Marriage Post # 3
In fiqi of Love (yes I took fiqi of Love) we learned an important concept known as the 'suitable match'. Scholars basically say that any girl can be good enough for a man, but not any man can be good for any girl. What this means is that for instance a King can marry say a servant, and she will become a Queen, but a Princess can not marry a servant and him become a King. So therefore a sister must accept a man who she feels is suitable for her status.Why is this on my mind? Because I do not consider myself to be a 'suitable match' for many of the sisters on my list. Its like, Im a grimy dude. I might say something that a fragile girl might break from, or I might not care about something that a girly girl's heart would break about. Heck, I have a sister who herself has become boyish in her attitude by hanging out with me and has (for the most part) rejected her girly inclinations.
Also, I am somewhat spoiled. Yes, I am not lying, I am spoiled. So does that mean I search for a sister who is known to 'spoil'? Is that possible? Like, im the middle child and have been labelled by many to be the 'ladla bacha' of my mother, who is treated extra special. Should I look for a sister who is maybe the oldest child, one who is used to taking care of a family and is not in need of being babied? I dont consider myself someone who is spoiled sooo much that there is no way I could change. I take care of myself in alot of ways, but some things I just dont do IE regular housework. Is that something I should tell a sister before we get married?
I have struggled financially for the better part of 6 years. My rents (may Allah reward them and grant them the highest levels of Jannah) left it upon me to pay for school, so I worked close to full time and went to school full time. Now I have two jobs and pay for school cash, and by the mercy of Allah swt have only a few semesters left insha Allah to complete my degree and to come out being debt free. Now in order for that to work I had to sacrifice alot, and I know what it means to sacrifice. I feel that I would want a wife who also has sacrificed through her life, and has seen hard times because it could be that hard times might fall again. How would she react to such a situation if she has never ever felt hardship?
Late night rant about marriage...classic.
posted by Iboo LaL @ 10:52 PM
Comments: 2
