A Moment...
Maryam
My honor
My trust, my life and my love
Im drugged
by arms, by feet, by eyes and by hugs
I rub
Your back as you sleep relaxed on my chest
You rest
unknowing of death or passing of tests
You rest
Unknowing your flesh is uncertain as breath
You rest
Unknowing your breath is uncertain as flesh
Unless
Your Lord has written you as preferred
Unless
Your actions match and back up your words
Unless
Priority is, sincerity's first
I pray
You become like the one for who you were named
I pray
You come out of this world with record unscathed
I pray
That your life is success the rest of your days
And that your light shines brighter than the sun and its rays
The only thing happening in my life...
So I have to correct the spelling of my nieces name. My bro decided on Maryam Sultana Zuberi with a y.
So when she was born I was reluctant to hold her. I was afraid that this little fragile being would fall victim to my clumsy self, that my knees would buckle, and I something might happen to her, so I didnt dare pick her up.
But last night I did it.
I held this little miracle in my arms for the first time. My bro had decided that he wouldnt find out what the gender of the baby was before the delivery, and I couldnt understand why. In my opinion all it did was make it difficult for us to by clothes and stuff. But then I realized: when you focus on gender you tend to ignore the more important thing which is the health of the child and alhumdulillah the baby is healthy.
I really wanted a girl because there are only 4 women who are mahrem in my family (mom, khala, nani and sis) and I could use a little girl to soften me up a bit.
Heres some more pics of the little squirt:
Mariam Sultana Zuberi
Today was one of the craziest days of my life.
As you can see by my visual aids, it snowed like a foot and a half overnight and it could not have come at a worse time. My 9 month pregnant sister in law was feeling contractions, and we had to shovel out the car so that they could get to the hospital. It took a good couple of hours and the car got stuck 3 different times in 3 different places, but we got it out walhumdulillah.
My fam all went to the hospital except for me and my sis who was asleep. I get a phone call from my peeps, they are gonna have to do a C section because the baby was face up in the womb and would not be able to come out normally.
Needless to say my fam was a little worried.
I grabbed some random clothes, woke my sis up who threw something on and we drove as fast as we could (which wasnt fast at all cuz it was snow on the road) to the hospital. We get there, and everyone is in the waiting room making dua. 10 minutes after I get there, a nurse comes and tells us that the baby was born and everything was successful. 'Guess what she had' the nurse jokes as my rents yell out 'boy!' and they find out that they are wrong. Its a girl!!
So on to the name game.
Right before I left the house to go to the hospital I had gotten together my top 5 names for a boy and 5 for a girl. I wrote down my 5 girl names and alas, my number one choice was also my moms first choice, which was my fathers and also one of my sister's. I tell my bro, he agrees as does my bro's mother in law. We have yet to ask my sis in law (which I hope is not a problem)
But at 3:33PM, my niece Mariam Sultana Zuberi was born, 5 lbs 11oz 19" long.
Thats my bro up there, believe it or not but he looks as though he matured right there. He became an uncle sahib right in front of my eyes.
Next came the sunnah. I was about to leave and go to the crib to pray maghrib, but my sis in law didnt let me leave. She wanted me to give the adhan and iqaama in my niece's ear. I wanted my bro to do it, but he also wanted me to have the honor. Subhan Allah, what am amazing feeling.
So the day is over. 
About a half hour after my niece was born, I was there in the waiting room making Asr. I was in sajdah and I was making dua for my family. Ammi, Abba, Saadia, Anwer, Shaista baji, and then Mariam.
Subhan Allah, a half hour before Mariam didnt exist and now i was in salah making dua for her. It blew my mind the power of Allah swt, Al Muhyi, the Giver of Life. In an instant my brother became a father, his wife a mother. The responsibility that they are now holding in their hands is great. My mother and father became grandparents. To me I am still their young son and them my young parents. Now they are grandparents? How amazing? To me they are not old yet to Mariam, when she gets older she is going to consider us old timers. My sis is now a puppo (spell check DAT one) and im a chacha. Someone with great hikmah told me that I should tell her to call me Chachu to which i conceded.
I pray that Mariam becomes like her name suggests, a leader of the women in Paradise.
Ameen
"peace"
Yesterday when I got home from school my father seemed kinda down. He told me that a dear uncle of ours who had a stroke (his 3rd i believe) was in rather bad shape. He had been in a rehab facility but it wasnt looking good. My dad was talking about how its been a while since he went and visited him so I told him we should go and visit him now and he got ready and we went.
We walked into his room and subhan Allah, he was laying awake in a bed by himself in the room with no lights on. The bed was about 6 inches off of the ground with padding around it so im assuming he had been falling out of it. As soon as we walk in he begins to try and speak. 'by you, by you, by you' he kept on repeating. I didnt know what he was talking about so I just nodded my head. He then shook his head no and repeated 'by you, by you' but this time I could tell by his animation that he was instructing us to sit. I grabbed my father the only chair in the room and the uncle then said 'peace'.
When he said peace I thought to myself that subhan Allah, this uncle's stroke must have crossed some signals in his brain and he can not even express to us what he really wants to say. He then again started saying 'by you, by you' until I myself then found somewhere to sit upon which he again exclaimed 'ahh, peace'.
My father and I were speechless.
Only 6 months earlier my father was on what some including myself thought was his death bed. He was extremely close to passing away and this very uncle was in good health and had come to visit my father. He sat by my father's side and talked to him even though he was intubated and was unconscious from the drugs. My father looked as though he was almost moved to tears and was therefore speechless.
As we sat there, the uncle kept on repeating the word 'peace'. He would look at me dead in the eye and say 'peace' and shake his head side to side. He would do this for almost a minute straight until I would affirm him that 'peace will be soon insha Allah. We are all praying for you.' Upon which his eyes would leave mine and he would again look towards the ceiling muttering 'peace...peace'. No less than 2 minutes later he would again say 'peace, peace, peace, peace...peace' as he stared directly into my eyes. I almost cried right there. My father would say 'insha Allah' every time he said peace but the uncle kept saying it.
I made dua for him aloud, and affirmed him that the community had him in their duas, and that just a few months ago he was visiting my father the same way he was now being visited, so he had to just be patient and that insha Allah he would be fine. He then shook his head affirmatively and again repeated the word 'peace'.
After we left, I was reflecting upon what the uncle was saying. This uncle is from overseas so you would think that if his brain went backwards he would be speaking in urdu but no, he was saying peace in english.
Why?
Why did he keep insisting on that word out of all other words. Sure when he said 'by you' I had no idea what he was saying but peace? He said it clearly and so many times that it had to mean something.
I remember after the second stroke only months before this third one, I would always say salaam to him and ask him how he was doing. He would always respond 'garee chal ree hain' (the car is running). Subhan Allah, how simple yet profound a statement.
He knew his body was just a vehicle, a vehicle to get him from point A to B, from the womb to the tomb. When he said peace, now to me it meant that he is just awaiting that which is inevitable. He is telling us to have 'peace' and not to be too worried, and he is telling himself to have 'peace' and to be patient with what is going on, and for everyone to have 'peace' within themselves knowing that this world is temporary and any trial we are going through will definitely end.
I pray that Allah swt grants shifaa' to uncle Nazir Baig, and that Allah makes this hardship a tazkiyya of his sins leaving him absolutely sinless. I pray that when he does leave this world that he leaves it with an account clean of bad deeds and that he finds peace in his last breath. I pray that Allah grant his family patience and strength in this trying time and that this also is a cleansing for their sins. Ameen
Marriage Post # 3
In fiqi of Love (yes I took fiqi of Love) we learned an important concept known as the 'suitable match'. Scholars basically say that any girl can be good enough for a man, but not any man can be good for any girl. What this means is that for instance a King can marry say a servant, and she will become a Queen, but a Princess can not marry a servant and him become a King. So therefore a sister must accept a man who she feels is suitable for her status.
Why is this on my mind? Because I do not consider myself to be a 'suitable match' for many of the sisters on my list. Its like, Im a grimy dude. I might say something that a fragile girl might break from, or I might not care about something that a girly girl's heart would break about. Heck, I have a sister who herself has become boyish in her attitude by hanging out with me and has (for the most part) rejected her girly inclinations.
Also, I am somewhat spoiled. Yes, I am not lying, I am spoiled. So does that mean I search for a sister who is known to 'spoil'? Is that possible? Like, im the middle child and have been labelled by many to be the 'ladla bacha' of my mother, who is treated extra special. Should I look for a sister who is maybe the oldest child, one who is used to taking care of a family and is not in need of being babied? I dont consider myself someone who is spoiled sooo much that there is no way I could change. I take care of myself in alot of ways, but some things I just dont do IE regular housework. Is that something I should tell a sister before we get married?
I have struggled financially for the better part of 6 years. My rents (may Allah reward them and grant them the highest levels of Jannah) left it upon me to pay for school, so I worked close to full time and went to school full time. Now I have two jobs and pay for school cash, and by the mercy of Allah swt have only a few semesters left insha Allah to complete my degree and to come out being debt free. Now in order for that to work I had to sacrifice alot, and I know what it means to sacrifice. I feel that I would want a wife who also has sacrificed through her life, and has seen hard times because it could be that hard times might fall again. How would she react to such a situation if she has never ever felt hardship?
Late night rant about marriage...classic.
Floetry...
So theres a concept poem ive had swimming around in my mind for a couple of months now, and i finally got started on it. I dont wanna give away the concept just yet, but here is a VERY preliminary version of how it is gonna start. Its wack, but it'll get fixed dont worry. Peep...
What is this?
Feeling that I feeling that I feel inside.
Feels like a piece of me just died…
Along with those 5
Palestinians
Who got hit by a tank shell
Claims of Lineage
Imprisoned nations without bail
Soundin silly when
A kid grows up right there
Grabs a semi and
Unloads on everyone with no care
But Israeli’s is
Lookin Blind and got no brail
To why the city is
Waving black flags and rife-els
Like I said, it needs work. Ive been having trouble translating my feelings into rhyme which is why its taken me so long. Insha Allah I will have an easier time with it later.
Im not a circus clown...
So people think I have stage fright. No...I do not have stage fright. There is a deep reason why when I am asked by anyone to 'perform' something or to host some type of comedy or entertainment event that I usually defer. Its because I am not a circus clown. Granted, I completely understand if someone asks me to host an event and I am honored to have been considered, But im talkin about when people come up and randomly ask me to entertain them. Thats not what i do. Thats not what i want to be known for. That is an aspect of my personality, not my entire personality.
I hate when someone sees me and is like 'hey your from gandaghee!!' and then they expect me to do something to make them laugh. Do i look like im wearin face paint and big clown shoes! I am not here to entertain you on command!
It really irritates me when people think my entire life revolves around Gandaghee, or Gandaghee II for that matter. As if every waking moment of the day I am thinking of how I am going to make you laugh.
That is not me.
I do not want to be raised on the DOJ as a clown, or as someone who goofed off during their time on earth. I spend my time in things which i hope will be counted as good deeds and thus enter me into the Gardens. Gandaghee was more of an extention of the knowledge that I had gained than the comedy it had. I know I can make people laugh, its something Allah swt has blessed me with walhumdulillah. The task at hand wasnt to make people laugh, but to try and give naseehah to struggling youth about things that they dont want naseehah for. What kid will sit through a movie talking about the proper way to make ruku? Not one! But they did in gandaghee. Who wants to hear about gender relations, sufi vs salafi fights, Aamina Wadud and her like, and unity of a muslim nation? Nobody, but Gandaghee II insha Allah is going to have all that AND some.
So next time you see me, or any muslim who might have some type of Islamic Entertainment out, give them salaams and ask how they are, and make dua for them. Dont run up to them asking for an autograph.
I am nobody. I struggle like everyone else.
My little cuzzin asked me how it felt to be a muslim celebrity. I was like, celebrity? He was like 'when we went to Houston that guy recognized you from the movie!'. I answered him with an answer that I hope does not offend you all or gross you out, but I told him that my doodoo still stinks.
Maryam
