gave me the ultimate that any Quran teacher could give you after you recite to him.

He said "Masha Allah...Very good...Ahsant"

This coming from a teacher who will make some of the students repeat the isti'za (au'dhubillahi...) because they dont pronounce it right. Alhumdulillah..I got permission to move to the next Juzz!!!

Saturday

So my boss got mad at me cuz I took off from work without clocking out, and I went home early without telling any manager on duty. After this incident took place I had 2 weeks off which I requested aforetime, so I didnt come in to work. Then when I get back and try to find when I come in to work, my coworkers tell me that my boss is angry with me and I need to come in and see him.

I go in to see him and he tells me he's angry cuz i left without following the right procedure. I apologize to him, and he tells me to come in the following week to work.

The next week I call to find when I have to come in and my boss apparently forgot to put me on the schedule so I have another weekend off. Thats 4 str8 weekends off!! At first im like, dude, i need some loot so im going into work regardless. But then I realize that there was a waleema that I had to go to anyway so it worked out!

I go to the waleema and to my surprise, there is 4/5ths of Gandaghee there!! Even Shaykh Washamama Gevya was there! It was a reunion that was absolutely necessary seeing how Aatif just got engaged (masha Allah) OPP is engaged and is moving to Cali in a couple of weeks (insha Allah and Masha Allah) and Chug is also now engaged and is too busy to do anything (he was the only one missing from the waleema and Masha Allah).

So after the waleema Aatif, OP and I went out and hung out till like 3 in the morning. I hadnt hung out with those guys in sooooooo long that subhan Allah, it didnt even matter where we went, just being in their company was extremely necessary.

While we were hanging out they both talked about their rishta situations and detailed the struggle to please in laws during the 'baat pakki'. It was surreal to be sitting with guys ive known nearly all my life and them now moving on and becoming established adults.

They then began to ask me about my rishta situations and what my plans were since I had hinted at them about the stuff I was going through and my plans to release my mother on some unsuspecting females. They knew I was working on something and I filled them in on my current status of now and how stuff really wasnt working out since I was still in school and going about stuff at the wrong angle.

I detailed to them about certain things going on in my life and how I was now trying to just get my school done by next spring so I can get back to where im supposed to be and they were real pumped.

They gave me some advice that was just amazing and definitely needed for my own confidence. They explained to me how the only thing I can do is let things naturally progress, and not to stress any particular situation cuz some people arent ready for stuff like marriage and that I need to just do what im doing and that I will get the best thing for me. Just cuz I think something is the best thing for me, doesnt necessarily mean it is.

Wow, this is some advice that is so simple, yet coming from my best buds it was like revelation to my situation!

They then gave me some more insightful indepth inside information about my particular situation which kind of gave me even more comfort in my current status walhumdulillah.

I remember way back I was having a convo with a couple of brothers about the establishment of an Islamic State, and one brother explained to me that the traditional point of view is that the vision is not that of establishment of Islam persay, but that the vision of each individual is that of pleasing Allah and purifying themselves, and that the Islamic State is then a consequence of this purification.

I tied this into my conversations with my homies and applied this same logic to my situation.

Why would I sweat a particular situation? I cant make my vision be this particular so called 'ideal' situation and then allow myself to mold and shape my life to fit the parameters of this particular situation. That would be compromising my own self and my own needs, and instead would set me back as I would neglect what I need to be doing just because im contemplating on what im going to do to make this situation work, instead of taking what would be the traditional strategy which is that of self purification and self rectification which if done completely and correctly will result in the consequence of getting married at the best time, establishing my life at the best possible time, etc.

This gave me some super comfort cuz now I am thinking about nothing more than my school and my deen, instead of thinking about this date and this establishment taking place that day.

What a rant!!!

Sunday

So tonight we had our joint MSA/Islamic Relief Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fundraising Dinner. We advertised hard core for the past 3 weeks all over Maryland and we were insha Allah expecting a turnout upwards of about 200 people.

Of course we aimed a bit high as we instead got a turnout of about 70-80 people walhumdulillah.

To make a long story short, we sponsored 20 orphans, and raised close to 11 thousand dollars alhumdulillah.

This may seem like a really small amount, but wallahi there was some barakah in that room. People left happy and though we were blown by the skimpy turnout, we were satisfied by the fact that those who came did donate to the best of their abilities.

I also got a chance to hang out with Naeem Muhammed after like forever, and I got to talk to him about my ideas for how Im gonna use him in Gandaghee II. He was down to be in it and we are hopefully gonna film what I wanted to film next Sunday at the concert with Native Deen and 786 in VA.

PS: Aatif is Emceeing the event in VA, and we are planning to actually, for the first time ever, perform some songs from halal mixtape...LIVE! It should be awesome since its something people have been requesting us to do forever!

Make dua!!!

Mission: Graduation

2006-04-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

So instead of sitting and moping around because my boys around me are finishing up school and starting their lives, ive taken it upon myself to shoot for graduating next Spring Insha Allah. I know its gonna be hard, but now I am driven by the fuel of wanting to prove to myself and to any nay sayers that I can make a plan for my future soon, and that I can handle this type of load on my shoulders, and that I am not a loser career student type of dude. I am getting the heezy outta here insha Allah!!!

Summer Schedule insha Allah

MATH 221: Linear Algebra
COMP SCI 203: Discrete Structures

Fall 06 Schedule insha Allah

American Studies 325: Studies in Popular Culture
Biology 430: Biochemistry
Biology 304: Plant Biology
Comp Sci 202: C++ Programming
Urdu II
PE: Basketball (graduation requirement)

So make dua! Im really interested in the american studies class cuz i think im finally gonna be able to use my theories of the effects of music and television and american youth. 21.5 credits is gonna be nuts, but i think at this point I am driven by a bit of a chip on my shoulder.

Fee Sabeelillah...

2006-04-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

To fathom the intensity of that statement, to understand the weight behind any action which has the foundation of being solely for the sake of Allah swt is strong enough to move mountains.

The comfort of doing something solely for the sake of Allah is a comfort unmatched by any other intention. The comfort exends beyond the results of the action itself as if the result is measured as positive by you then you know its from Allah and the best for you and if the result is measured as negative by you then still, you know since this result was based on the premise of pleasing Allah swt then this pleasure is still gainable and hopefully attained and therefore the negative result is in and of itself in actuality a positive result.

The pain of my inability to do that which I wanna do with my life at this point is something which has filled me with stress for months now.

My intention when I entered school was to pay for school on my own, to avoid any type of help from anyone, and to not come any where near a loan. This was how I started, and this task was hopefully done solely to please Allah.

Now this goal of mine has forced me to quit school in the past for one semester, go to school part time for 2 years in order to maintain my 2 jobs, and ultimately lead me to still be in school with about 11 classes left which is approximately one year insha Allah, a 23 year old senior whose been out of high school for 6 years now.

Now I have absolutely no problem with my still being in school as this is what I brought on myself with my avoiding any riba, and Allah has blessed the past 6 years of my life with the ability to learn this deen to a comfortable level, to become involved in many different Islamic institutions and organizations, and gain an innummerable amount of friends along the way.

This barakah that was put in my time is no question from Allah swt, and has granted me a bit of comfort that Allah might actually be somewhat pleased with me.

Now as I finish up school i come to a crux in my life as my friends of my age are all moving past the school phase of their lives and are entering the establishment part of their life. I look around me and everyone is either married, getting married, or are of the younger aged set of friends I have.

So my inherent reaction to this newfound lonliness is obviously to go out and try to set something up of my own.

But in comes the test of my sincerity and devotion to Allah swt.

My financial situation and my still being in school, direct byproducts of my intention to stay out of a sin which would make me among those who has declared war against al Qaweeyun Azeez, is now being used to declare me as inable to continue with my own goals and plans of establishing my future.

I had planned that at 23 I would be here and be there and that this would happen and that that would happen, yet to someone I would speak to in order to begin this laying down of a foundation, now is no different than 3 years ago or even 5 years ago in their eyes. Im just an unstable, uncertain, irresponsible super senior who can not handle such a responsibility as planning for the future because look at me! Im still in school working jobs that I will ultimately quit as soon as I get into my field.

At first this put me into a sense of almost depression.

I just want to scream to everyone what ive done, how ive done it, and what type of roadblocks have been set up in my way that I have climbed over to even get to where I am today.

Dont they know that [Editted]

Dont they know that ...

and then I thought: I can go through an entire list of road blocks that ive faced of an even greater magnitude than the aforementioned one but...why?

I did this for the sake of Allah, Allah swt: Alimul ghaybi wash shahadah has put this difficult path ahead of me and I took it SOLELY to please Him azzawajal. So why should I feel down because some man is going to consider me unstable when the path which I am aspiring to stay on is the most stable of paths, the path that Allah swt has set up for me.

This is why when we do anything it has to be for the sake of Allah, because any stuggle, any toil and trouble is then known to be from Allah only to purify us further and to increase us in rank in Jannah, and so that Allah swt is pleased with us even more.

I pray that Allah swt makes my intentions pure, and never allows me to feel as though ive earned some sort of merit badge for taking a particular path, as if ive done something which earns anything from anyone here on earth...ameen

The Iboo Diet...

2006-04-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

For the past nearly 2 months ive been on a mission to lose some lbs.

It all started 2 summers ago in Pakistan at my bro's wedding. I was all over the ghetto areas of Karachi giving out invitations and it was like a brazzillion degrees outside. Naturally, I would ask for water at each house I would visit and the request would be accompanied by the question 'Ye pani bottle ka hai?'

Because if it isnt bottled water, then your in for some trouble as the water comes out of the pipes with a hint of brown.

So at like the third house i get some water which supposed to be bottled, and it has roohafza mixed in it. I drink about half the glass before being told that it actually is not bottled water it is from the tap.

Yippee!

Soon thereafter came problem after problem with my digestive tract that has now led me being diagnosed with a condition.

But khayr, its not that big a deal that I got some bug, the issue is that I weighed about 185 when i came back from Pakistan and within about 3 weeks ballooned up to 210. I couldnt exercize like I used to because of my condition so I weighed over 200 up until 2 months ago...when I began the Iboo diet.

Now the Iboo diet is not some extraordinary weight loss break through or something. I had just been looking at how people do all these diets that are in some cases calling for opposite things to be done to lose weight, and for the most part they are all working.

Then I looked at the Quran and Sunnah for evidences on how a muslim is to treat food and I almost feel like I made some illegitimate ijtihad on how a muslim is supposed to eat.

The first thing I noticed was that there was one thing all these diet plans have in common: calling for discipline.

Each diet was telling a person to discipline their diet in a particular way and to be conscious of what kind of food they are eating. This in fact is what Allah swt tells us to do as well in the Quran when He swt says :

2:168 O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, Lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the evil one, for he is to you an avowed enemy.

and

2:172 O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.

So discipline is called for by Allah swt concerning our diet.

Also there is the famous hadith of the Prophet PBUH about how he would seperate his stomach into thirds with 1 being food, 1 being water, and 1 being air.

Another reflection I had was that of the constant mention of food in the descriptions of Jannah. We are promised all these things dealing with food in Paradise yet we go around and indulge in food here whenever we get the opportunity. We're all on the see-food diet. We see it and we eat it. But if Allah swt has promised us the opportunity to indulge in food in Jannah, then to me that means that I should not indulge in food here and this was the way that the Prophet PBUH also lived. Its narrated that he went months on just water and dates. The best man to ever walk the earth lived such a humble life subhan Allah.

So back to the diet.

After reading and reflecting about stuff I decided that instead of having someone else tell me what to cut out of my diet, i was going to cut out what I indulge in.

The Iboo Ring...

2006-04-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

So before I continue with this entry everyone has to recognize the risk I am taking to post pictures of the Iboo Ring.

Since its creation, it has been nazzared numerous times by numerous individuals and therefore is constantly under the threat of being lost scratched or stolen.

So now lets get into the history of the Iboo Ring.

It was circa summer '99 and my mamoo was getting married in Pakistan. We could afford 3 tickets so I decided to let my bro sis and mom go and I would stay home with my pops.

So after the wedding my mother calls me and asks me if I want her to bring me anything. I had this idea in my head for a ring that said Iboo on it so I described it to my mother, and asked her to have it made in silver. She didnt know my ring size so she just guesstimated and alhumdulillah she was pretty darn close.

She complied, and so the Iboo ring was born.

Now this ring has gone through some craaaaazy stuff in its lifetime.

I was at work one day and walked into the stock room to look for a vaccuum. As I mentioned earlier the ring is not exactly my size as its big enough for me to spin around on my finger (which I do as a nervous habit btw). So I walk into the stock room and the ring flies off my finger as I reach to grab a box. The ring bounces..and bounces...and bounces right into the crack between the stock elevator shaft and the floor. It was just sitting there, almost floating. One of my boys and I are the only ones there and we are just in shock of the impossibility of what has just happened. So I creep over towards my ring and alas, someone from the floor below decides to call the elevator, the door shifts, and my ring falls all the way down the shaft with my outstretched hand only inches from grabbing it. I yelled out a theatrical 'NOOOOOO!' as I witnessed it fall down and clank at the bottom.

I then spoke to the manager and told her to get someone down there to get it expecting to hear an evil Mr. India Mugambo laugh, but instead she told me that the elevator maintenance crew would be coming in a couple of weeks and they would get it out for me...and they did walhumdulillah.

This is when I began speculation of someone nazzaring my ring, but I didnt think anything of it. But I should have...

I was at Jummah at my local masjid, and this brother walks up to me after the khutbah and notices my ring.

'I WISH I had a ring like that'

Thats when I labelled the bro Nazzar Ali Khan and ran home fearing my ring was in for it again, and it was.

Almost a couple hours later I realize that my ring is missing. I am super blown and I tear the house apart. I turn my pockets inside out and my room upside down but no sign of the ring. I then read the dua you say when you lose something:

Ya mujamma an naas, al yawma larayba fee, jamma baynee wa baynal Iboo Ring.

"O gatherer of mankind on the day in which there is no doubt, gather me with the Iboo Ring."

Subhan Allah, right then I reached into my pocket and it was in my pocket. There is no way it was there before I made the dua because i had put the pockets inside out, yet after I made the dua it just appeared in my pocket.

I had become a bit paranoid to the hassad on my ring after this to say the least.

But it didnt stop there.

I was visiting the Uni that I actually attend now and we were in the musallah making salaah. After salaah we walk out and someone said something about my ring. I was actually hiding behind a wall waiting for a brother to walk by so that I could tackle em (guy stuff) and as I tackled him my ring went flying off of my finger. It didnt fly too far from what I noticed so all the brothers and sisters who were there all got together with me and we searched for it. Almost 15 minutes later, and after I even went through the trash cans that were adjacent to the area, everyone gave up. I made the dua again, and began to walk to the exit. Almost 50+ feet from the place where I initially tackled the bro was my ring, sitting on the edge of a sofa almost as if someone placed it there.

Hassad is real brothers and sisters, and my ring is a proof of that.

Today, the ring is still on my finger walhumdulillah and serves multiple purposes. I wear it on my right ring finger of course, but when I go to conferences or gatherings where my mom knows there are gonna be single sisters, she tells me to turn the ring around and wear it on my left hand because it looks like a wedding band when I do that. Obviously my mom is saying that just to make me feel better about myself :)

So that is the story of the Iboo Ring, be sure to recite surah naas and blow on the picture of my ring to ensure its safety...jk

Newest Desktop Pic

2006-04-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

Spring Time: Shaytan's favorite season...

2006-04-14T18:28:00.000-07:00

Im a winter kind of guy.

I love being bundled up in layers of clothes, having a hoodie tight on the sides of my face, sleeping with 2 comforters in the freezing cold basement with one foot poking out kind of like a thermometer.

But alas, the world spins and revolves and in comes the spring.

Now I love spring time weather: The sun out with a beautiful breeze floating through, birds chirping and flowers blooming.

So whats the problem you might ask?

In the winter, you walk around campus and you hardly notice the fitnah around you. Of course there is fitnah, but you can really focus on school and the distractions that do exist are able to be avoided.

In comes the hot weather, and off come the clothes.

I mean, the entire winter its like there is a sense of modesty in the air. People HAVE to cover themselves and whether people realize it or not, the sensitivity level of what the eye sees as pleasureful increases.

This is evident at the first sign of nice weather when the vixons decide to wear halter tops and low cut tops and bottoms, and guys think that all of a sudden there was some sort of mass transfer that happened at school where all these attractive women started attending classes mid semester.

I see guys breaking their necks to lay their eyes on a woman's body for just one extra second so that they can gain that little bit of hapiness from that which they saw. One of these people is this guy I work with, who would always make it a point to come to my vaccuum department and give a hug to my coworker lady whenever she would decide to wear a tight shirt. Then one day I blew his spot.

"Hey fulana, you know the only reason he gives you a hug is because he wants to feel your body pressed against his, right?"

Ive never seen a dark skinned black man blush as this man blushed.

I then asked him what the difference was between him and a dog. If any person is to pat their leg, a dog is going to jump up onto the leg, so is that not exactly how this man is acting?

Wa amma man khaafa maqaama rabbihee wa nahan nafsa'anil hawaa'. Fa innal jannatahiyal ma'waa.

So back to the point.

Allah swt commands women to cover themselves in the Quran by instructing them to 'cover their ornaments'. Subhan Allah, all these women have been going to the school and have been walking up and down the hallways yet people didnt notice them like that. Then all of a sudden, they take off some clothes, and everyone looks at them like they are models or something.

Its because Allah swt is al Hakeem and He swt so accurately described the beauty of a women as ornaments, as these ornaments were always there, but they were not exposed thus not attracting the eyes. But the minute you show these ornaments it attracts all types of attention.

May Allah reward our sisters who cover themselves as Allah swt has instructed them to do so, carrying the banner of Islam every time they go outside, regardless of what the climate is like outside.

Karachi Tragedy...

2006-04-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

Who?

Who could possibly in their right mind do something so absolutely dispicable, so hideous and mind-numbingly insane like blowing themselves up in the middle of salaah?

Who out there could think of any possible excuse, any possible explanation for doing something like standing in the second row of prayer, in a gathering remembering the Prophet PBUH, and then detonate a bomb that killed nearly 70 people among whom were ulema?

Who could support such a cause that would call for the killing of innocent, God loving worshippers?

What?

What is in the heart of such an individual who can legitimize such a gruesome act in their mind? What blackness! What raan has engulfed this qalb, swallowed this qalb, and cut this qalb off from the penetration of even the slightest amount of logic and wisdom which would deter it from commanding this badan from committing an atrocity of such a magnitude?

When?

When will we as an ummah wake up and realize that anger is not correctly expressed by looting and destroying public property? When will we realize that our letting go of the sunnah and our getting off the path of the Prophet PBUH is what has lead to such chaos around the world?

When will the muslimeen recognize the need for establishing sincerity in their heart before even considering establishing sharia in the land? Is not the land an extention of the heart?

Where?

Where is the brotherhood? Where is our sense of loving for our brothers what we love for ourselves? Where are our 70 excuses? Where is our sense of lowering ourselves out of love for our brother? Where is our ummah?

Why?

Why would anyone think that they can solve any type of problem, express any type of concern, give any type of da'wah by doing something like blowing up their fellow muslim brothers and sisters? Why are we so dense? Why do we have such tunnel vision? Why do we wish to carry out an action without first learning the correct methodology of that action? Why dont we obey Allah and obey the Messenger?

How?

How can we sit back and watch this type of thing happen to our brothers and sisters and not shed a tear? How can we sit watchin images of our brother's body parts being strewn across a musallah without becoming so impatient, so irritated that we couldnt prevent this from happening that we wanna just jump on the first plane over to Pakistan to help with the establishment of true in Islam in the subcontinent? How are we to consider ourselves Muslim when our body has just been injured, we have just been dealt a severe blow to our selves, and we dont even flinch, we dont even wince in pain, shed a tear or recognize the injury.

May Allah accept those who were killed in Pakistan yesterday as Martyrs, forgive all their sins, and make them among those whom He loves...ameen

Long Engagements...

2006-04-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

I hate when you talk to someone and they try to convince you that the only way a marriage can be successful if it is done in a particular idealistic cookie cutter format. As if everyone has the same situation in their life, and everyone has the same goals for their immediate future.

With that said, I have never been a fan of long engagements. Some of my friends were engaged for more than 3 to 4 years, and all I see happening from something like that is fitnah fitnah fitnah.

But now I look at my situation, and how im 23 years old now (my bro was engaged at 19 and married at 22, now has a daughter at 24) and how i probably have about 3 semesters worth of classes left, and how it might be time to have my parents start getting out there and finding me a wife.

But what do I have to offer?

I know that when I finish school insha Allah, I should not have a problem getting a decent job, but that would be in at least 2 years, so what do I tell a parent of a girl if I am to talk to them like this summer?

"Salaamu alaykum Uncle...well...I am still in school with 2 jobs to pay tuition...I live in the basement with my parents and I drive a car that is gonna probably fall apart in a year. Can I marry your daughter...please?"

I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock being my current situation which is that of everyone around me getting married and not being around, and the hard place being trying to get something set up myself when I have little to nothing to impress someone's Wali.

Maybe the answer is to have my parents set something up this summer with maybe spreading the nikaah and waleema/ruksatti over 2 years?

Uncertainty sucks...

Back from Beantown...

2006-04-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

Subhan Allah...

What a beautiful weekend it was.

Before I go to bed I want to highlight 3 points in the meeting I was blessed to be a part of. These points are points that anyone insha Allah can read about and benefit from as they display character which we all need to be reminded of bi'idhnillah.

1) After we prayed fajr and made the adhkaar of the morning, a brother was asked to give a small reminder. Upon taking the microphone, the brother began to weep. He wept for almost 30 seconds to himself until he began to speak. As he began to speak you realized the purpose of his tears.
"Subhan Allah...I dont know why I was asked to speak to a people of such a caliber. Have you heard of the man who was a date seller in a gold market...subhan Allah...I have nothing which I can benefit you with, as I only have dates. But let me tell you of my dates..."

He then began the reminder which was walhumdulillah beneficial, but he cut it short, apologized, and left the mic as he walked from the front.

How many of us say we are humble and sincere, yet how few of us actually are moved to a point where our humility actually leads us to humiliation?

2) There was a brother who was asked to give a reminder after the Dhuhr/Asr salaah. The brother came to the mic and then began speaking about the love of the Prophet PBUH, the month which we are in being the month of the Mawlid, and how this man was greatness personified. The talk was very amazing and beneficial, but there was one point which was made me reflect. The brother said 'The Prophet PBUH was not sent to a bunch of mu'mineen. He was sent in the midst of kufr and shirk to purify these people, similar to our situation here in the US."

Subhan Allah...I never thought about the fact that the prophet PBUH wasnt given a task which was already being fulfilled before he was sent, so that when he was sent the blueprint was there and the backbone of the da'wah was there so he just stepped in and assumed control. This da'wah is a da'wah which is going to require long term goals and long term planning, and we must be as the Prophet PBUh was to the mushrikeen by setting an example of piety so that these people will admire us and follow suit.

3) This moment was the absolute deepest moment for me, and a moment which I will treasure for the rest of my life.

It was after Isha I believe, and we had just had a short talk, when a brother came to the front. The brother said that he felt a beautiful feeling in the room, and a strong sense of brotherhood among us, and he felt that this was a perfect time to make tawassul to Allah swt as was done by the 3 in the cave, by the good deeds we put forth. The brother said that he wanted to make collective dua with the good deed of brotherhood between us, so that Allah swt would forgive our sins.

But before he began, he made a statement which made almost everyone in the room weep.

He asked that before we begin, everyone in the room (bros w/bros, sisters w/sisters of course) come so close to eachother that there be not even a gap between us. So tight and close that we would have literally no room to maneuver around for comfort. Then he told us that for fear of our collective dua not being accepted, he asked that everyone in the room look deep into their heart and reflect on whether or not there is any ill feeling being fostered in the heart for any brother in the room, or not in the room. He said that if there is any feeling like this that someone has, the person should now clear his heart of this feeling, or else the person should leave the room for fear of everyone's dua being rejected.

After these words, it was as if we were a snowball of emotion placed on the top of a very steep hill, just waiting for a push.

The push was the first part of the dua.

This dua that the brother made was simple and very short, yet it was so powerful, so full of sincerity insha Allah, that it was by far the most beneficial dua that ive been a part of.

Thats all for now, I pray that Allah swt accepts anything which I put forward for His Sake this weeken, and that HE swt makes me among the tools which he uses to better the deen.

Off to beantown...

2006-04-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

So i will be going to Boston for the weekend after class tomorrow insha Allah. Keep me in your duas that Allah swt make the trip beneficial and that I come back as a better muslim than when I left.

in the meantime...check out http://mist.ressay.com for pictures from Saturdays competitions at MIST. The best pics are not yet available but insha Allah they will be by the time I get back so I can make my long awaited MIST post. I must warn you, all the pics of me got me looking like a bear cuz I had like 3 hours of sleep combined with a week old shadow beard around my beard.

Salaamu alaykum

Iboo

Halal Mixtape MP3s!!!!

2006-04-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

Salaamu alaykum guys,

In the spirit of an almost official kickoff of true work being done of GII, my boy at reflex studio productions has put up all the songs from Halal Mixtape I onto his site for download as MP3s.

www.ressay.com/download/Gandaghee Songs <------------ dont forget the space before Songs!

For those of you who know quality sound should recognize the fact that these tracks were mixed and mastered with the most state of the art sound equipment, not some ghetto doodoo equipment. Soon im gonna start recording my tracks for GII and im gonna put up a couple sneak previews up there too so I'll keep you posted!

If he said it, then he is truthful...

2006-03-31T15:19:00.000-08:00

Heres the khutbah I delivered on campus today. I was a little disappointed because my khateebs bailed out on me and I was stuck to write the khutbah friday morning before salaah because i had an exam thursday and then work in the evening. Khayr, i think it was alright, other than the fact that I didnt get a chance to make the khutbah into an outline so i took it in the form below, and brought a pen to mark what I had already said. Twas not a good idea as I began playing with the pen as I spoke annoying those were listening im sure.

- One year before the Hijrah, which is relatively early in the da’wah of the Prophet PBUH, there was an event that took place. The event was something that if you were to hear of it today, unless you have iman you might think it is some type of made up story, let alone those who heard it back in the time of the Prophet.

- This event was al Israa’ wal Me’raaj, the night journey of the Prophet PBUH to Jerusalem and then his subsequent ascension into the heavens to meet Allah swt and then back. The day after the event took place, the Prophet PBUH spoke of the event that had taken place, and for many Muslims this was a test because they were new in Islam and to hear of something so miraculous was almost too strange to be reality for them. Yet other companions showed the strength of their faith that day, namely Abu Bakr ra.

- The Quraish began to go around mocking what the Prophet PBUH had claimed, going around and asking the Muslims if they believe in such a foolish thing.

- They said to Abu Bakr, "Look at what your companion is saying. He says he went to Jerusalem and came back in one night." The response of Abu Bakr was a profound response, it was a response that insha Allah today’s khutbah will be based on. Abu Bakr told them, "If he said that, then he is truthful.”

- Brothers and Sisters, Allah swt tells us in the Quran

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ ادْخُلُواْ فِي السِّلْمِ كَآفَّةً وَلاَ تَتَّبِعُواْ خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ إِنَّهُ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِينٌ

O You who believe! Enter into Islam whole heartedly, and do not follow the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you and avowed enemy.

- In this verse Allah swt is outlining two very important guidelines for us to follow if we wish to be called those who believe

- Enter into Islam whole heartedly
- To enter into Islam whole heartedly means that as muslims we must accept Allah swt as both our Rabb and our Ilaah.
- To accept Allah swt as only our Rabb would mean that there is no difference between us and others who believe in Allah’s existence, as to accept Allah as our Rabb only means that we accept him as our provider, caretaker and sustainer. To believe this does not necessarily mean that you have accepted Islam as in the Quran, Allah swt tells us what Shaytaan will say on the day of judgement. He will say ‘Innee akaafullaha rabbal Alameen’ “verily I fear Allah, Lord of all that exists”. And then in surah Ya seen a group of disbelievers take it a step further by saying to the people calling them to Islam

قَالُوا مَا أَنتُمْ إِلاَّ بَشَرٌ مِّثْلُنَا وَمَا أَنزَلَ الرَّحْمن مِن شَيْءٍ إِنْ أَنتُمْ إِلاَّ تَكْذِبُونَ

- The (people) said: "Ye are only men like ourselves; and ((Allah)) Most Gracious sends no sort of revelation: ye do nothing but lie

- They even recognize that Allah swt is ar Rahman, yet they negate the fact that Allah swt is ALSO the ilaah of all that exists.

- To accept Allah swt as our Ilaah means that we accept him not only as the one who sustains us and provides for us, but also as our law giver and our establisher of rules on this earth.

- To negate this role of Allah swt is negating the very nature of Islam as it was revealed to all the Prophets who came before.

- The second part of the verse that I recited to you earlier states a warning from Allah swt, and this warning ties directly into the acceptance of Allah as our Law giver. “And do not follow the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy”

- Brothers and Sisters: What is it that Iblees did which earned him such a curse from Allah swt? What did he do to become such a being that we are asked before we do almost anything of relevance to seek refuge from him before we begin? He, in the company of the angels who are free from sin, refused a command of Allah swt based upon what his own intellect and desire said to him.

- Imagine the scene: In the presence of Allah swt, rows upon rows of angels there, only those whom Allah swt had permitted to be there were there to witness the unveiling of this creation of Allah: Adam. Allah swt then after bringing his creation forth, told all those who were there to bow to Adam not out of worship of man, but out of respect of this great creation of Allah. Everyone making sajdah, except one being. What defiance! What arrogance to be before the Lord who created you, and to reject HIS honorable commands! Then after refusing this command of Allah so defiantly he explained himself. He said that he was made of fire and Adam of clay, therefore he concluded that he was better than Adam and that he did not need to bow to Adam.

- This response from Shaytaan which earned him eternal damnation from Allah swt, is unfortunately the same logic that many muslims around the world use today when given a command from Allah swt.

- Shaytaan this day showed that he took his intellect, an intellect which was fashioned by Allah swt, as his law giver, rejecting the right of Allah swt to command us as HE wills.

- How can we possibly think that we as human beings, a being which does know anything except that which we are taught, can challenge the authority of Allah swt by not doing as we are commanded to do?

- Allah swt has given us the absolute best way to do everything in our life. Any command that HE has given us is better for us for 2 reasons. 1 because we will be rewarded for obeying Allah in the hearafter, and 2 because this obeying will be the best path to follow for success in this life.

- There are so many examples of how Allah has given us a command, and then scientists through millions of dollars worth of research and years of hard work, come to verify that which Allah has already told us.

- Alcohol for instance, Allah clearly tells us why it is prohibited for us. He tells us in the Quran that there is some good in it, but that the bad outweighs the good therefore we should stay away from it. Scientists recently are researching the benefits of alcohol and they find these obscure benefits for its being drunk just to show that it has good qualities in it, yet Allah already told us it has good qualities, and it is obvious to us how harmful alcohol is to societies, and therefore we stay away from it.

- Of course this religion of Islam is a religion which is complete, and Allah swt has perfected it for us and chosen this path for us. But if any one of us were to try and take on all of the religion at once, it could be potentially hazardous to our faith as was advised to us by the Prophet PBUH.

- But we must be careful of an attitude which is creeping into our ummah, an attitude that is taking people out of Islam daily. This is the attitude of taking some of the religion and rejection part of it out of convenience, and suggesting that some of the religion is outdated and is not necessary to follow anymore.

- We may turn on the news recently and hear discussions on how certain rulings in our Sacred Law show how we are intolerant people and how this Sacred Law needs to be fought against. We as Muslims, if we hear something like this or are asked about certain rulings in our Law must keep 2 important things in mind when we are answering. 1) We must not compromise with this religion in order to please others. We will be held accountable for that which we say, and to take part and leave part of Islam is something which can take you out of Isam. And 2) there may be rulings which you do not understand fully, but the proper steps you must take is that you do not deny the ruling because you don’t understand it, and that you then seek out people who can explain to you the ruling so that you can understand it.

- If there is a ruling upon which all the established madhahib of fiqi have an ijmaa' upon, then scholars say that rejecting such a ruling can constitute kufr. And this is evident in the saying of the Prophet PBUH [paraphrased] that if my entire ummah comes together in agreement on something, then this has to be the truth as my entire ummah will not agree upon that which is incorrect.

- Allah swt is al Adl, the Most Just, and therefore HE swt will not instruct us to do that which is unjust. Therefore our response to a question of this type should be the response that abu Bakr ra gave to the Quraish that 'if he said it, then he is truthful'

- Intermission

- Salawaat

- Brothers and sisters, for the past month almost, many of the khateebs who have come to give the khutbah have been giving almost the identical khutbah, and this is partly my fault.

- The most seemingly relevant issue that the Muslims are dealing with is the Danish Cartoons, and I haven’t been warning the ones coming to give the khutbah that we have heard the cartoon khutbah already so they should give another one. But, regardless of the repetition of the message, there is one common theme that the khutbahs have shared which I feel is very beneficial to us.

- The stressing of the fact that to love the Prophet PBUH, means that you must do more than just burn some tires and break some windows. To love the Prophet PBUH means that you try your best to do as he PBUH said to us, and this means that you emulate him in any way you can and you obey him in everything that you can.

-Allah says in the Quran

لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا

Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and who engages much in the Praise of Allah.

- We at UMBC know of the fitnah we dealt with last month when the Retriever Weekly wrote an article attacking our Prophet, our religion, and those who follow it. But alhumdulillah, this fitnah was small and the MSA with the help of some alumni, had a meeting with the administration, the author of the article, made clear to them our position, and had a counter article published in the paper which clarified Islam and was insha Allah very beneficial to those who seek the truth.

- Now this fitnah was extremely small when compared to what our brothers and sisters at NYU faced this past week. I sent out an email explaining how a group on their campus was going to actually display the cartoons in an attempt to defend the rights to free speech, and that the MSA there needed our assistance in putting pressure on their school’s administration to disallow this event from taking place.

- I received an email from the NYU MSA and in it, the President explained to me what happened and I thought that I would share it with you all. The pressure put on the school forced them to take action, and they told the organization that they would not be able to display the cartoons and that no outsiders would be able to come to the event due to security concerns. The MSA had planned a massive protest outside of this event, and before the event began the MSA took a brilliant step by buying up all the tickets to the event so that nobody would be able to attend it. The MSA then instead of protesting, held a teach in outside of the event in which their was a talk about who the Prophet PBUH actually was. This event was attended by the President and vice president of the university, who showed solidarity with the MSA.

- Brothers and sisters, this is the type of power that we as Muslims need to exihibit when our religion is attacked. To run through the streets pillaging, and to resort to vigilantism as a means of exacting revenge does nothing more than play right into the hands of those who made the cartoons, by showing to them that we are just what the cartoons suggest.

- Our strength needs to be a strength in numbers, and strength in education, and a strength in resolve, as this is the only way that our claims will be legitimized and we will be taken seriously.

BONUS part of the khutbah that I thought was a little too heavy for the audience so i left it out

- This type of obedience extends to the scholars as well, as Muhammed PBUH told us in a authentic narration that “The scholars are heirs of the Prophets. The Prophets do not leave behind an inheritance of gold and silver; they leave behind the inheritance of knowledge. Whoever acquired knowledge, acquired a lot of wealth."

- Now this narration means that the rulings of this religion, of Allah swt and HIS Prophet PBUH, are going to be passed to us through a certain methodology. This methodology was never through scribes writing books and encyclopedias of information for us to get and read and derive rulings from. The methodology was that of the Prophet PBUH teaching his companions who were in his presence, then these companions teaching their companions who were in their presence, so on and so forth. This chain of teaching is still established today and can be found in the 4 schools of thought which are still being preserved in the same respect as we speak. This lineage of sound knowledge is preserved by the promise of Allah swt in the Quran, and by the methodology described by our beloved Prophet PBUH.

- Nowadays many so called progressive Muslims have given themselves the right to now restart the circle, and to reinterpret things through their own methods of convenience. They have no regard for the science of keeping this knowledge pure, but instead they wish to change rulings in an ad hoc fashion for their own comfort.

- We as followers of the Prophet Muhammed PBUH need to be very careful with these types of people, because in essence, these people are calling for us to refuse that which is coming to us of Allah through established methods, and to instead follow our own intellect as was the call of Shaytaan.

New Desktop pic...

2006-03-30T22:06:00.000-08:00

For my Sisters...

2006-03-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hey Sisters,

I felt as though it was my duty to pass along this naseehah to you all since I am a guy, and I think advice like this many guys are afraid to touch upon, but alhumdulillah, Im not very shy in this regard.

The advice is not in response to something that just one person did, nor is it necessarily directed at anyone in particular. Its just that I have heard about this particular issue before and its something I dont think that you girls even realize your doing, so ima throw it out there, you can take it how you like insha Allah.

If there is a guy who is a practicing Muslim, that has even the most remote possibility of being interested in you, and there is even a slight possibility that you might entertain the brother's proposal if he were to even approach for marriage, then dont, I repeat...DONT under any circumstances for any reason talk about another guy that you are interested in, or talk about some pre-rishta situation your dealing with currently.

You may feel compelled to talk to someone about an issue that your dealing with, and there could be a guy who you respect and think could give you some good advice, if this guy fits the aforementioned description, DO NOT tell him about any situations your in with another guy. If you know that the main thing you want to talk about doesnt have to really deal with another guy, and that the other guy could possibly be left out of the description of your issue your dealing with, then by any means necessary KEEP THE GUY OUT OF IT!!!

The guy will think that you told him for 3 possible reasons:
1) You want to let him know that you are really not interested in him and that you see him as just a good brother in the community who can help with your problem.
2) You want to introduce a 'third wheel' in order to draw a reaction out of the brother. Yes, you sisters do do this, dont deny it. You dont even realize it but it does happen.
3) You want to let the brother know that you have other people who are interested in you and are approaching you, so you want to maybe let the brother know that if he wants to make any moves then he better get to movin.

If you do something like this, know that the brother will be absolutely confused trying to figure out which of the 3 reasons you told him for, and if he was interested in you, he will not know if you are trying to tell him to leave you alone.

Guys who practice and dont date, they can be rather insecure about this sort of thing so anything like this will make them feel even more unsure.

So bottom line, something like this is not a good idea. Find someone who you KNOW your not getting married to, if you dont find someone like that then keep the situation ambiguous without showing any emotion for this other guy, and by any means do NOT talk about the guy's looks. Any guy who practices this deen is going to have some level of gheerah (legitimate jealousy) and will not appreciate something like that.

Be good my sisters, and I got your back on letting you inside the world of the brothers.

Saturday School Moments...

2006-03-26T00:57:00.000-08:00

So my Saturday school kids are absolutely nuts.

The younger ones have seen Gandaghee so they think im a movie star while my older class thinks im Michael Vick because I play football with em during recess and I DESTROY the poor 9-12 year olds.

So today im teaching my younger kids salaah, fara'id of the salaah, manners in salaah when praying in congregation, that sort of thing.

So as soon as I start talking about the manners in jamaa' the kids start blurting things out from Gandaghee.

"Remember brother Iboo when you had those glasses on and were like 'ameeeeEEEEEEEn'"
"You know thats wrong, right?"
"Yeah brother Iboo, we know thats wrong."
"Good"

Then we get to rukoo'

"Brother Iboo, the back has to be at a 90 degree angle. That was in Gandaghee"
"Yeah Abdul Wadood, very good!"
"Yeah brother Iboo, and also you shouldnt look through your legs because some people do that and your not supposed to do that"

This went on for a while with kids just blurting things out and subhan Allah, for one of the few times I was actually proud of the movie and grateful for making it as it was beneficial for so many youths. These kids actually watched it and gained from it!

Is there a better feeling than having your duas answered?

Rabbana 'alayka tawakkalna, wa ilayka anab'na wa ilaykal maseer.

Then my older kids and I were having a discussion about sincerity in intention being the ultimate when it comes to deeds. I told them about how even the Hijrah, such a huge and great deed in the account of the muhajiroon could have been degraded to a low level because of the intention of someone not being solely for Allah swt.

The kids kind of got it but it seemed like they were a bit confused, but subhan Allah, Allah inspired me somehow to come up with an analogy that they would understand clearly.

I told them to think of our good account as a metal gate suspended in the air above us, our deeds as balloons, and our breath as helium. I told them to imagine that our good deeds, as we do them, is like we are blowing up the balloon. Then, if the deed is sincere we will tie the balloon up and then let it go and it will catch on the gate suspended in the air where the rest of our good deeds are waiting. Then a deed which is not done sincerely, I told them to imagine this deed as a balloon which has been filled up with air, and then before it could be tied and sealed, you let it go and all the gas is let out of it and its left as a piece of rubber on the floor. This type of deed could be something as great as the hijrah, but if done without sincerity it will not be rewarded in the hearafter.

Alhumdulillah the kids got it!

I love my Saturday school kids, and I pray that I am able to continue teaching for years to come.

Sacrifice...

2006-03-24T01:02:00.000-08:00

Is there any greater test of sincerity than to sacrifice something which you love for the sake of Allah swt?

Tonight I was faced with a dillemma in my heart.

I would like to think that I am not a person who is deceptive and dishonest, and I would like to think that I am not a hypocrite. But tonight all of these adjectives plus a few more were swimming around in my head until finally my heart said "enough is enough!"

How could I possibly say that which I do not do? It is a great thing to Allah that we say that which we do not do.

There are two things to me which allows a person to become truely humble and to truely earn the favor of Allah swt of hidaaya.

Sacrifice and Struggle.

Im not talking sacrifice of something that if you let it go you wont even notice that it is gone, or something that you were going to get rid of anyway so you might as well do it now. Im talking about sacrificing something that you love. Something that is dearer to you than anything else. Something like listening to music for instance. You know that you listen to music whenever you step in the car and whenever you are working out, then sacrifice this music for the sake of Allah and replace it with something which will gain you good deeds like Quran. Or a better example which i promised I would touch upon in a later post is sacrificing talking to the opposite gender on AIM. This is something that we take so lightly, and we think that we have everything under control and that we are talking about deen things and not dunyaawi things so its all good, right?

Wrong.

Before you know it, your heart has become attached to this person that you are speaking to, and the very beauty of this religion and the virtues of the deen which you two speak about have been comprised by your intention and have now become the fuel of your desire to speak to this person.

Do we not recognize how fragile our heart is?

How can we possibly think that we are going to talk to someone on AIM, someone who is religious, knowledgable, God fearing, funny and down to earth without becoming attached? What are you a rock? Just because you talk of marriage and you talk of each other's rishta stories and rishta blunders and bloopers, does this mean that you two have somehow reached a new level in your relationship, a level where despite the fact that you connect on almost everything, you enjoy each other's company and you have the exact same interests, you somehow are not doing something wrong by talking because your practicing muslims and you couldnt possibly be doing something wrong since you arent talking about haraam stuff? Do you think that you are some super human entity which transcends feelings and emotion, and that you will be able to withstand this onslaught of fitnah by maintaining your bipartisanship and be able to control your feelings for a person who is of such a high level of character?

It is absolutely devastating to the heart of a believer that he/she feel arrogant and self sufficient in matters of gray area when it comes to self control, as even the Sahabah avoided the gray areas to the extent that it is reported that abu Bakr ra was eating food brought to him by one of his slaves/servants. While abu Bakr ra was eating the food the servant informed him that this food had been bought by money which was earned by cheating in a business of soothsaying. Immediately abu Bakr ra put his fingers down his throat and vomitted all that had entered his body.

Nowadays we think we can handle this type of stuff and that it wont effect us in any way because we are super religious active MSA people who are immune to harm.

Allah swt set an example for us in the Quran of Ibrahim PBUH who loved his family so much. He loved Ismaeel so much that Allah swt tested the Prophet PBUH by ordering him to slaughter his son. Can we even fathom the idea? Can we even imagine being commanded to slaughter our own flesh and blood, and then Ibrahim PBUH having no hesitiation in fullfilling the command and Ismaeel PBUH offering his neck on the stone so that he can be a part of this obedience to Allah?

What is our Ismaeel?

What are we willing to sacrifice for the sake of Allah swt so that Allah will be pleased with us? Do we not believe that Allah will replace that which we sacrifice with something better and full of barakah? Do we not have tawakkul?

If you sacrifice talking to a sister/brother online for the sake of Allah, a sister/brother who you know is perfect for you in almost every way, then dont you know that Allah will either grant you this sister/brother or something better and fill your union with blessing?

And do not legitimize talking to this sister/brother in your mind for any reason. Even if you know that the feeling is one sided and that the sister/brother only sees you as a big brother/sister who can help her with her/him problems and can talk to you about deen stuff and benefit her/him with it. Dont try and tell yourself that since its only you who is feeling this that then somehow it will be ok. Its not. Its still going to bring your imaan down, its still being recorded by the angels on your shoulders no matter the other person's intentions, and you will still be hurt more the longer you keep the online relationship going.

Ask yourself: Why are you talking to this person online? Is there a need for it? How late do you talk? How long are your conversations no matter the topic? Would you talk to her/him like this if you saw her/him in person, for the same amount of time and with the same relaxed attitude?

These questions should be clear cut enough that if you ponder over the answers, and you fear Allah, you will end the convos.

How foolish we are to think that we can take our own paths and ignore the path that has been set up by our Prophet PBUH. A path which is so absolutely amazing, that a person is honored to follow that path and the path is in need of no person to follow it in order to maintain its honor.

Allah swt says in Surah Ankaboot what translates to mean "And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right."

Guidance is earned through struggle and striving, and the path to follow to salvation is not an easy path. It requires discipline, hard work, and dedication.

Let us not lower ourselves by taking this deen as some sort of pop culture movement which is just regulating what we wear and how we talk, and then we act just like everyone else.

Sincerity is all we have complete and absolute control over, and that is what we will be judged by. Our limbs may not have the ability to carry out that which our heart desires sincerely, yet we must have the comfort of knowing that our Lord is one who is ar Raheem and al Adl (the most merciful and the most just) and then act upon this thought by trying our hardest to be completely sincere.

Make dua for me, as I am going through a transition period which I will detail in a later post insha Allah.

May Allah make us among those who are mukhliseen.

A small price to pay...

2006-03-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

What are you looking at you might ask? Well a little bit of spittle on my shirt is a small price to pay to be able to dance with my Maryam.

It seems as though i have been designated the cry doctor for my Maryam.

She tends to stay up from like 3 in the morning crying and her caretakers sometimes will just bring her next to the sofa im sleeping on in the living room and wake me up. This again happened today.

Apparently Maryam had been restless and crying since waay early in the morning and around 10AM my brother's mother in law just brought her down in her carrier and sat her next to my head. I woke up, put on my contacts and began to interview the patient.

"How long has she been crying?"
"Since 5"
"Is she crying with her eyes open or her eyes closed?"
"Both"
"Ok...I know what she needs"

At this point the amatuers took a step back as I cracked my knuckles and picked up the little squirt (Yams is what I have tagged her). Thats when I started to try various methods to quiet her down.

I started with the classic baby bounce "Kyu rorey Maryam?? Kya huwa? Kon Satay?" (Why are you crying Maryam? What happened? Who bothered you?")

She was non responsive and her crying persisted.

"Has she been fed?"
"Yes"

Hmm...at this point I am almost dumfounded as to why she is crying.

But it was time.

Time to bust out the secret weapon. A weapon so powerful it can not only stop the crying and ease Ms Cranky Pants, but actually reverse her mood putting her in a playful mood laughing and chillin.

Its da Maryam Dance.

Its more a song than a dance, but at any rate, I took Maryam away from my chest and my shirt which she had just soiled, held her in my arms and called her name. Upon hearing her name she kinda peaked at me, and I started the procedure.

"badoom badoom badoom badoom badoom..Maryaaaaaam badoom badoom badoom badoom badoom"

This stanza is repeated as I do the harlem shake-ish bobble head maneuver, gently moving her around with the rhythm.

Today I had to do it for longer than usual to pipe her down, but as I finished the soothing rhythmic routine, and stopped moving and was just singing the badoom badoom's, her hand was still moving to my song. It was amazing.

My niece has my sense of rhythm!!!

Marriage Post # 4- The Ideal Wife

2006-03-18T23:02:00.000-08:00

Abu Hurairah (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.

This hadith details the reasons why any person gets married, and it also details all the qualities a man looks for in a wife, with the rasul PBUH telling us the best of the 4 things is the deen, but this does not mean you disregard the other 3 qualities of a wife and just focus on one.

In this post I will take you inside my detailed rating system on what I think makes an ideal wife. I am sharing this so that insha Allah you brothers can get an idea on what type of sister you want, while sisters can read this and recognize what it is that the brothers are actually looking for.

Each of the 4 categories is going to be accompanied by a percentage to show how important the particular quality is to complete an ideal sister, showing how important the category is when weighted against the other qualities. Then I have detailed the categories with intricacies on what exactly the category means to me in a realistic situation. Some may be surprised by what the deen category has in it, but it should be clear that the Prophet PBUH said that he was only sent to perfect the manners, meaning that the character and personality of a person is at the foundation of the person’s deen.

The status part is strictly preference and is not meant to put certain people down, rather its what I think is ideal for my situation.

1) Deen (60%)

Character (35%)

(1) Knows role of woman

(a) Second in command, active participant in household decisions
(b) Maintains the home
(c) Silatur Rahim (maintains relationships with inlaws, family, etc)

(d) Cooking
(i) Do not want a chef, just someone who takes pride in cooking
(ii) Cooks when there is no food, if there is not food then takes initiative to make food

(iii) Bonus
1. Can cook kichree, keema and andow ka achaar (hydro food)

(2) Modesty

(a) Does not just wear hijab, but lives hijab
(i) Scarf wrapped in a fashion that exhibits true knowledge of what modesty means (tight, around neck, etc)
(ii) Wears mostly Jilbab
(iii) Does not wear jeans revealing form
(iv) Bonus
1. Would wear niqaab if asked

(b) Does not hang out with non mahrem guys
(c) Does not keep herself ‘seen’ but rather stays in the shadows and is reserved

(3) Tongue

(a) Does not lie
(b) Does not curse
(c) Does not gossip/backbite
(d) Keeps tongue moist with adhkaar
(e) Keeps conversations with non mahrems brief
(f) Does not raise voice in public/private
(g) Non-confrontational
(h) Sensible in discussions (not argumentative)

(4) Heart

(a) Soft heart
(i) Cries often
(ii) Feels pain and suffering of others and is affected by it

(b) Purification
(i) Takes steps to purify heart (adhkaar, istighfaar, etc)
(ii) Actively pursues tazkiyyatun nafs (halaqaat, etc)

(5) Sense of Humor/Personality

(a) Understands my sense of humor
(b) Smiles…a lot
(c) Light-hearted
(d) Can actually tell a joke

(e) Not a cornball
(i) Sample conversation with a cornball
1. Me, “so then I was like, yo, wth are you doin? Your nuts!”
2. Her “what do you mean nuts? Whats that mean? Cashews?”

(f) Bonus(es)
(i) Watched Gandaghee, laughed at jokes
(ii) Is capable of making me laugh
(iii) Will not cry if I play a practical joke on em
(iv) Plays practical jokes on others
(v) Is not so fragile that if I make a joke of them that they will cry

(g) Personable, not afraid to meet new people

Quran (35%)

(1) Actively memorizing the Quran
(2) In the last year memorized at least a juzz
(3) Has enough knowledge of the Quran to teach it correctly IE tajweed rules
(4) Reads Quran regularly after Fajr (Surah Israa’ ayah 78)
(5) Listens to Quran (as opposed to music)

Salah (20%)

(1) Does not miss salah for any reason except for when they cant pray
(2) Has khushoo’ in salah
(3) Prays for love of Allah, not necessarily out of fear

(4) Fajr

(a) Has internal fajr clock (does not need me to wake em)
(b) Can not remember the last 2 times they missed fajr
(c) Stays up after fajr making dhikr/reading Quran (Surah Israa’ ayah 78)

(5) Bonus

(a) Regularly makes sunnah and nawafil

Arabic (10%)

(1) Has/is learning Arabic grammer (fusha)
(2) Recognizes the importance of knowing Arabic
(3) Willing to continue with education of Arabic

(4) Bonus

(a) Knows Arabic enough to read books and understand them

Status (20%)

(1) “Apple does not fall far from the tree”

(a) Mother (50%)
(1) Welcoming
(2) Quiet
(3) Simple
(4) Personable
(5) Maintains the house
(6) Wears Hijab
(7) Much much more

(b) Father (30%)
(1) Loving
(2) Humble
(3) Not-Superficial
(4) Encouraging

(5) Bonus
(a) Involved in community

(c) Lineage/family history (20%)

(1) Born in U.S. or at least lived here 5 years
(2) Family is Muslim for generations

(a) Bonus
(i) Hydro
(ii) Family friends/mutual family friends

3) Beauty (15%)

a) LOL…you really think I would discuss this here?

4) Property (5%)

a) Dependence on money
i) Has seen struggle
ii) Can survive without riches
iii) If necessary, willing to sacrifice comfort
iiii) Content with what they have (hadith of Ibrahim PBUH coming and visiting Ismael PBUH and saying "change your doormat"
b) Debt
i) Has little to no outstanding debt
c) Bonus
i) Has her own car!!!

Random Reflections...

2006-03-06T15:22:00.000-08:00

Salaamu alaykum guys,

Its been a while no doubt since ive posted, but its because ive been reflecting on a paper i was going to write on the ills of the misuse of AIM, and how it effects muslimeen practicing or otherwise. The paper will be coming soon insha Allah, but until then I will fill you guys in with what has been swimming around in my mind.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Complexity of Creation, Simplicity of Being

As I progress through my biology courses I learn more and more how complex our creation is. Our cells contain intricaces which can not be mimicked even by our present day technologically advanced society, and this is just a PART of a cell! How can you possibly be athiest after having even the slightest knowledge of our creation?
This rumination stemmed from my reflection on how our daily lives are dictated by urges and desires. Our body has an urge to use the restroom; do you think that we would possibly take time out of our day if it was optional to relieve ourselves? Definitely not, yet Allah instills this urge in us so that we can survive. Same goes for everything we do, including procreating. Allah swt has given us the desire to get married and procreate, and this pleasure leads to the biggest responsibility that any one of us could have: having a child. The responsibilities that one has after having a child are responsibilities that we would in no way desire to have, unless this was induced by our desire to procreate. I look around, and I see nothing but people having children out of wedlock and these young girls (usually by themselves) have a huge burden on their shoulders because they decided to follow their desires without weighing the benefits and drawbacks of following their urges. How amazing a balance we have as human beings between our desires and our intellect, and how thin a line it is we must traverse daily. "And for those who fear standing before their Lord, wa guard their selves (nafs) from following baseless vain desires, for them are gardens everlasting" - al Quran.

2. Sense of smell and its connection to our emotions

I remember how when I put on just a little bit of a scented oil, and sat next to my then 2 week old niece, she immediately turned and looked towards me. Then as I got up and walked away Mar'yam (yes that is now the OFFICIAL spelling) began to cry. This made me remember my own connection between smell and people.
My nani (may Allah preserve her) is here as yet another helper for my sis-in-law and her new child. My nani (and I guess that everyone else's nani) has this particular smell that when I smell her it takes me to a sense of almost felicitiy. She usually stays in my room when she comes to visit and when she leaves she leaves her beautiful smell behind. Last time she left I remember sleeping on my pillow where she also had laid her head, and the smell made me cry because she had gone.

Thats all for now, feel free to pick my brain.

A Moment...

2006-02-23T10:18:00.000-08:00

Maryam
My honor
My trust, my life and my love
Im drugged
by arms, by feet, by eyes and by hugs
I rub
Your back as you sleep relaxed on my chest
You rest
unknowing of death or passing of tests
You rest
Unknowing your flesh is uncertain as breath
You rest
Unknowing your breath is uncertain as flesh
Unless
Your Lord has written you as preferred
Unless
Your actions match and back up your words
Unless
Priority is, sincerity's first
I pray
You become like the one for who you were named
I pray
You come out of this world with record unscathed
I pray
That your life is success the rest of your days

And that your light shines brighter than the sun and its rays

The only thing happening in my life...

2006-02-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

So I have to correct the spelling of my nieces name. My bro decided on Maryam Sultana Zuberi with a y.

So when she was born I was reluctant to hold her. I was afraid that this little fragile being would fall victim to my clumsy self, that my knees would buckle, and I something might happen to her, so I didnt dare pick her up.

But last night I did it.

I held this little miracle in my arms for the first time. My bro had decided that he wouldnt find out what the gender of the baby was before the delivery, and I couldnt understand why. In my opinion all it did was make it difficult for us to by clothes and stuff. But then I realized: when you focus on gender you tend to ignore the more important thing which is the health of the child and alhumdulillah the baby is healthy.

I really wanted a girl because there are only 4 women who are mahrem in my family (mom, khala, nani and sis) and I could use a little girl to soften me up a bit.

Heres some more pics of the little squirt:

Mariam Sultana Zuberi

2006-02-12T19:31:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the craziest days of my life.

As you can see by my visual aids, it snowed like a foot and a half overnight and it could not have come at a worse time. My 9 month pregnant sister in law was feeling contractions, and we had to shovel out the car so that they could get to the hospital. It took a good couple of hours and the car got stuck 3 different times in 3 different places, but we got it out walhumdulillah.

My fam all went to the hospital except for me and my sis who was asleep. I get a phone call from my peeps, they are gonna have to do a C section because the baby was face up in the womb and would not be able to come out normally.

Needless to say my fam was a little worried.

I grabbed some random clothes, woke my sis up who threw something on and we drove as fast as we could (which wasnt fast at all cuz it was snow on the road) to the hospital. We get there, and everyone is in the waiting room making dua. 10 minutes after I get there, a nurse comes and tells us that the baby was born and everything was successful. 'Guess what she had' the nurse jokes as my rents yell out 'boy!' and they find out that they are wrong. Its a girl!!

So on to the name game.

Right before I left the house to go to the hospital I had gotten together my top 5 names for a boy and 5 for a girl. I wrote down my 5 girl names and alas, my number one choice was also my moms first choice, which was my fathers and also one of my sister's. I tell my bro, he agrees as does my bro's mother in law. We have yet to ask my sis in law (which I hope is not a problem)

But at 3:33PM, my niece Mariam Sultana Zuberi was born, 5 lbs 11oz 19" long.

Thats my bro up there, believe it or not but he looks as though he matured right there. He became an uncle sahib right in front of my eyes.

Next came the sunnah. I was about to leave and go to the crib to pray maghrib, but my sis in law didnt let me leave. She wanted me to give the adhan and iqaama in my niece's ear. I wanted my bro to do it, but he also wanted me to have the honor. Subhan Allah, what am amazing feeling.

So the day is over.

About a half hour after my niece was born, I was there in the waiting room making Asr. I was in sajdah and I was making dua for my family. Ammi, Abba, Saadia, Anwer, Shaista baji, and then Mariam.

Subhan Allah, a half hour before Mariam didnt exist and now i was in salah making dua for her. It blew my mind the power of Allah swt, Al Muhyi, the Giver of Life. In an instant my brother became a father, his wife a mother. The responsibility that they are now holding in their hands is great. My mother and father became grandparents. To me I am still their young son and them my young parents. Now they are grandparents? How amazing? To me they are not old yet to Mariam, when she gets older she is going to consider us old timers. My sis is now a puppo (spell check DAT one) and im a chacha. Someone with great hikmah told me that I should tell her to call me Chachu to which i conceded.

I pray that Mariam becomes like her name suggests, a leader of the women in Paradise.

Ameen

"peace"

2006-02-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I got home from school my father seemed kinda down. He told me that a dear uncle of ours who had a stroke (his 3rd i believe) was in rather bad shape. He had been in a rehab facility but it wasnt looking good. My dad was talking about how its been a while since he went and visited him so I told him we should go and visit him now and he got ready and we went.

We walked into his room and subhan Allah, he was laying awake in a bed by himself in the room with no lights on. The bed was about 6 inches off of the ground with padding around it so im assuming he had been falling out of it. As soon as we walk in he begins to try and speak. 'by you, by you, by you' he kept on repeating. I didnt know what he was talking about so I just nodded my head. He then shook his head no and repeated 'by you, by you' but this time I could tell by his animation that he was instructing us to sit. I grabbed my father the only chair in the room and the uncle then said 'peace'.

When he said peace I thought to myself that subhan Allah, this uncle's stroke must have crossed some signals in his brain and he can not even express to us what he really wants to say. He then again started saying 'by you, by you' until I myself then found somewhere to sit upon which he again exclaimed 'ahh, peace'.

My father and I were speechless.

Only 6 months earlier my father was on what some including myself thought was his death bed. He was extremely close to passing away and this very uncle was in good health and had come to visit my father. He sat by my father's side and talked to him even though he was intubated and was unconscious from the drugs. My father looked as though he was almost moved to tears and was therefore speechless.

As we sat there, the uncle kept on repeating the word 'peace'. He would look at me dead in the eye and say 'peace' and shake his head side to side. He would do this for almost a minute straight until I would affirm him that 'peace will be soon insha Allah. We are all praying for you.' Upon which his eyes would leave mine and he would again look towards the ceiling muttering 'peace...peace'. No less than 2 minutes later he would again say 'peace, peace, peace, peace...peace' as he stared directly into my eyes. I almost cried right there. My father would say 'insha Allah' every time he said peace but the uncle kept saying it.

I made dua for him aloud, and affirmed him that the community had him in their duas, and that just a few months ago he was visiting my father the same way he was now being visited, so he had to just be patient and that insha Allah he would be fine. He then shook his head affirmatively and again repeated the word 'peace'.

After we left, I was reflecting upon what the uncle was saying. This uncle is from overseas so you would think that if his brain went backwards he would be speaking in urdu but no, he was saying peace in english.

Why?

Why did he keep insisting on that word out of all other words. Sure when he said 'by you' I had no idea what he was saying but peace? He said it clearly and so many times that it had to mean something.

I remember after the second stroke only months before this third one, I would always say salaam to him and ask him how he was doing. He would always respond 'garee chal ree hain' (the car is running). Subhan Allah, how simple yet profound a statement.

He knew his body was just a vehicle, a vehicle to get him from point A to B, from the womb to the tomb. When he said peace, now to me it meant that he is just awaiting that which is inevitable. He is telling us to have 'peace' and not to be too worried, and he is telling himself to have 'peace' and to be patient with what is going on, and for everyone to have 'peace' within themselves knowing that this world is temporary and any trial we are going through will definitely end.

I pray that Allah swt grants shifaa' to uncle Nazir Baig, and that Allah makes this hardship a tazkiyya of his sins leaving him absolutely sinless. I pray that when he does leave this world that he leaves it with an account clean of bad deeds and that he finds peace in his last breath. I pray that Allah grant his family patience and strength in this trying time and that this also is a cleansing for their sins. Ameen

Marriage Post # 3

2006-02-04T22:52:00.000-08:00

In fiqi of Love (yes I took fiqi of Love) we learned an important concept known as the 'suitable match'. Scholars basically say that any girl can be good enough for a man, but not any man can be good for any girl. What this means is that for instance a King can marry say a servant, and she will become a Queen, but a Princess can not marry a servant and him become a King. So therefore a sister must accept a man who she feels is suitable for her status.

Why is this on my mind? Because I do not consider myself to be a 'suitable match' for many of the sisters on my list. Its like, Im a grimy dude. I might say something that a fragile girl might break from, or I might not care about something that a girly girl's heart would break about. Heck, I have a sister who herself has become boyish in her attitude by hanging out with me and has (for the most part) rejected her girly inclinations.

Also, I am somewhat spoiled. Yes, I am not lying, I am spoiled. So does that mean I search for a sister who is known to 'spoil'? Is that possible? Like, im the middle child and have been labelled by many to be the 'ladla bacha' of my mother, who is treated extra special. Should I look for a sister who is maybe the oldest child, one who is used to taking care of a family and is not in need of being babied? I dont consider myself someone who is spoiled sooo much that there is no way I could change. I take care of myself in alot of ways, but some things I just dont do IE regular housework. Is that something I should tell a sister before we get married?

I have struggled financially for the better part of 6 years. My rents (may Allah reward them and grant them the highest levels of Jannah) left it upon me to pay for school, so I worked close to full time and went to school full time. Now I have two jobs and pay for school cash, and by the mercy of Allah swt have only a few semesters left insha Allah to complete my degree and to come out being debt free. Now in order for that to work I had to sacrifice alot, and I know what it means to sacrifice. I feel that I would want a wife who also has sacrificed through her life, and has seen hard times because it could be that hard times might fall again. How would she react to such a situation if she has never ever felt hardship?

Late night rant about marriage...classic.

Floetry...

2006-02-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

So theres a concept poem ive had swimming around in my mind for a couple of months now, and i finally got started on it. I dont wanna give away the concept just yet, but here is a VERY preliminary version of how it is gonna start. Its wack, but it'll get fixed dont worry. Peep...

What is this?
Feeling that I feeling that I feel inside.
Feels like a piece of me just died…

Along with those 5
Palestinians
Who got hit by a tank shell
Claims of Lineage
Imprisoned nations without bail
Soundin silly when
A kid grows up right there
Grabs a semi and
Unloads on everyone with no care
But Israeli’s is
Lookin Blind and got no brail
To why the city is
Waving black flags and rife-els

Like I said, it needs work. Ive been having trouble translating my feelings into rhyme which is why its taken me so long. Insha Allah I will have an easier time with it later.

Im not a circus clown...

2006-02-01T08:12:00.000-08:00

So people think I have stage fright. No...I do not have stage fright. There is a deep reason why when I am asked by anyone to 'perform' something or to host some type of comedy or entertainment event that I usually defer. Its because I am not a circus clown. Granted, I completely understand if someone asks me to host an event and I am honored to have been considered, But im talkin about when people come up and randomly ask me to entertain them. Thats not what i do. Thats not what i want to be known for. That is an aspect of my personality, not my entire personality.

I hate when someone sees me and is like 'hey your from gandaghee!!' and then they expect me to do something to make them laugh. Do i look like im wearin face paint and big clown shoes! I am not here to entertain you on command!

It really irritates me when people think my entire life revolves around Gandaghee, or Gandaghee II for that matter. As if every waking moment of the day I am thinking of how I am going to make you laugh.

That is not me.

I do not want to be raised on the DOJ as a clown, or as someone who goofed off during their time on earth. I spend my time in things which i hope will be counted as good deeds and thus enter me into the Gardens. Gandaghee was more of an extention of the knowledge that I had gained than the comedy it had. I know I can make people laugh, its something Allah swt has blessed me with walhumdulillah. The task at hand wasnt to make people laugh, but to try and give naseehah to struggling youth about things that they dont want naseehah for. What kid will sit through a movie talking about the proper way to make ruku? Not one! But they did in gandaghee. Who wants to hear about gender relations, sufi vs salafi fights, Aamina Wadud and her like, and unity of a muslim nation? Nobody, but Gandaghee II insha Allah is going to have all that AND some.

So next time you see me, or any muslim who might have some type of Islamic Entertainment out, give them salaams and ask how they are, and make dua for them. Dont run up to them asking for an autograph.

I am nobody. I struggle like everyone else.

My little cuzzin asked me how it felt to be a muslim celebrity. I was like, celebrity? He was like 'when we went to Houston that guy recognized you from the movie!'. I answered him with an answer that I hope does not offend you all or gross you out, but I told him that my doodoo still stinks.

Holes...

2006-01-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

So I havent updated in forever and yall might think its because Im so super busy.

To the contrary I actually have had plenty of time to myself, but have just been spending it on the Playstation.

Holes? You may be asking yourself what im talkin about. Now I dont think depression is the word for it, but I have been feeling rather empty inside for the past month. I have been a part of a halaqa for the past 5 years walhumdulillah, and 2 of the bros in the halaqa got married this winter.

One had the nikaah done last summer and just had his waleema, while the other just out the blue had a small little nikaah. For those who have seen Gandaghee, the former is the lead singer of 'Witr Without You' while the latter is the 'Gulab Jamun' bro from Barbados. I have to mention the fact that the Waleema was off the hook. We did this skit that totally had everyone in the ballroom geeking and I actually recited at the wedding as well (surah Room duh). It was separated for the first half, and the partition was opened in the second half. I think I am gonna do it the same way myself.

Anyway, our halaqa is not just about gaining knowledge, but these guys are true brothers of mine. Anything I need whether it be help financially, a question about the deen, or just someone to hang out with, these guys are there. After these two got married, its just not the same. My place was the hang out spot every weekend, but not any more. Whats interesting is the fact that the loss of their companionship actually has weakened my iman. On top of that the halaqa just got split up as well, and im with a group of new bros.

I remember the ayaat in the Quran talking about how Musa PBUH's mother felt after she put him in the river. Allah says that she was 'faarighaa', empty. Musa not being their made her feel empty hence, holes.

This is what life is, isnt it? Hellos goodbye move on. Like Amir Sulayman said "This life is just a hotel room. Checkin in and checkin out."

So now my sis and I can hang out like we used to i guess. Ive been meaning to really go out with her somewhere other than the cheesesteak spot. Like, the movies or puttputt or somethin. I mentioned to her the most current order of my 'List' a bit ago and she responded by laughing at me for putting a certain sister on it. She said that shes like a princess and im...well...me and that she was 'too good' for me. Wow, now im not cocky since I dont have too much to be cocky about, but I got game. I told her that if I want to go after a certain sister I think I can win her, i aint scurred. If I get rejected I get rejected, isnt that what istikhara is for?

Ive said too much...

Transmission over

The Box...

2006-01-14T19:52:00.000-08:00

Muhammed al Shareef once said that the iman is not a static thing, it is something which goes up and down constantly and the trick is to not allow the lowest valley, of your iman line graph if you will, to get lower than any other previous point your iman has been at. In other words your iman never gets as low as its previous lowest point, and therefore in the long run will ultimately always go up.

Anyone who knows me now knows that my opinion about the halal/haramness of music is rather nazi-like. Sometimes I may lighten up and not be as Hitler, but my opinion is pretty much written in stone.

I was not always this way, as those who have known me for a very long time know. I was a hiphop head beyond compare. Dont believe me? I once counted my cd collection to be upwards of 400 CDs (not burned CDs but purchased at an avg of $10 a pop, yeah...ouch) and on top of that I had stacks and stacks of hiphop magazines all over my room which when I threw away took a couple contractor bags and were too heavy to pick up.

Which takes me to The Box.

Most of the CDs I had I threw out, my bro gave away, or my mom gave away (yeah, my mom). Last week I noticed a box in my basement, it was full of cds. Not just cds, but some of my favorite cds the cds that were in constant rotation in my car.

Allah was testing me and Shaytaan was enticing me. I would look at a cd and I immediately would remember songs from the cd, the 'good' feeling I had when I was listening to em, when I first heard the cd, etc.

I was so enticed that I actually grabbed one cd that I loved oh so much and brought it with me as I went with some friends (who listen to music) and told them to pop it in for old times sake. After hearing a few tracks, I could not believe that I used to listen to this over and over again day after day. Forget the language or the music, these guys would rap about shirk. Who calls them self God? If you have no idea what i am talking about, alot of the New York rappers are 5%er 'muslims' who think that ALLAH is an acronym for Arm Leg Leg Arm Head RE themselves. So I am listening to this garbage and I am like, how corny are you to call your friend 'God'? How could you take a stinky number two on a toilet, require sleep and food to function, and be created from the despised fluid of another humans private parts, and you consider yourself a god?

Needless to say, the reminscing was short lived, and I had my sis throw those CDs in the trash and am in the process of tossing The Box out as well.

Make dua for me!!

Gandaghee II update

2006-01-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

Im sure people are wondering whats up with Gandaghee II Return of the Lota. Well, let me just say that I have been pretty depressed this entire semester because my right hand man Aatif was taking a semester at McGill University in Canada so I wasnt able to collaborate with him on anything, but i kept comming up with ideas and putting them down on paper even though I was beginning to be a bit skeptical about GII ever getting started.

Well as soon as Aatif got back in town, he got to work and alhumdulillah I have some greeeeaaat news.

Aatif and our production guy Yasser have secured a phaaaaaat camera which will allow us to insha Allah record Gandaghee II in Widescreen format. We can actually record in high definition if we want to but we are not 100% sure if we are going to do that yet.

Some people know already, but just to let everyone know: Yasser had all of the equipment we used for the last movie and his studio fell victim to a fire last summer which destroyed everything that he had. This set us back pretty far, but alhumdulillah he has the aforementioned camera now, he actually upgraded his computer system and we now have an even more powerful editing tool walhumdulillah, and I was hanging out with Naem Muhammed from Native Deen the other day and he told us we can use his studio if we want to so that gives us a place to record the songs for Halal Mixtape Vol 2.

I have some sick sick stuff written for GII and I am sure you guys are going to laugh more than part one insha ALlah. Unfortunately I can not share anything with you, but as soon as we start recording some stuff I am going to link it to my blog so you guys can get the first sneak peak at our wierdo minds at work.

Make dua for us that Allah purify our intentions, make easy for us our task, and that our movie be filled with good and that all bad be far far away from it. Ameen.

M.I.A.

2006-01-04T11:39:00.000-08:00

sooooooo I was in Houston for the last 2 weeks at my cuzzins wedding. I just want to say that I am extremely grateful to my parents for moving to Maryland and not anywhere else. Its as if the more Muslims there are the less organized they are, and Houston is the best example of that.

Everywhere you turn you see someone brown, yet you have to go searching for people practicing the deen on the level they are on the east coast. On top of that, the ones that are practicing the deen are referred to as Wahhabi by those not practicing.

I'm like, wahhabi? That kneegrow is a hard core hanafi and your calling him Wahhabi because he has established the Islam as his deen? Do you even know what you mean when you say Wahhabi or are you spewing jargon out of your mouth that has been fed to you by the media?

Enough venting about Houston, let me vent about the wedding.

Ok, now this was my first cuzzins wedding, the oldest of all the second generation after my sis my bro and I. Not to give too many details as to commit gheeba, but apparently the guy's fam faked hardcore about themselves putting on a front to my khala like they were a good family, and then as the wedding got close their true colors came out.

I am not one to think I am better than anybody or that my family is better than anybody, but these people were not the type of people I would even want to consider an acquaintance let alone give my daughter to. The groom's family was extremely homo, fake, and two faced. His friends were drunkards and stripclub going hindus and sikhs who I was this close to getting in a fight with during the reception.

Even though she is just my cuzzin and not my daughter, I felt as though I just married off my sister to a family of people itching to go to hell. I could not believe that my aunt gave away her oldest daughter to a family like that and I told her after the wedding, when she was crying about what she had done, that she need not spend too much time crying about what has happened and that she needs to focus on the 2 daughters she has left making sure that she doesn't make the same mistake again.

I have never been a part of a wedding that I did not want to be at or that I thought was a bad wedding, and I must admit that it was not a pleasant feeling. I gained a lot more love for Allah swt because I realized that the only way you will have any kind of success and happiness in the life is if Allah swt wills it.

Istikhara is the replacement we were given for drawing straws. Can you imagine the tawakkul you would need to have to draw straws? Yunus PBUH drew straws 3 times in a row and all three times it came on him to jump over the ship. That is tawakkul. Allah swt gave us something so much better, we pray that Allah gives us the best and brings it near us, and keeps the worst far away from us. How perfect a dua is that?

Marriage is the biggest test of tawakkul a person will get in their life. You can meet a rishta and they can seem absolutely perfect, but you have no idea what skeletons they have in their closet. You only trust that Allah swt will give you the best, and if you have skeletons in your closet you have little leverage in tawakkul because you yourself have not fulfilled your commitments to Allah swt. How can you expect to deserve a good person if you yourself don't strive to be a better person?

May Allah swt grant my cousin and her husband success in the marriage, and develop their union upon trust, love and commitment...ameen