Thursday, August 21, 2008

Niqabis 101

Recently, as everyone knows, I became the last single guy left in my click. By last I mean their are guys younger than me who are getting married and i feel like i got the slow car in a go cart race and everyone's lapping me :)

But please hold off on the pity party, I am enjoying my single days walhumdulillah and though Im not really single by choice, I know that its definitely got its benefits like making G2 - Return of the lota (shameless plug) set to be released late this year inshallah, or by proving that I am a geek at heart by comparing looking for a wife to google searching. But before I continue, those of you who are designated my "google bots" I need you to continue to scour the "internet" for more potential "search results" if you know what im saying.

Which leads me in to the point of this post: Niqabis. As my "google bots" bring back their "search results" after I have made my "query" I know better than to try my fortune and declare that "im feeling lucky" just as I have learned that some "keywords" do not necessarily return the best "results". From here on out im sticking with the "advanced search" option as to not attract too many unwanted "spam". So as I was looking in to these results and "noting" them as well as clicking the "similar pages" option, I started getting more and more Niqabis in the mix.

I have never in my life been around Niqabis, interacted with niqabis, or had anyone in my family who wears niqab other than my deceased Daddi (Allah yarhamha) and my Pakistani cousins in the old country who scared me worse than the youtube maze prank when I noticed that they wore niqab in the street but took it off along with their khimar and jilbaab around their non-mahrem family members!!! Oh, and my sister wore niqab for like 37 seconds back in the day. Yeah Saadz, I still remember the good old ICCL days. So needless to say, when any "search result" is a niqabi I am automatically uncomfortable for a number of reasons (sorry, but I exaggerated a little so they might be extreme stereotypes)

1) I cant assume a niqabi is on the deen just based on her niqab.
2) Is the religiosity of a niqabi inherently greater than someone like me who struggles with keeping their iman afloat day to day?
3) What if Im not attracted to em? When would I make that decision? At what point in the determination of the "search result" do I assess the "image".
4) Do I automatically assume that she isnt going to work or shes going to be an Islamic school teacher?
5) What would I look like walking around with a niqabi? Im not talking image or ego here, im talking here is Iboo: Gandaghee 2, goofy, outgoing, talking to random strangers, going to the movies, going out to eat Iboo. How could that match with a absolutely conservative appearance having niqabi?

Theres more too, but I think the above 5 points are enough to make you want to smack me and teach me a lesson or two while (inshallah) knowing that I am just ignorant to niqabis and want to sincerely be enlightened. So here is my niqabi101 class. Anyone who is a niqabi, knows niqabis, is a guy who WAS in my situation, IS in my situation, or just wants the same questions answered themself: SPEAK!!!

BTW: I personally am of the opinion that niqab is strongly recommended, and that I would definitely want my wife to wear niqab outside of the US, but that since its not fardh that in places like the States you do not need to wear one.