Retreat Revisited...
So I think i was half asleep when i published my last post and I left out one really crucial point made in the different sessions over the weekend that I think was extremely beneficial.
'The Struggle to Align the Heart and the Mind' was the theme of the camp, and I think this particular point pretty much sums up the message made throughout the weekend insha Allah.
1) This life is a competition, and this is evident by everything around us and within us. The brother who made this point in his talk used to example of our creation. He went into detail about the biological makeup of the sperm and how hundreds of thousands of them are fighting to be the one that reaches the ovum yet all these obstacles are set up along the way, until finally when all is said and done only 1 is the victor. This competitive nature of creation is also evident in grass as they compete with each other for resources, and trees compete with grass for their resources as well. The speaker went on that the tree drops its leaves on the grass in order to kill it. People say they do it for this reason or that, but they are competing for resources".
This is a sign for mankind as our creation was started with competition and we now should be competing with our brothers and sisters to get a higher maqam with Allah swt.
Imagine that Muhammed PBUH even instructed us to make dua for him after each adhaan that Allah swt grant him al waseelata wal fadheelah, the highest level of al firdausil a'laa which is right under the throne of Allah swt.
Another speaker built upon this point by talking about our ruh. This ruh is described in suratul Baqarah by Allah swt as 'roohi', a rooh from Allah swt. This is our connection with Allah swt as this rooh is what directs us to do good actions and someone who does good continually is feeding their rooh and becoming one who is within the mercy of Allah swt. Imagine that our rooh longs for Allah so much that once a day it leaves us and dissappears in order to facilitate that love for Allah. Every time we sleep our rooh leaves us and that is why when we wake up we say the dua "Alhumdulillahil ladhee ahyanaa ba'da ma amaatana wa ilayhin nushoor", 'Allah praise be to Allah, the one who gave us life after death and to him is the ressurection'.
Another speaker also commented on a similar topic where he stated that someone who has a proper balance of heart and mind, these two become like a trained dog. You tell it to sit, it will sit. You tell it to 'get em', then that dog is gonna get em. Same way when a person does not have their mind and heart in control then these desires become like a pitt bull from the hood that is so out of control, when you see the owner walkin the dog it almost seems like the dog is walking them. The dog will bite anyone it feels like, and will be totally wreckless when it comes to its following desires.
Our heart is put into check through the rememberance of Allah swt, and our mind is put into check through the following of the Quran and Sunnah of Muhammed PBUH.
A speaker made a point that one who has an ego, will then poke their chest out and act in a manner of legislation without wisdom. Someone will come up to such a person and get them fired up and get them to say something that they shouldnt say and bam, they get thrown in jail cuz they didnt use hikmah in their speech and they followed their ego instead of following sound judgement.
I remember having a discussion with a brother once about how some people have so much energy when it comes to the deen when they first are exposed to it's pure form. This energy is the reason why I think many scholars put the first two steps of an Islamic Movement's ideology as 1) Knowledge and 2) Sincerity. This is because sincerity without knowledge is not what is going to save you necessarily. These rookie muslims come into the deen so pumped to follow the 'Quran and Sunnah' that they develop a sort of Intellectual Arrogance. They feel that they have now been rightly guided therefore every opinion must now be derived strictly from Quran and Hadith with no need for a sharh of the hadith or the commentary of a mufassir. We can just look through the books with our Yusuf Ali old english translation which is almost as difficult to understand as the arabic, and understand what the true way of implementing the deen is.
Where is our humility?
In my opinion this type of mentality is what has gotten many youths into the Jihadi movement because they feel that this type of method HAS to be right cuz 1) everyone is against it, and 2) they are raising the banner of Islam in all their videos so they gotta be the chosen ones.
Ignorance of the deen coupled with impatience with establishing the deen the way the Prophet did it has lead to many of our brothers choosing such a path, may Allah guide them to the correct path and make them among the foremost in opposing such a methodology of unbased jihadi theology...ameen.
Truely it is authentic scholarship which will guide us to the true way of getting out of this quick sand, and this method of trusting Islamic scholarship will only come about when the gap is bridged between those who have the daleel (Scholars) and those who seek the daleel, and this will only happen once we stop being arrogant thinking we can figure it all out on our own, and begin understanding that wisdom is not a right but it is a reward from Allah for those who struggle in His Path.
May Allah make us among those whom He loves...ameen
Retreat!!!
"Nothing is real until it is experienced"
This is what the sign read above the main cabin at the campgrounds of our retreat this past weekend.
Obviously this statement is contradictory to many points in our aqeedah but it definitely had me thinking the entire weekend about exactly what defines 'experience' and what exactly is 'real'.
There is something about driving a distance to a secluded camp site in the woods that just adds a different level of focus that can not be compared to a hotel room at a conference. You are downgrading your normal everyday lifestyle to a subpar standard of living, solely to gain Allah swt's pleasure and to reach a maqam closer to the Most High.
When we arrived to the site Friday we got prepared to pray Maghrib and the ameer of the retreat made a suggestion that definitely set the tone of the retreat. He reminded everyone of the need for khushu' in our salaah and recommended everyone to take a couple of minutes before the salaah started to just reflect on Allah swt silently and to prepare for the salaah as if it is our last. Subhan Allah the silence of the room was extremely tranquil as everyone was focused on the salah to come. One brother later described how he noticed that the ranks were naturally straight and the 'ameen' after surah Fatihah was in such a unison that it seemed as though we timed it perfectly. The brother continued and made the point that many say the uniformity of the 'ameen' after surah fatihah is a rather accurate measurement of the brotherhood in the jamaa'. Everyone was on que and on key, and this seemed to be a sign of good things to come for the weekend.
After Maghrib we made the adhkaar of the evening as was the Sunnah of the Prophet PBUH. It always surprises me how we possibly think we can be close to Allah swt or be on the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammed PBUH when we do not remember Allah in the morning and evening as is instructed in the Quran.
Saturday was scheduled to be a very long day so we went back to our cabins to sleep and energize for the day to come.
After Fajr we all went to the soccor fields and began doing warmup stretches and exercizes. We did this one old football drill we used to do when I played for my high school called Oklahoma's where you jog in place until the leader yells out 'HIT!' upon which you have to hit the floor ASAP doing a pushup and coming back up to your feet and jog. I was made to be the model of how this 'Hit' is supposed to look and of course when I heard the command, I hit the ground so hard that I almost knocked the wind out of my self. Im still feeling the soreness in my ribs.
Next we played the classic game of all camps: Square of death.
There are two teams and a rectangle is split in half evenly. One player from each team must venture across the divide and try to tag one of the players on the other side and get back safely without being tackled by the other team. If the player makes it back safely, then everyone he touched will be out. Our team went down 3 games to nill until I valiantly (and rather fortunately) nominated myself to go and tag the others, ran straight at one of the opposition without hesitating, and dragged ~4 of them on my back across the line mashallah. This energized my team to win the next 4 games until we finally tied in the 8th. Was probably the best game of SOD ive ever played, and I got the bruises and cuts to prove it.
Now let me skip forward a bit because I am boring myself with all the nitpicky details...
I was in charge of setting up the entertainment portion of the retreat and I got a bunch of bros/sisters from the camp to perform nasheeds/poetry, etc but I unfortunately had to miss the event as I had a wedding to go to.
***TANGENT ALERT!!!***
The wedding was for the only sister in our circle of family friends (other than my sis) who grew up with us and who I have known since day as far back as I can remember.
I could not help but feel weird when we went over to the girls side to take pics when I noticed her decked out in dulhan gear. She was really getting married! I remember playing basketball with her and playin video games, and now she was getting married. Her mother and aunts were all emotional during the ruksati and I couldnt help but look at their faces and remember them 15+ years ago when we are all little rugrats causing mad trouble.
Truely time is ever ticking...
***TANGENT OWWER***
I got back to the campsite after fajr Sunday and when I got there I noticed that the mood of the camp had definitely changed since id left. After the entertainment session there was a campfire during which some reflective activites had taken place and these activities really seemed to be affective as I noticed something in the air when we had breakfast, an even stronger sense of brotherhood than before.
At the end of the camp we had our normal conclusion which entails the brothers making a circle with the brothers and the sisters with themselves respectively, and going around to each person and allowing them to reflect on something they benefited from during the weekend.
Subhan Allah, the most profound thing I heard was probably something that the kid did not even consider profound, yet it really summarized what retreats and halaqaat are for us. The kid made an analogy between the retreat and playing tag. He said that when you play tag you are being chased by someone, and you have to try and avoid them and you do everything you can to not get caught, and then there is a base. When you get to base its safety for a certain amount of time like 10 or 15 seconds, and then you have to go out and run away from the tagger again. He said that retreats and halaqaat are like base for him for when Shaytaan is chasing him cuz he knows he is safe there, and then after this time runs out he has to go back to reality of avoiding the tagger.
I always told everyone who ever asked about my intentions when I go to things like retreats and conferences, that my number one intention is to network with the brothers. At retreats it never fails that I develop a genuine love for a brother for the sake of Allah, simply by being around them and noticing their demeanor. As the ameer of the retreat put it, I just hope that at events like this, people that I meet only once at this retreat and then never see again, I see them on the day of Judgement under the shade of Allah swt when there is no shade but his, and I am honored with this shade because of the love that we shared for the sake of Allah swt at the retreat.
May Allah make us among those whom He loves...ameen
GQ...
So im 23 years old now, and I was looking in my closet and realized that if some stranger were to come to my crib and go through my gear they would think some 19 year old thugged out dude lives here.
But thats not me anymore.
I dont listen to music anymore, I dont hang out with knuckle heads and im not 19. Im supposed to be graduating college and getting into the real world and I think its about time I dress like it.
I mean, dont get me wrong, white tees and timbs will be my casual gear for life inshallah, but I cant be goin out to restaurants with my homies (who are older pimp dressin dudes mashallah) wearin my thug gear.
So i had been lookin at a bunch of gear at different places and my Allah is it hard to be GQ and not be gay. Its like every shirt is cut to be tight on your body and every pair of pants looks almost like I would not be permitted to pray in em. Not to mention being GQ is not cheap by any means.
So I went to Hechts and they definitely were short on clothes of my taste. Who da hell wears linen shirts? I aint tryin to look like a freakin curtain!
So I remember overhearing one of my more pimp dressing homies talk about Express for Men and I laughed at first, not knowing that Express actually made mens clothes, but I heard they opened a store in our mall so I figured id check em out.
As soon as I walked in I saw the shirts i was gonna buy. Pin striped collar button downs of different colors that I could wear on Jeans or Dressy pants.
To make a long story short, I spent a bar on 3 shirts and a pair of pants, and got some Aqua Digio cologne to smell pretty too.
Ladies and Gentlemen: I have officially changed my steelo...
Suratul Qiyamah
1. I do call to witness the Resurrection Day;
2. And I do call to witness (an nafsal lawwaama) the self-reproaching spirit: (Eschew Evil).
3. Does man think that We cannot assemble his bones?
4. Nay, We are able to put together in perfect order the very tips of his fingers. (29 secs)
5. But man wishes to do wrong (even) in the time in front of him.
6. He questions: "When is the Day of Resurrection?"
7. At length, when the sight is dazed,
8. And the moon is buried in darkness.
9. And the sun and moon are joined together,-
10. That Day will Man say: "Where is the refuge?" (49 secs)
11. By no means! No place of safety! (54 secs)
12. Before thy Lord (alone), that Day will be the place of rest. (56 secs)
13. That Day will Man be told (all) that he put forward, and all that he put back.
14. Nay, man will be evidence against himself, (1 min 8 secs)
15. Even though he were to put up his excuses.
16. Move not thy tongue concerning the (Qur'an) to make haste therewith.
17. It is for Us to collect it and to promulgate it:
18. But when We have promulgated it, follow thou its recital (as promulgated):
19. Nay more, it is for Us to explain it (and make it clear):
20. Nay, (ye men!) but ye love the fleeting life, (1 min 34 secs)
21. And leave alone the Hereafter.
22. Some faces, that Day, will beam (in brightness and beauty);-
23. Looking towards their Lord; (1 min 45 secs)
24. And some faces, that Day, will be sad and dismal,
25. In the thought that some back-breaking calamity was about to be inflicted on them;
26. Yea, when (the soul) reaches to the collar-bone (in its exit), (1 min 58 secs)
27. And there will be a cry, "Who is a magician (to restore him)?"
28. And he will conclude that it was (the Time) of Parting;
29. And one leg will be joined with another:
30. That Day the Drive will be (all) to thy Lord!
31. So he gave nothing in charity, nor did he pray!- (3 min 50 secs)
32. But on the contrary, he rejected Truth and turned away!
33. Then did he stalk to his family in full conceit!
34. Woe to thee, (O men!), yea, woe! (4 mins 11 secs)
35. Again, Woe to thee, (O men!), yea, woe!
36. Does man think that he will be left uncontrolled, (without purpose)? (4 mins 19 secs)
37. Was he not a drop of sperm emitted (in lowly form)?
38. Then did he become a leech-like clot; then did ((Allah)) make and fashion (him) in due proportion.
39. And of him He made two sexes, male and female.
40. Has not He, (the same), the power to give life to the dead? (5 mins 5 secs)
Picnicakkk
Is there anything better than a masjid picnic on a beautiful summer day?
Just to hear the sound of happy children laughing and playing is enough to make me happy.
Water balloon fights, dunk tank, Jousting, face painting, cotton candy, bbq, basketball, masjid packed so much that people had to pray in the library.
These types of events just define what summer is.
Drug Dealer...
Working at the pharmacy has really made me depressed.
Birth Control
Ambien
Wellbutrin
Percocet/Vicodin
Viagra
Lunesta
Adderal/Ritalin
Plan B
Valtrex
What is wrong with this society?
People are so drugged up its not even funny, yet they dont care to change their lifestyles. Theyd rather take a pill that would make the symptoms go away, and continue on doing what theyre doing.
What is the difference between a crackhead in the ghetto who is buying an illegal drug from a dealer on a corner, and a rich business man who gets his doctor friend to write him prescriptions for pain killers every month, gets a legitimiate pharmacy to fill the script, and then has his insurance cover most of it as he pays a copay for his fix.
Is the latter somehow better than the former because he went through the system to get a legal high while the other dude is doing something 'illegal'?
This society needs Islam.
It seems like 1 out of every 5 people I help is getting either a depression medication or something that can let them sleep at night. These are not just people in a social low class or something, im talking doctors lawyers and the like. People who come into my line looking like they got it made, can not even get by without taking something to ease their pain.
If they had ALlah swt in their lives there would be no way that they would have these problems.
Then I get young girls who come in to get their birth control, then older girls come in and get valtrex and depression medication. Its almost like i see these girls starting off on one level and then getting into this cycle.
Its making me sick.
May Allah protect us from such a life where we depend on medication to get us through the day...ameen
Wallahi...
This Dunya is absolutely nothing.
You think that you see something which will please you, it will not.
You see something difficult to leave, leave it and it will be replaced by something better.
Let it Go.
Let it Go.
Let it Go.
Close your eyes...take a deep breath in...exhale.
That breath that you just took will never come back.
How did you use that breath?
Did you use it to remember Allah?
Did it benefit you in the least bit?
Will you see that breath on your scale in the hearafter?
Really, what is it about this place that hypnotizes us??!! It is absolutely nothing! If this lowly and temporary pleasure pleases you, then just imagine Jannah: A place MADE TO PLEASE YOU!!!
The word Dunya itself comes from the word that means lowest. This place is not even made to please us yet it does, imagine the pleasure of the place made strictly to please those who Believe.
Oh brothers and sisters. This life is short. Consider it 5 stages.
1) Birth and Development
2) Education
3) Establishment
4) Fruits of Establishment
5) Death
Today you are in one bubble, tomorrow you will be in another.
Yesterday we were children, today we are adults, and tomorrow we will be in our graves.
Take heed to my advice.
Repent. Make Dhikr. Increase in extra worship. Let go of this world.
Rollercoaster...
What a day...
The day started out with news that Zarqawi was killed in Iraq. Obviously his methodology to expunge the lands of Iraq of these occupation was a methodology that I dont agree with nor condone. The rules of warfare in Islamic Law clearly disallow terrorism as a means of Jihad, period.
But then why am I sad?
As a muslim we know that our message is that of mercy and compassion to all that exists: Humans, animals, plants, land, everything. It is our responsibility as Muslims to love for our brother what we love for ourselves.
So why would I love to see my brother in Islam have 2 500 pound bombs dropped on his head?
No matter what sin this brother commits he is still my brother and it is my responsibility to do whatever I can possibly do to get him to stop what he is doing. For me to cheer and rejoice that he was killed is absolutely unacceptable. We should be saddened that this brother of ours chose this methodology and (to our knowledge) was killed on such a path.
Do we not know the story of the man who killed 99 men, and then sought out Allah's Mercy and Forgiveness! Do you not know that on his search for this forgiveness he killed another servant of Allah because he told him he could not be forgiven for his sins? Do we not know that this murderer died on his way to seek maghfiraah and was accepted into Jannah because of his striving to seek Allah's pleasure?
How could we be happy that our brother in Islam was killed doing something that could land him in Jahannum wa naudhubillah? Where is our brotherhood?
Do we wish to please Allah or do we wish to please the kuffar?
If we wish to please Allah then we pray that Allah swt guides our brothers to the right path, forgives them their sins, and grants them Jannah because has hideously dispicable the crime of terrorism is, we should not wish hellfire on our brothers. We should wish that Allah accepts whatever they have put forward in good and allows them to be within His Mercy.
A continuation...
Subhan Allah...
The NY Rep made a post that included things in it that I was wanting to post about for about a week now, and I just didnt know how I wanted to tackle the particular thoughts I wished to express.
Then I read
the post and it almost felt as if I wrote it since it covered much of what I was wanting to talk about.
Muhammed PBUH used to make dua to Allah swt that He swt protect our Nabi from a sudden death. I remember reading about that and I reflected on how hadhrat A'isha ra and the other wives of the Prophet PBUH, how bibi Faatima ra, how Abu Bakr Umar Uthman and Ali ra along with the other ashaab would have reacted had the Prophet PBUH died suddenly without any signs of his imminent death.
How terrible a thing that would be?
It would feel like it was dawn and you are expecting the sun to be there to brighten up the path which you have intended to take and that sun never came out, and you are left in the dark. Not just that, but it would feel as though you are already on a path following a guide and the guide suddenly disappears and you have no idea where to go since you have not prepared yourself to a point where you are self sufficient to guide yourself.
How lonely a feeling!
The pain of a sudden death is something I pray Allah protects me and you from, as I know that I would not want anyone in my fam or immediate circle of beloved brothers and sisters to die unexpectedly as this might devestate me.
But truely it was my going through the pain of a sudden death of this type that brought me to recognize the importance of every second of every day.
I remember I was asked to give a halaqa at a local masjid last year dealing with the rememberance of death. It was for the youth and these particular youth were some 'thuggs' who seemed very rough and tough. Yet I narrated this very story of what it was that awakened me and opened my eyes to the importance of our purpose on earth, and we all sat together and cried.
Many do not know this, but the Gandaghee project was manifested during a qiyam we had during Ramadan. One of the guys called Aatif and I and told us that his boys were not using Ramadan to remember Allah swt, and that he really didnt know what to do. He felt really depressed about it to the point where he was going to just leave these dudes and not come back, so we told him to come and hang with us. After hanging for a while we prayed and wrote a script prayed and then wrote another script, until finally we decided to go VA where those guys were and just Tableeki Jamaat style turn their place into a qiyam. The bro who was concerned asked me to lead salaah and give a short talk. I ended up talking about this very thing as well and the importance of good friendship. Again, it hit home to these kids and they recognized the importance of using each second of Ramadan wisely as you never know when your gonna go. Everyone knows they have to, but when you hear a real life story dealing with something like this then you can almost put your self in the position and internalize the pain suffered by another.
My clique of homies back in high school was not necessarily the type of guys who had a good influence on me. We used to go out and do dumb stuff, and the year I graduated we had gotten cars and we would drive around Bmore city and act a fool. We became a really really tight crew and you almost bet that any given night I was with these dudes doin it up.
Summer of 2000, I graduated High School and was on top of the world. I was driving back from somewhere I shouldnt have been, chillin with people I dont hang with anymore, and im driving my van. Im followin my boy cuz we're goin to DC from Bmore and I dont know how to get onto the highway and he is drivin like a maniac. I am tryin to keep up, and i dont notice the guy in front of me hit the breaks. I am certain ima hit em so I swerve to the left and skid. A car hits me from behind forcing me to hit the car in front of me and I swerve across the oncomming traffic. Allah decrees that there are cars coming across and so I swerve straight into the curb on the opposite side of the road. Im going so fast that I hit the curb, go airborn, and land in the grass beyond the curb. I wasnt wearing any seatbelt but I managed to hold on to the arm rest keeping myself from hitting the winshield.
I had never felt such a feeling of helplessness in my life.
When my car skid I had no control over anything that was going on, and it was clear to me that what Allah swt decreed was going to happen right then, and Allah swt had it written that I would come out unscathed. This was just the start of my summer car crash experiences that year.
So a week later I went to Houston to chill with my bro for a couple of weeks (he was living out there back then) and before I left I hung out with em one last time. A few days into my vacation I get a phone call like 8AM. Its one of my boys telling me that my homies who I hung out with so often had gotten into a serious car accident.
Driving was my boy Ade, shotgun was his cuzzin Waliy Rabb (Muslim), back left to right was Etiene, Varny, and Reese. At around 3AM Ade was going 120 MPH around a tight turn and he had been drinking. He ran straight into a tree, had no seat belt on so he flew straight through the winshield and died instantly. Waliy didnt have his seatbelt on either and his head hit the dash board so hard that his face was literally stuck to it. They had to cut his face off in order to get him out. Etiene had a huge gash in his neck and fractured his skull, Varny had numerous internal injuries to his organs and the impact knocked his teeth out, while Reese walked away from the crash nearly unharmed.
This devastated me.
Surely Allah swt protected me from this accident by placing me in Houston that day, because there was a 95% chance that if I was home, I woulda been with these dudes.
So by the time I get back, Ade had been buried (many of my friends were angry with me because I wasnt at the funeral until they found out I was out of town) Varny and Etiene had surgeries done and they were no longer critical, yet Waliy, the only Muslim in the crew other than me, was in a coma. His head had swollen up so big that you could not even recognize him and they did not think he was going to make it.
Now Waliy was Muslim, but did not know the smallest thing about the deen. He knew he was muslim because his father, who was in prison doing a long term bid, was muslim. I used to give em a little dawah but nothing super serious cuz obviously I wasnt really practicing my self.
As soon as I got back my dad and I went to visit him at Shock Trauma yet we got there too late to get in. Then we went again a few weeks later and found out that he had just been transferred to a NJ hospital closer to his family.
At this point I am so blown that I didnt get to see him, yet I continue treading through my life.
A few months go by and I get word that he has gotten out of the coma and is in a rehab facility in Jersey. Im thrilled, but still just moving with my life not thinking about reaching out to him or anything, thinking that he probably doesnt even remember me after all the brain damage.
About a year and some months go by, and my sister (who was still in high school) tells me that Waliy just moved back in town and is finishing up his school at the old high school. He was in a wheel chair and the brain damage had left him mentally challenged to a degree.
For some selfish reason I still didnt seek him out, probably because I felt guilty about not getting to see him when he was sick.
But one Jummah, after salaah I turn around and he is there! I could not believe it. I went to say salaams but it was so busy that by the time I got to the back he was already gone.
Apparently he had talked to one of his teachers, who was a muslimah, and told her that his iman was really low. He was really concerned about it so she had her husband hang out with him in order to get his spirits back up. He had brought him to jummah that day.
The next week I went to pick my sis up from school and I see him out front of the school. I jump outta the car thinking that this kid probably isnt even gonna recognize me yet he slowly is like 'heyy....my...man....ib..bu...whats goin on man?'
He said he needed a ride home and we talked on our way to his house. As he got out of the car I asked em if I would see em at Jummah that week. Slowly he responded in the negative, telling me that he had a surgery scheduled for his eye and that he wouldnt be able to make it. He told us to pray for him, and he left.
That weekend I find out that he died from complications in the surgery for his eye.
This was the final crack in my foundation of materialistic worldly existence and broke me out of the cocoon that formed over my being and the callus on top of my heart.
This kid knew NOTHING about this deen, absolutely minimal understanding of Islam yet he knew that Islam was the truth. His father had been in prison his entire life, and his mother wasnt Muslim, yet he maintained his identity. Then after all this pain and suffering in this dunya. He went from a kid who carried around a hair brush in school brushing his waves in between classes, to someone with a reconstructed face. After all this, as soon as he got his senses back the first thought he had was Allah swt. His relationship with Allah swt had deteriorated and he wanted that relationship to get stronger, and he sought out the means to mend the relationship when he did not even have legs that worked properly!! He wheeled his way to his teacher and he walkered his self to Jummah, and he died insha ALlah with Iman in his heart.
What will I say to Allah swt that day when Allah swt asks me why I did not reach out to Waliy and give him more dawah. I was blessed with a family who was all muslim who practiced Islam and had a culture of Islam yet I did not even try to bring him closer to Allah swt. Instead we shared in ignorance and I lowered myself knowing that I shouldnt, while he knew no better.
This guilt is something that fuels me till today as most certainly I will be held accountable for my heedlessness. I pray that Waliy forgives me for such selfishness, and that Allah swt judges me with His Mercy and not His Justice...ameen
How many of us have anything even CLOSE to this type of adversity in our lives?
How many of us fold after a minor bump in the road, angry with Allah swt, al Ghaniyyul Hameed, because He swt allowed us to go through such an insignificant harship?
The pain of a sudden death is most definitely a pain that none of us want to endure, but death is certain. Death is certain and life is not, so how can we possibly live for that which is not certain and ignore that which is most definitely on its way?
Allah is Truth, His Mercy is Truth, His Love is Truth, His Jannah is Truth, and His Jahannam is Truth. Ya Allah make us among those whom you love! Ya Allah make our good deeds heavy on the scales and make our bad deeds lighter than a feather that Day! Ya Allah make our paths blessed paths which end in Your Paradise!
Ya Allah accept Waliy's good deeds and erase all of his evil deeds! Ya Allah make his record honored and make him one of the siddeeqeen! Ya Allah make Waliy's grave an expansive garden of Paradise!!
Ameen.
Beard steez...
Before
After
So I was at my boys house a couple days back, and he was imploring me to allow him to trim my beard. I was like helll nawwww cuz first of all, I cut my own hair, and second of all, I was growing it out fist length sunnah style so I didnt wanna bother its natural progression.
But he proposed a design to me of fading in the sides (since the sides had been growing at a faster rate than the bottom) and not touching the bottom as to maintain the fist.
I took his idea, went home, and decided that I would give it a shot. I had no idea that there was THAT much hair on da sides!!
I took the first pic that night, and it turned out to be rather gangsta so i made it my celly's wallpaper. I was at a dawat at Aatif's cuzzin's crib and all the aunties were there. Obviously they are gonna as me how Aatif is engaged and im still single.
Aatif's mom swore she had someone for me already as did his aunts, telling me that I need to be moving on rishta stuff. So I showed em the pic and told em I wasnt getting any girls calling back after showing em my rishta pic. They all were scared when they saw the pic LOL.
The pics look like 2 different people almost, but khayr, I think I still maintained the integrity of the beard, and now when it grows longer it'll really grow in fist length status cuz I didnt touch the bottom at all.
Shout out to all my bearded bros out there! Sisters think wearin a hijab is hard, try having a beard and tell me how easy it is to maintain!
PS: Would you be my friend if I really smiled like that?
Pooetry
Heres a start to a poem im working on. Tell me what you think...
O you endowed with beauty
Are you to be sought for that over which you have no control?
Or is it your heart upon which the seeker should lay their gaze?
Truely training is evident upon tissue
Thus its strength is manifest
And surely the cultivation of the heart is manifest
On the face of the believer
No worldly beauty
can compare to His Light
