For my Sisters...
Hey Sisters,I felt as though it was my duty to pass along this naseehah to you all since I am a guy, and I think advice like this many guys are afraid to touch upon, but alhumdulillah, Im not very shy in this regard.
The advice is not in response to something that just one person did, nor is it necessarily directed at anyone in particular. Its just that I have heard about this particular issue before and its something I dont think that you girls even realize your doing, so ima throw it out there, you can take it how you like insha Allah.
If there is a guy who is a practicing Muslim, that has even the most remote possibility of being interested in you, and there is even a slight possibility that you might entertain the brother's proposal if he were to even approach for marriage, then dont, I repeat...DONT under any circumstances for any reason talk about another guy that you are interested in, or talk about some pre-rishta situation your dealing with currently.
You may feel compelled to talk to someone about an issue that your dealing with, and there could be a guy who you respect and think could give you some good advice, if this guy fits the aforementioned description, DO NOT tell him about any situations your in with another guy. If you know that the main thing you want to talk about doesnt have to really deal with another guy, and that the other guy could possibly be left out of the description of your issue your dealing with, then by any means necessary KEEP THE GUY OUT OF IT!!!
The guy will think that you told him for 3 possible reasons:
1) You want to let him know that you are really not interested in him and that you see him as just a good brother in the community who can help with your problem.
2) You want to introduce a 'third wheel' in order to draw a reaction out of the brother. Yes, you sisters do do this, dont deny it. You dont even realize it but it does happen.
3) You want to let the brother know that you have other people who are interested in you and are approaching you, so you want to maybe let the brother know that if he wants to make any moves then he better get to movin.
If you do something like this, know that the brother will be absolutely confused trying to figure out which of the 3 reasons you told him for, and if he was interested in you, he will not know if you are trying to tell him to leave you alone.
Guys who practice and dont date, they can be rather insecure about this sort of thing so anything like this will make them feel even more unsure.
So bottom line, something like this is not a good idea. Find someone who you KNOW your not getting married to, if you dont find someone like that then keep the situation ambiguous without showing any emotion for this other guy, and by any means do NOT talk about the guy's looks. Any guy who practices this deen is going to have some level of gheerah (legitimate jealousy) and will not appreciate something like that.
Be good my sisters, and I got your back on letting you inside the world of the brothers.
posted by Iboo LaL @ 9:04 AM
Comments: 7
