Interest vs Compatibility
What is it that we feel like we need to almost be secretly interviewing anyone of the opposite gender who is a 'prospect' of any sorts?
I mean, it is understandable at some level and acceptable to gauge how you might feel about a person IE the list. But the list has fallacies.
Yes, the list concept is not foolproof.
To me there is a 4 step process to marriage.
1) Search
2) Interest
3) Compatibility
4) Acceptance
This strategy is like a funnel because as you go farther into this process the closer you are to finding the right one, but each one of these steps has to be done correctly.
These steps can only work if done properly. That means that you don't reach out to a person directly, and if you are talking to them and develop an interest, that you do everything to cut off any casual contact that you might have with them or else you might develop some really gay elementary schoolish feelings type of garbage which can lead to narrowmindedness resulting in skewed logic.
Now I myself feel that there is a HUGE difference between the steps of interest and compatibility. Interest is something that can happen anywhere anytime and you can assess your interest rather easily, and can find out if the other party is interested just as easily. But some might think that compatibility can also be accessed as easily as interest.
Compatibility is a VERY delicate step and can only properly be assessed after both parties have convened properly, the environment is then controlled and clear, and direct questions are asked. If you think that you can assess whether or not you are compatilble with a person just by judging something they may have said in passing, then you are really really far off.
Say that your speaking online for instance. How can you judge a person's tone? What if the person is totally not understanding what your talking about and they are misinterpreting what you mean, and you think they are responding to something yet they are responding to something completely different, can you possibly hold their response against them? What if the person is talking to 6 people at the same time and they aren't even paying attention to what your sayin, and you are analyzing their every word? Can you really think that your gonna find out how a person reacts to particular situations by posing anecdotes and then assuming that the person understands completely the situation your setting up, and then you have somehow understood what you think is this person?
You can completely miss a person's true personality if you try and just figure them out through shallow online conversations, and this can be tragic sometimes as what you think a person is like can sometimes be extremely far from the truth. How can a person possibly defend themself then after you have a preconceived notion on how they are, based on some flimsy proof! It could ruin something that could possibly be a great thing.
If you want to find out about a person who is not necessarily in your local area then here is a hint: Ask someone who knows them or someone who knows someone who knows them!
Now I am brown, and I know that at least brown people for a FACT can find a BRAZILIAN different people who know another brown person anywhere in the US. So if you wanna know about how a person REALLY is, why don't you ask someone who knows em? Don't rely on your own intuition because there is a reason that the Prophet PBUH said that it is ok to say something bad about a person when you are approached about a person for marriage or business purposes. It reveals TRUE evidence on how a person is.
To think that you might actually be incorrect on what you think a person is truly like is something that should force a person to take the proper avenues, that if there is an interest, then you don't just rate compatibility on info that has a strong possibility of not being correct. You go all out in your research of you are serious, and you will be surprised how honest people can be when you ask em about someone you are interested in.
Someone you think is absolutely great can be revealed to have a terrible rep wa nauthubillah, and someone you think is really not compatible with you might actually show to be someone totally different.
Don't think that your gonna go at something that is this delicate on your own! It aint gonna work!
If any of you sisters ever need to know about any dude and how he is, then holler at me cuz I tend to know everyone or know someone who knows em. I got yalls back!!
A Semester of Growth...
Never did I think that I would be at the point that I am now.
Never did I think that this semester I would learn finally learn what Islam is.
Never did I think that I would meet people who without them even knowing would nurture my heart solely through companionship.
Jeffrey Lang came to the University of Maryland a couple weeks ago and he spoke about the spiritual growth of a person. To answer a question about the requirements for Jannah he drew this diagram that was simple yet full of wisdom.
He drew a straight line near the top of the board, and drew arrows going up to that line from various starting points which were at variable distances from the line he drew.
He described this sketch as what people ignorantly feel is the 'requirement' for entering Paradise. People think that there is like a certain something that is to be done in order to enter it just like a test in school has a set grade for an A, etc.
He then drew another diagram which had different starting points for the arrows, and each arrow was drawn with variable lengths stopping at different heights.
This was what he described as the growth of a human being's soul. We will be judged not on where we end up, but on what we did with the circumstance we were given.
How much we grew is what we will be judged on.
So this leads me into the first tangent:
My understand of what fiqi is was so narrow that it inhibited me from practicing Islam comfortably. I had been coached by my environment to not trust the traditional Ulema of our Ummah, particularly the ulema of the indian subcontinent.
I saw them as backwards because I never heard them talk about how I need to read hadith and the such, instead they would just give me rulings and tell me to follow em.
How could I possibly follow that path? How could I follow a person?
Questions like this lead me to fill myself with a form of arrogance, thinking that I can learn this deen on my own by reading the works of fuqaha and deciding what was 'more authentic'.
What a freakin joke that statement is.
How could I think that I am going to be able to look at some complex jurispudic ruling, evaluate many of them, and pick one which is more 'authentic' without any knowledge of anything compared to these gargantuan Scholars of Islam!
Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq compared doing something like this to someone who goes to a doctor and is diagnosed with cancer, a form that if immediately treated with chemo it would go away. Then the patient goes home, consults books about his symptoms, consults the opinions of various doctors, and then decides that he is going to form a different opinion that he feels is more authentic based on his understanding.
How could someone who is lower in knowledge claim to have the ability to know and understand the usul of the various fiqhs, why doesnt this person just become a mujtahid of his own right instead of even consulting other rulings?!!
I reflected hard core on the path I was on because I was not content with where I was spirtually.
I remembered the khushoo' I had before I stopped recognizing scholarship, and I longed for that feeling again.
This lead me to making hard core dua, and Allah swt blessed me with people who presented to me clearly what traditional Islam was, and its legitimacy.
For instance the Hanafi Madhab is a school of thought that people ridicule and mock because they are accused of following qiyas over proofs. Yet I sat in the company of scholars of the hanafi madhab who are muhadditheen, and quote saheeh hadith for anything they ever give a ruling about.
And when you ask the people of the school, they can easily refute that issue and make extremely clear the fact that the school is merely the preservation of the jurispudic methodology of none other than Abdullah ibn Masood ra, considered one of the most senior in fiqi among ALL the sahaba ra ajmaeen.
So what I finally understood was the fact that following the hikmah established by the schools of thought, and relying on orthodoxy, is actually following the wisdom of the Prophet PBUH which was then ultimately passed down to his companions, then to their companions, and then to scholars such as imam Abu Hanifa.
Then another realization I had to make was that of understanding the refutation of the false notion that a school of thought is actually the rulings of one scholar, and then these rulings are passed down to students. What a school of thought is is a methodology of a senior sahabi (such as Abdullah ibn Masood ra) passed to his students who preserved rulings and added new rulings using that methodology, and then the chain continued until now. Scholars within the school disagree about rulings sometimes, and the majority opinion (Jumhoor which is a word I became familiar with) of the scholars within a madhab is usually best to be followed.
I finally was convinced that the best and safest of ways to practice this deen was that of following a particular fiqi, and not picking and choosing between different madhahib because to do so is very problematic (I will add a link to a lecture that explains this for anyone interested).
I was once again Hanafi.
The reasons I chose the Hanafi school are numerous but I will outline the main ones in no particular order insha Allah
- My family is Hanafi, and I was not benefitting them with any knowledge I was gaining because they didnt believe in my methodology
- The scholars in my area whom I already know and have a relationship with are Hanafi Ulema, so if I wanna have access to rulings I have to chose that which is easiest to find.
- I speak Urdu, so when I do start in depth studies insha Allah I will be able to start with Urdu as I learn arabic insha Allah.
- When I get married my wife will most probably be desi, which means she also most probably will be hanafi
- I was hanafi before, and I know alot about the fiqi so it wouldnt be too much of a learning curve.
There are also other reasons but I think you can see why I chose this madhab.
What did this mean? Now that I was hanafi, what was gonna change?
Subhan Allah, the majority of what i was doing was already hanafi-acceptable so I didnt even ahve to change, but now I had the comfort of knowing that a mujtahid made the decision and not just some random person.
Now came the studies of what hanafi fiqi was.
I started having personal lessons with a local Imam, who is also the Shaykh who overseas my tajweed/Quran studies.
The main thing that you hear is the salafi/sufi battle. I had to ask what it is that legitimizes a group and makes them correct over another.
Now I do not believe that one group is absolutely wrong, but I did not know too much about sufis so I started researching.
All I knew was the fact that when I heard certian shuyukh speak about anything, they brought a depth to the topic unmatched by others. I would later find that these scholars were actually scholars of tasawwuf.
To my surprise, I found that Tasawwuf was no different in its science than that of hadith science and aqeedah science. For instance you can find someone who knows the hadith, record the hadith with its chain, and establish it as a tangible entity. So people can look and see exactly what the science is preserving because its something that is matter. Yet the science of Tasawwuf is merely the preservation of Ihsaan, and the methology that the sahabah used to establish ihsaan in their lives.
To think that since Ihsaan is something that cant be measured it isnt something that is preservable or something that can be made into a science is not correct. We have dua and adhkaar of the Prophet PBUH: Who preserved them? It was the scholars of tasawwuf who preserved the true hikmah of how to to use a dua correctly and what the conditions were of the dua. A dua is not just a hadith that is recitable by us, it is a piece of soul enhancing vitamins if you will, that you must know the dose of and the time you have to take it before you just take it any way you want.
The main thing I was skeptical about was the fact that I always heard about people worshiping awliyaa and praying at graves, etc. One of these nurturers of my heart confirmed to me that some people might participate in these actions, but it is not something that is correct. Some tariqas might provide evidences for things like this, but as far as the fiqi I now follow, I found it to be unacceptable.
This epiphony of sorts has totally changed my outlook on who I am and who I aspire to be.
Sincerity is the hardest of things to maintain in my opinion, and something I know I do sometimes is I try and not look sincere in front of people so that they think im just chillin and not really into the deen. This actually is backwards reasoning because you are then intending to please someone other than Allah, and this is something extremely dangerous wa naudhubillah. This problem that I have with sincerity is something that I have not been able to solve despite all my efforts, so now I have an avenue of solving this dilemma.
We had a tarbiyya conference at the masjid I go to for Quran/fiqi lessons and in this conference one shaykh descibed the importance of us to let go of our arrogance and to trust the elders IE scholars of this deen. This is an issue that is mostly just an issue in the west, and the shaykh said that this problem is one of the root causes of our issues within our communites.
So where does this leave me?
I have 3 weeks of school left, and I already mapped out for yall what my schedule is as far as school goes for the summer and fall, and I plan to make big moves as far as deen goes and how I want to learn it. I dont wanna get into details, but let me just say that many who think they know me would be surprised by what I may be about to do this summer wallahul musta'an.
May Allah reward those who have been vehicles of clarity and have given my contentment in my stance, and may Allah make them among those whom He loves, preferres, and guides...ameen
http://downloads1.nadeemdownloads.com/ISLAMIC%20SERVER%2005/Riyadhul%20Haq-Juristic%20Differences%20Part1.mp3http://downloads1.nadeemdownloads.com/ISLAMIC%20SERVER%2005/Riyadhul%20Haq-Juristic%20Differences%20Part2.mp3check those lectures to get a clear understanding of where im coming from if you have questions. I think Shaykh abu Yusuf does a stupendous job at explaining the topic of Juristic differences.
Utopia...
Its rather funny how sometimes our imagination can set up this bubble around us when we are dealing with uncertainty, giving us creative license to interpret anything the way we want to interpret it.
Its like you have something which you are unsure about how you are to interpret it, so you figure out how you want to interpret it, and then you release it into space to then orbit around you at an exact calculated orbit that you are comfortable with.
As if everything revolves around us, and there is no way something could be in disagreement with our interpretation.
Just remember that if something is uncertain, you take all the means possible to make it certain regardless of how you might look dumb in the end. You gotta have the guts to step up and be responsible for your actions, or else you will never grow.
We also should keep in mind that when the bubble does burst, and reality is shown, that you laugh it off, brush your shoulders off and keep it thoro as you know Allahul Musta'an and Qadr Allah wa masha fa'al.
IM A SURVIIIVA!
To hold you over...
Since I have yet to get time to put up the notes of the Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haqq lectures, here is a link that, if you look at it, you have to make dua for me. That is a promise I am taking from you all so I will hold you to it.If you dont know what to make dua for, then make dua that Allah accept all my duas.
http://nadeem.lightuponlight.com/indexaudios2.html#Abu_Yusuf_Riyadh_ul_Haq
that is one long link, i couldnt keep it together cuz it was messing up the blog format, so just cut the second line and paste it into the address bar next to the first line.
This link has lectures of the shaykh on it, but the site has a rack of lectures from like every scholar you can think of...in MPFREES!
Dont forget the duas and the notes will be up ASAP insha Allah...
True Peace...
http://gandaghee.blogspot.com/2006/02/peace.htmlThat post was made in February when Uncle Nazir Baig had a stroke and we went to go visit him. Subhan Allah, last night at around midnight he passed away in the rehab center, presumabely in his sleep.
inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon
How insignificant our issues seem when we think about the reality of our life ending at its appointed time.
Allah swt tells us in the Quran "Qul innal mawtal ladhee tafirroona minhu fa innahu mulaaqeekum".
Say: "The Death from which ye flee will truly overtake you"
We think what we are going through is so stressful and important yet we have no idea the trials that each one of us will face when our souls reach our collar bone and our legs are crossed over each other in the shroud in which we will be buried.
Musharraf Qaadri, Nazir Baig, and Nazir Vohra (May Allah have mercy upon them all), all uncles in my community whom I grew up knowing and loving, have passed away within the past 2 years.
When my father was all but gone to Allah swt Nazir uncle came and sat next to him and kept him company all afternoon even though my father was delirious from the medication he was on.
I look around and see the sons of of each of these now deceased cornerstones of the muslim community in this area and I see myself.
I put myself in their shoes and it fills me with a grief that I can not describe.
How could I possibly step up and be a leader like my father? Will I ever possess the cunningness of my father so that when he is gone, I will be able to benefit the family the way he did? Will I be able to console my mother when his day comes?
Or my mother: When she is gone, what will I do? Whose lap will I lay in when I come home from a hard day of work? I cant even continue without my eyes watering as this is a thought that I can not reflect on without my heart comming up into my throat.
How scary a thought it is to know that one day, the ones who cared for you when you were unable to care for yourself, who raised you with blood sweat and tears, who cried when you were hurt and prayed for your well being...will be gone soon.
May Allah grant Nazir Baig the highest levels of Jannah, forgive him all his sins, and make him among those whom He loves...ameen
FYI
Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq is masha Allah a fountain of knowledge.
I took about 7 and a half pages of notes on his lecture he gave here last night entitled "Fitna in the Ummah" and im in the process of trying to read my scribble scrabble and translating it onto word so I can post it here and send it to people who requested it.
Make dua!! Yeah...im talking to you!
Da Weekend...
Subhan Allah, this weekend began on such a sour note with me thinking that I was gonna be just rolling around in my house wearin my pajamas and being a loser, but instead you all made dua for me as I requested walhumdulillah and I had an absolutely splendid weekend.
Friday
It all began Friday evening when I made dua that Allah swt fill my emptiness with Quran, and to replace my lonliness with a companion of great regard, the Quran. I went to hifz class and recited the rest of the juzz I was on to my shaykh (may Allah preserve him) and subhan Allah he just smiled as I recited to him and kept his eyes closed. I am extremely OCD when it comes to not making any mistakes at all in a juzz and if I make a mistake or have an atak (get stuck) then I get extremely pissed and wanna just start over. So this happened a couple of times as I was reciting and I sucked my teeth and implored the shaykh to allow me to start from the beginning. He instead told me it was ok and told me to keep going. I finished the juzz and he gave me the ultimate that any Quran teacher could give you after you recite to him.
He said "Masha Allah...Very good...Ahsant"
This coming from a teacher who will make some of the students repeat the isti'za (au'dhubillahi...) because they dont pronounce it right. Alhumdulillah..I got permission to move to the next Juzz!!!
Saturday
So my boss got mad at me cuz I took off from work without clocking out, and I went home early without telling any manager on duty. After this incident took place I had 2 weeks off which I requested aforetime, so I didnt come in to work. Then when I get back and try to find when I come in to work, my coworkers tell me that my boss is angry with me and I need to come in and see him.
I go in to see him and he tells me he's angry cuz i left without following the right procedure. I apologize to him, and he tells me to come in the following week to work.
The next week I call to find when I have to come in and my boss apparently forgot to put me on the schedule so I have another weekend off. Thats 4 str8 weekends off!! At first im like, dude, i need some loot so im going into work regardless. But then I realize that there was a waleema that I had to go to anyway so it worked out!
I go to the waleema and to my surprise, there is 4/5ths of Gandaghee there!! Even Shaykh Washamama Gevya was there! It was a reunion that was absolutely necessary seeing how Aatif just got engaged (masha Allah) OPP is engaged and is moving to Cali in a couple of weeks (insha Allah and Masha Allah) and Chug is also now engaged and is too busy to do anything (he was the only one missing from the waleema and Masha Allah).
So after the waleema Aatif, OP and I went out and hung out till like 3 in the morning. I hadnt hung out with those guys in sooooooo long that subhan Allah, it didnt even matter where we went, just being in their company was extremely necessary.
While we were hanging out they both talked about their rishta situations and detailed the struggle to please in laws during the 'baat pakki'. It was surreal to be sitting with guys ive known nearly all my life and them now moving on and becoming established adults.
They then began to ask me about my rishta situations and what my plans were since I had hinted at them about the stuff I was going through and my plans to release my mother on some unsuspecting females. They knew I was working on something and I filled them in on my current status of now and how stuff really wasnt working out since I was still in school and going about stuff at the wrong angle.
I detailed to them about certain things going on in my life and how I was now trying to just get my school done by next spring so I can get back to where im supposed to be and they were real pumped.
They gave me some advice that was just amazing and definitely needed for my own confidence. They explained to me how the only thing I can do is let things naturally progress, and not to stress any particular situation cuz some people arent ready for stuff like marriage and that I need to just do what im doing and that I will get the best thing for me. Just cuz I think something is the best thing for me, doesnt necessarily mean it is.
Wow, this is some advice that is so simple, yet coming from my best buds it was like revelation to my situation!
They then gave me some more insightful indepth inside information about my particular situation which kind of gave me even more comfort in my current status walhumdulillah.
I remember way back I was having a convo with a couple of brothers about the establishment of an Islamic State, and one brother explained to me that the traditional point of view is that the vision is not that of establishment of Islam persay, but that the vision of each individual is that of pleasing Allah and purifying themselves, and that the Islamic State is then a consequence of this purification.
I tied this into my conversations with my homies and applied this same logic to my situation.
Why would I sweat a particular situation? I cant make my vision be this particular so called 'ideal' situation and then allow myself to mold and shape my life to fit the parameters of this particular situation. That would be compromising my own self and my own needs, and instead would set me back as I would neglect what I need to be doing just because im contemplating on what im going to do to make this situation work, instead of taking what would be the traditional strategy which is that of self purification and self rectification which if done completely and correctly will result in the consequence of getting married at the best time, establishing my life at the best possible time, etc.
This gave me some super comfort cuz now I am thinking about nothing more than my school and my deen, instead of thinking about this date and this establishment taking place that day.
What a rant!!!
Sunday
So tonight we had our joint MSA/Islamic Relief Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fundraising Dinner. We advertised hard core for the past 3 weeks all over Maryland and we were insha Allah expecting a turnout upwards of about 200 people.
Of course we aimed a bit high as we instead got a turnout of about 70-80 people walhumdulillah.
To make a long story short, we sponsored 20 orphans, and raised close to 11 thousand dollars alhumdulillah.
This may seem like a really small amount, but wallahi there was some barakah in that room. People left happy and though we were blown by the skimpy turnout, we were satisfied by the fact that those who came did donate to the best of their abilities.
I also got a chance to hang out with Naeem Muhammed after like forever, and I got to talk to him about my ideas for how Im gonna use him in Gandaghee II. He was down to be in it and we are hopefully gonna film what I wanted to film next Sunday at the concert with Native Deen and 786 in VA.
PS: Aatif is Emceeing the event in VA, and we are planning to actually, for the first time ever, perform some songs from halal mixtape...LIVE! It should be awesome since its something people have been requesting us to do forever!
Make dua!!!
Mission: Graduation
So instead of sitting and moping around because my boys around me are finishing up school and starting their lives, ive taken it upon myself to shoot for graduating next Spring Insha Allah. I know its gonna be hard, but now I am driven by the fuel of wanting to prove to myself and to any nay sayers that I can make a plan for my future soon, and that I can handle this type of load on my shoulders, and that I am not a loser career student type of dude. I am getting the heezy outta here insha Allah!!!
Summer Schedule insha Allah
- MATH 221: Linear Algebra
- COMP SCI 203: Discrete Structures
Fall 06 Schedule insha Allah
- American Studies 325: Studies in Popular Culture
- Biology 430: Biochemistry
- Biology 304: Plant Biology
- Comp Sci 202: C++ Programming
- Urdu II
- PE: Basketball (graduation requirement)
So make dua! Im really interested in the american studies class cuz i think im finally gonna be able to use my theories of the effects of music and television and american youth. 21.5 credits is gonna be nuts, but i think at this point I am driven by a bit of a chip on my shoulder.
Fee Sabeelillah...
To fathom the intensity of that statement, to understand the weight behind any action which has the foundation of being solely for the sake of Allah swt is strong enough to move mountains.
The comfort of doing something solely for the sake of Allah is a comfort unmatched by any other intention. The comfort exends beyond the results of the action itself as if the result is measured as positive by you then you know its from Allah and the best for you and if the result is measured as negative by you then still, you know since this result was based on the premise of pleasing Allah swt then this pleasure is still gainable and hopefully attained and therefore the negative result is in and of itself in actuality a positive result.
The pain of my inability to do that which I wanna do with my life at this point is something which has filled me with stress for months now.
My intention when I entered school was to pay for school on my own, to avoid any type of help from anyone, and to not come any where near a loan. This was how I started, and this task was hopefully done solely to please Allah.
Now this goal of mine has forced me to quit school in the past for one semester, go to school part time for 2 years in order to maintain my 2 jobs, and ultimately lead me to still be in school with about 11 classes left which is approximately one year insha Allah, a 23 year old senior whose been out of high school for 6 years now.
Now I have absolutely no problem with my still being in school as this is what I brought on myself with my avoiding any riba, and Allah has blessed the past 6 years of my life with the ability to learn this deen to a comfortable level, to become involved in many different Islamic institutions and organizations, and gain an innummerable amount of friends along the way.
This barakah that was put in my time is no question from Allah swt, and has granted me a bit of comfort that Allah might actually be somewhat pleased with me.
Now as I finish up school i come to a crux in my life as my friends of my age are all moving past the school phase of their lives and are entering the establishment part of their life. I look around me and everyone is either married, getting married, or are of the younger aged set of friends I have.
So my inherent reaction to this newfound lonliness is obviously to go out and try to set something up of my own.
But in comes the test of my sincerity and devotion to Allah swt.
My financial situation and my still being in school, direct byproducts of my intention to stay out of a sin which would make me among those who has declared war against al Qaweeyun Azeez, is now being used to declare me as inable to continue with my own goals and plans of establishing my future.
I had planned that at 23 I would be here and be there and that this would happen and that that would happen, yet to someone I would speak to in order to begin this laying down of a foundation, now is no different than 3 years ago or even 5 years ago in their eyes. Im just an unstable, uncertain, irresponsible super senior who can not handle such a responsibility as planning for the future because look at me! Im still in school working jobs that I will ultimately quit as soon as I get into my field.
At first this put me into a sense of almost depression.
I just want to scream to everyone what ive done, how ive done it, and what type of roadblocks have been set up in my way that I have climbed over to even get to where I am today.
Dont they know that [Editted]
Dont they know that ...
and then I thought: I can go through an entire list of road blocks that ive faced of an even greater magnitude than the aforementioned one but...why?
I did this for the sake of Allah, Allah swt: Alimul ghaybi wash shahadah has put this difficult path ahead of me and I took it SOLELY to please Him azzawajal. So why should I feel down because some man is going to consider me unstable when the path which I am aspiring to stay on is the most stable of paths, the path that Allah swt has set up for me.
This is why when we do anything it has to be for the sake of Allah, because any stuggle, any toil and trouble is then known to be from Allah only to purify us further and to increase us in rank in Jannah, and so that Allah swt is pleased with us even more.
I pray that Allah swt makes my intentions pure, and never allows me to feel as though ive earned some sort of merit badge for taking a particular path, as if ive done something which earns anything from anyone here on earth...ameen
The Iboo Diet...
For the past nearly 2 months ive been on a mission to lose some lbs.
It all started 2 summers ago in Pakistan at my bro's wedding. I was all over the ghetto areas of Karachi giving out invitations and it was like a brazzillion degrees outside. Naturally, I would ask for water at each house I would visit and the request would be accompanied by the question 'Ye pani bottle ka hai?'
Because if it isnt bottled water, then your in for some trouble as the water comes out of the pipes with a hint of brown.
So at like the third house i get some water which supposed to be bottled, and it has roohafza mixed in it. I drink about half the glass before being told that it actually is not bottled water it is from the tap.
Yippee!
Soon thereafter came problem after problem with my digestive tract that has now led me being diagnosed with a condition.
But khayr, its not that big a deal that I got some bug, the issue is that I weighed about 185 when i came back from Pakistan and within about 3 weeks ballooned up to 210. I couldnt exercize like I used to because of my condition so I weighed over 200 up until 2 months ago...when I began the Iboo diet.
Now the Iboo diet is not some extraordinary weight loss break through or something. I had just been looking at how people do all these diets that are in some cases calling for opposite things to be done to lose weight, and for the most part they are all working.
Then I looked at the Quran and Sunnah for evidences on how a muslim is to treat food and I almost feel like I made some illegitimate ijtihad on how a muslim is supposed to eat.
The first thing I noticed was that there was one thing all these diet plans have in common: calling for discipline.
Each diet was telling a person to discipline their diet in a particular way and to be conscious of what kind of food they are eating. This in fact is what Allah swt tells us to do as well in the Quran when He swt says :
2:168 O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, Lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the evil one, for he is to you an avowed enemy. and
2:172 O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.So discipline is called for by Allah swt concerning our diet.
Also there is the famous hadith of the Prophet PBUH about how he would seperate his stomach into thirds with 1 being food, 1 being water, and 1 being air.
Another reflection I had was that of the constant mention of food in the descriptions of Jannah. We are promised all these things dealing with food in Paradise yet we go around and indulge in food here whenever we get the opportunity. We're all on the see-food diet. We see it and we eat it. But if Allah swt has promised us the opportunity to indulge in food in Jannah, then to me that means that I should not indulge in food here and this was the way that the Prophet PBUH also lived. Its narrated that he went months on just water and dates. The best man to ever walk the earth lived such a humble life subhan Allah.
So back to the diet.
After reading and reflecting about stuff I decided that instead of having someone else tell me what to cut out of my diet, i was going to cut out what I indulge in.
The Iboo Ring...
So before I continue with this entry everyone has to recognize the risk I am taking to post pictures of the Iboo Ring.
Since its creation, it has been nazzared numerous times by numerous individuals and therefore is constantly under the threat of being lost scratched or stolen.
So now lets get into the history of the Iboo Ring.
It was circa summer '99 and my mamoo was getting married in Pakistan. We could afford 3 tickets so I decided to let my bro sis and mom go and I would stay home with my pops.
So after the wedding my mother calls me and asks me if I want her to bring me anything. I had this idea in my head for a ring that said Iboo on it so I described it to my mother, and asked her to have it made in silver. She didnt know my ring size so she just guesstimated and alhumdulillah she was pretty darn close.
She complied, and so the Iboo ring was born.
Now this ring has gone through some craaaaazy stuff in its lifetime.
I was at work one day and walked into the stock room to look for a vaccuum. As I mentioned earlier the ring is not exactly my size as its big enough for me to spin around on my finger (which I do as a nervous habit btw). So I walk into the stock room and the ring flies off my finger as I reach to grab a box. The ring bounces..and bounces...and bounces right into the crack between the stock elevator shaft and the floor. It was just sitting there, almost floating. One of my boys and I are the only ones there and we are just in shock of the impossibility of what has just happened. So I creep over towards my ring and alas, someone from the floor below decides to call the elevator, the door shifts, and my ring falls all the way down the shaft with my outstretched hand only inches from grabbing it. I yelled out a theatrical 'NOOOOOO!' as I witnessed it fall down and clank at the bottom.
I then spoke to the manager and told her to get someone down there to get it expecting to hear an evil Mr. India Mugambo laugh, but instead she told me that the elevator maintenance crew would be coming in a couple of weeks and they would get it out for me...and they did walhumdulillah.
This is when I began speculation of someone nazzaring my ring, but I didnt think anything of it. But I should have...
I was at Jummah at my local masjid, and this brother walks up to me after the khutbah and notices my ring.
'I WISH I had a ring like that'
Thats when I labelled the bro Nazzar Ali Khan and ran home fearing my ring was in for it again, and it was.
Almost a couple hours later I realize that my ring is missing. I am super blown and I tear the house apart. I turn my pockets inside out and my room upside down but no sign of the ring. I then read the dua you say when you lose something:
Ya mujamma an naas, al yawma larayba fee, jamma baynee wa baynal Iboo Ring.
"O gatherer of mankind on the day in which there is no doubt, gather me with the Iboo Ring."
Subhan Allah, right then I reached into my pocket and it was in my pocket. There is no way it was there before I made the dua because i had put the pockets inside out, yet after I made the dua it just appeared in my pocket.
I had become a bit paranoid to the hassad on my ring after this to say the least.
But it didnt stop there.
I was visiting the Uni that I actually attend now and we were in the musallah making salaah. After salaah we walk out and someone said something about my ring. I was actually hiding behind a wall waiting for a brother to walk by so that I could tackle em (guy stuff) and as I tackled him my ring went flying off of my finger. It didnt fly too far from what I noticed so all the brothers and sisters who were there all got together with me and we searched for it. Almost 15 minutes later, and after I even went through the trash cans that were adjacent to the area, everyone gave up. I made the dua again, and began to walk to the exit. Almost 50+ feet from the place where I initially tackled the bro was my ring, sitting on the edge of a sofa almost as if someone placed it there.
Hassad is real brothers and sisters, and my ring is a proof of that.
Today, the ring is still on my finger walhumdulillah and serves multiple purposes. I wear it on my right ring finger of course, but when I go to conferences or gatherings where my mom knows there are gonna be single sisters, she tells me to turn the ring around and wear it on my left hand because it looks like a wedding band when I do that. Obviously my mom is saying that just to make me feel better about myself :)
So that is the story of the Iboo Ring, be sure to recite surah naas and blow on the picture of my ring to ensure its safety...jk
Newest Desktop Pic
Spring Time: Shaytan's favorite season...
Im a winter kind of guy.
I love being bundled up in layers of clothes, having a hoodie tight on the sides of my face, sleeping with 2 comforters in the freezing cold basement with one foot poking out kind of like a thermometer.
But alas, the world spins and revolves and in comes the spring.
Now I love spring time weather: The sun out with a beautiful breeze floating through, birds chirping and flowers blooming.
So whats the problem you might ask?
In the winter, you walk around campus and you hardly notice the fitnah around you. Of course there is fitnah, but you can really focus on school and the distractions that do exist are able to be avoided.
In comes the hot weather, and off come the clothes.
I mean, the entire winter its like there is a sense of modesty in the air. People HAVE to cover themselves and whether people realize it or not, the sensitivity level of what the eye sees as pleasureful increases.
This is evident at the first sign of nice weather when the vixons decide to wear halter tops and low cut tops and bottoms, and guys think that all of a sudden there was some sort of mass transfer that happened at school where all these attractive women started attending classes mid semester.
I see guys breaking their necks to lay their eyes on a woman's body for just one extra second so that they can gain that little bit of hapiness from that which they saw. One of these people is this guy I work with, who would always make it a point to come to my vaccuum department and give a hug to my coworker lady whenever she would decide to wear a tight shirt. Then one day I blew his spot.
"Hey fulana, you know the only reason he gives you a hug is because he wants to feel your body pressed against his, right?"
Ive never seen a dark skinned black man blush as this man blushed.
I then asked him what the difference was between him and a dog. If any person is to pat their leg, a dog is going to jump up onto the leg, so is that not exactly how this man is acting?
Wa amma man khaafa maqaama rabbihee wa nahan nafsa'anil hawaa'. Fa innal jannatahiyal ma'waa.
So back to the point.
Allah swt commands women to cover themselves in the Quran by instructing them to 'cover their ornaments'. Subhan Allah, all these women have been going to the school and have been walking up and down the hallways yet people didnt notice them like that. Then all of a sudden, they take off some clothes, and everyone looks at them like they are models or something.
Its because Allah swt is al Hakeem and He swt so accurately described the beauty of a women as ornaments, as these ornaments were always there, but they were not exposed thus not attracting the eyes. But the minute you show these ornaments it attracts all types of attention.
May Allah reward our sisters who cover themselves as Allah swt has instructed them to do so, carrying the banner of Islam every time they go outside, regardless of what the climate is like outside.
Karachi Tragedy...
Who?
Who could possibly in their right mind do something so absolutely dispicable, so hideous and mind-numbingly insane like blowing themselves up in the middle of salaah?
Who out there could think of any possible excuse, any possible explanation for doing something like standing in the second row of prayer, in a gathering remembering the Prophet PBUH, and then detonate a bomb that killed nearly 70 people among whom were ulema?
Who could support such a cause that would call for the killing of innocent, God loving worshippers?
What?
What is in the heart of such an individual who can legitimize such a gruesome act in their mind? What blackness! What raan has engulfed this qalb, swallowed this qalb, and cut this qalb off from the penetration of even the slightest amount of logic and wisdom which would deter it from commanding this badan from committing an atrocity of such a magnitude?
When?
When will we as an ummah wake up and realize that anger is not correctly expressed by looting and destroying public property? When will we realize that our letting go of the sunnah and our getting off the path of the Prophet PBUH is what has lead to such chaos around the world?
When will the muslimeen recognize the need for establishing sincerity in their heart before even considering establishing sharia in the land? Is not the land an extention of the heart?
Where?
Where is the brotherhood? Where is our sense of loving for our brothers what we love for ourselves? Where are our 70 excuses? Where is our sense of lowering ourselves out of love for our brother? Where is our ummah?
Why?
Why would anyone think that they can solve any type of problem, express any type of concern, give any type of da'wah by doing something like blowing up their fellow muslim brothers and sisters? Why are we so dense? Why do we have such tunnel vision? Why do we wish to carry out an action without first learning the correct methodology of that action? Why dont we obey Allah and obey the Messenger?
How?
How can we sit back and watch this type of thing happen to our brothers and sisters and not shed a tear? How can we sit watchin images of our brother's body parts being strewn across a musallah without becoming so impatient, so irritated that we couldnt prevent this from happening that we wanna just jump on the first plane over to Pakistan to help with the establishment of true in Islam in the subcontinent? How are we to consider ourselves Muslim when our body has just been injured, we have just been dealt a severe blow to our selves, and we dont even flinch, we dont even wince in pain, shed a tear or recognize the injury.
May Allah accept those who were killed in Pakistan yesterday as Martyrs, forgive all their sins, and make them among those whom He loves...ameen
Long Engagements...
I hate when you talk to someone and they try to convince you that the only way a marriage can be successful if it is done in a particular idealistic cookie cutter format. As if everyone has the same situation in their life, and everyone has the same goals for their immediate future.
With that said, I have never been a fan of long engagements. Some of my friends were engaged for more than 3 to 4 years, and all I see happening from something like that is fitnah fitnah fitnah.
But now I look at my situation, and how im 23 years old now (my bro was engaged at 19 and married at 22, now has a daughter at 24) and how i probably have about 3 semesters worth of classes left, and how it might be time to have my parents start getting out there and finding me a wife.
But what do I have to offer?
I know that when I finish school insha Allah, I should not have a problem getting a decent job, but that would be in at least 2 years, so what do I tell a parent of a girl if I am to talk to them like this summer?
"Salaamu alaykum Uncle...well...I am still in school with 2 jobs to pay tuition...I live in the basement with my parents and I drive a car that is gonna probably fall apart in a year. Can I marry your daughter...please?"
I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock being my current situation which is that of everyone around me getting married and not being around, and the hard place being trying to get something set up myself when I have little to nothing to impress someone's Wali.
Maybe the answer is to have my parents set something up this summer with maybe spreading the nikaah and waleema/ruksatti over 2 years?
Uncertainty sucks...
Back from Beantown...
Subhan Allah...
What a beautiful weekend it was.
Before I go to bed I want to highlight 3 points in the meeting I was blessed to be a part of. These points are points that anyone insha Allah can read about and benefit from as they display character which we all need to be reminded of bi'idhnillah.
1) After we prayed fajr and made the adhkaar of the morning, a brother was asked to give a small reminder. Upon taking the microphone, the brother began to weep. He wept for almost 30 seconds to himself until he began to speak. As he began to speak you realized the purpose of his tears.
"Subhan Allah...I dont know why I was asked to speak to a people of such a caliber. Have you heard of the man who was a date seller in a gold market...subhan Allah...I have nothing which I can benefit you with, as I only have dates. But let me tell you of my dates..."
He then began the reminder which was walhumdulillah beneficial, but he cut it short, apologized, and left the mic as he walked from the front.
How many of us say we are humble and sincere, yet how few of us actually are moved to a point where our humility actually leads us to humiliation?
2) There was a brother who was asked to give a reminder after the Dhuhr/Asr salaah. The brother came to the mic and then began speaking about the love of the Prophet PBUH, the month which we are in being the month of the Mawlid, and how this man was greatness personified. The talk was very amazing and beneficial, but there was one point which was made me reflect. The brother said 'The Prophet PBUH was not sent to a bunch of mu'mineen. He was sent in the midst of kufr and shirk to purify these people, similar to our situation here in the US."
Subhan Allah...I never thought about the fact that the prophet PBUH wasnt given a task which was already being fulfilled before he was sent, so that when he was sent the blueprint was there and the backbone of the da'wah was there so he just stepped in and assumed control. This da'wah is a da'wah which is going to require long term goals and long term planning, and we must be as the Prophet PBUh was to the mushrikeen by setting an example of piety so that these people will admire us and follow suit.
3) This moment was the absolute deepest moment for me, and a moment which I will treasure for the rest of my life.
It was after Isha I believe, and we had just had a short talk, when a brother came to the front. The brother said that he felt a beautiful feeling in the room, and a strong sense of brotherhood among us, and he felt that this was a perfect time to make tawassul to Allah swt as was done by the 3 in the cave, by the good deeds we put forth. The brother said that he wanted to make collective dua with the good deed of brotherhood between us, so that Allah swt would forgive our sins.
But before he began, he made a statement which made almost everyone in the room weep.
He asked that before we begin, everyone in the room (bros w/bros, sisters w/sisters of course) come so close to eachother that there be not even a gap between us. So tight and close that we would have literally no room to maneuver around for comfort. Then he told us that for fear of our collective dua not being accepted, he asked that everyone in the room look deep into their heart and reflect on whether or not there is any ill feeling being fostered in the heart for any brother in the room, or not in the room. He said that if there is any feeling like this that someone has, the person should now clear his heart of this feeling, or else the person should leave the room for fear of everyone's dua being rejected.
After these words, it was as if we were a snowball of emotion placed on the top of a very steep hill, just waiting for a push.
The push was the first part of the dua.
This dua that the brother made was simple and very short, yet it was so powerful, so full of sincerity insha Allah, that it was by far the most beneficial dua that ive been a part of.
Thats all for now, I pray that Allah swt accepts anything which I put forward for His Sake this weeken, and that HE swt makes me among the tools which he uses to better the deen.
Off to beantown...
So i will be going to Boston for the weekend after class tomorrow insha Allah. Keep me in your duas that Allah swt make the trip beneficial and that I come back as a better muslim than when I left.
in the meantime...check out http://
mist.ressay.com for pictures from Saturdays competitions at MIST. The best pics are not yet available but insha Allah they will be by the time I get back so I can make my long awaited MIST post. I must warn you, all the pics of me got me looking like a bear cuz I had like 3 hours of sleep combined with a week old shadow beard around my beard.
Salaamu alaykum
Iboo
Halal Mixtape MP3s!!!!
Salaamu alaykum guys,
In the spirit of an almost official kickoff of true work being done of GII, my boy at reflex studio productions has put up all the songs from Halal Mixtape I onto his site for download as MP3s.
www.ressay.com/download/Gandaghee Songs <------------ dont forget the space before Songs!
For those of you who know quality sound should recognize the fact that these tracks were mixed and mastered with the most state of the art sound equipment, not some ghetto doodoo equipment. Soon im gonna start recording my tracks for GII and im gonna put up a couple sneak previews up there too so I'll keep you posted!
